Running Code 3

I run … A lot.  I’ve run a lot of races and at every race, I see something crazy, or notice something, and every time I think to myself, “I’d love to run with my helmet cam and a mic so I can document all this crazy sh*t!”  I know that I’m not perfect … I’m far from it, but some of this stuff is off the wall and so obvious that I wonder what the other runners think. So … I’m going to just document things that I’ve seen or thought about while at a race.  Mind you, these are MY thoughts alone and I’m just getting them out of my head for the sake of MY own entertainment.  Remember, my humor is somewhat sick and twisted so forgive me.  And also remember this is me talking to ME in my own head – although I’m sure some of it has, at one time or another, slipped out somehow loud and completely by accident, not meaning to hurt anyone.  Remember … this is ME talking to ME …

Damn it’s freakin’ early.  I mean it’s too early to be awake!  What the heck? I should be sleeping still!

I can’t wait for this to be over so I can take a nap.

Geez, it’s cold/hot (mostly cold) out here?

I hope I didn’t forget anything. (Pats self down). iFitness belt – check. iPod with earbuds – check. Gu/Nutrition – check. Water bottles – check. Garmin – check.  Okay, okay, okay, already.  Stop OCD’ing.  You have everything.

I hope my feet hold up. I hope I wore the “right” shoes. Gawd, I should’ve put my inserts in. I think I wrapped my ace wrap too tight.

Damn it!  I forgot my lip balm! Ugh.

Sunglasses? Where are they? On top of my head … duh!

Where did all these people come from? I wonder how fast they all are? Let me predict what place I’ll come in.

Why? Why am I doing this again?  Why do I do this to myself?

“Excuse me, can you take my picture, please?”

Is my Garmin on? Why can’t I get a signal?

Gotta set up my music. Earbuds on as I like them. What’s on this playlist again?

Gun time! Oh my Gawd!  I’m not ready!

Where’s Chris?

My feet feel heavy.

Control your breathing. Slow down a tiny bit, Row.

Ow, my ankle/foot hurts. I hope it holds up for 13.1 miles.

Really, she’s wearing “that?”

What? It’s only mile one?

Compression gear means to COMPRESS.

Hello? Excuse me … Um … yeah, did you check yourself in the mirror miss, ’cause your shorts are a little bit too short.  “Cheeks” should not be showing, especially when they are not very nice cheeks to look at!

Some people should not wear compression gear.

Some people really need to wear compression gear.

Her gait’s different. Her left leg circles out. That’s gotta hurt.

I wish Nathan and Noah liked running.

Aaaaarrghhh … my shorts keep creeping up … LOL! (tugs shorts down)

He’s a heel striker.

She’s a pronator.

Wow … it looks like she could use new shoes.

Oh boy, your music is too loud – especially when I can hear it thru my ear buds.

My feet hurt. I wonder if I should stop and stretch?

I’m not going to stop until mile 6.5. Com’mon, Row., suck it up.

I’m tired.

I’m hungry.

Really? Cotton?  Cotton is ROTTEN!

I’m glad I don’t wear heels, I’d really jack my feet up.  I don’t know how women do it though.

Ooops … there’s cheek girl again.

What mile am I on?

Oooofff! Whoa … Have you not ever heard of deodorant? Must run away …

Oooh … I like this song (sings out loud).

I don’t understand why my trainer says that I need to quit running?

Is it time for a Gu? Is it time for a salt cap?

Oooh … I like that sign … ‘Where’s everyone going?”

“I’m really glad you’re out here …” Said to almost every volunteer and officer on the course.

Gawd, that water is awful (spits it out).

Her compression gear is not tight enough … Yikes. Supposed to minimize jiggle.

What mile am I on? How much longer?

Oooooh … Camera crew … Smile and throw up a “shaka.”

I can’t wait to take a nap after this.

Ohhhh … Mile 11. Com’mon, Row., you got this.

To every person I pass, “Com’mon, run with me. You got this.”

“Finish strong. Come with me. Let’s go.”

Oh my gawd, where is mile 12? (Checks Roxanne the Garmin.)

When’s my next race? Do I really want to do this AGAIN?

My head needs to shut up.

I’m hungry … I hope they have good post race food.

Uhhhhh uhhhhh … Mile 12, com’mon, you got this.

Yea … Fat Boy Slim … Rockafellar Skank. Take me home. (Sings)  “Right about now, the funk soul brother … Check it out now …”

Pick it up, Row. You can do this. One more mile. You can do it for one more mile. Less than 10 minutes. Less than 10 minutes …

Look! There’s the finish line … It’s right there.  Right there … Dig deep, Row.  Dig DEEP!

You can push a little harder.  You can go a little faster …

Cramp. Oh, geez, cramp.

Push, Row. PUSH.

She is NOT beating me …

Mile 13 … The finish is right there. Go!

Oh. My. God. I’m DONE. Thank you God, I am done.

Give me that medal!

Yea, I did it … Where’s the food?

I am so done! Yea!

What’s my next race? Really? I’m thinking about the next race already?

I wish that the dialogue was more exciting. I don’t really cuss so there’s not really much cussing at all during my run. I really am this boring. Most time what goes thru my mind are mini prayers. Something will remind me of someone, and I’ll ask God to bless them and let them know that I’m thinking about them. For example, at my race in Fresno, at the half mile point was the Amtrak Station and it reminded me of my friend, Linda, so I asked God to bless her, etc. A certain song may come on and remind me of my daughter, or another friend, and I’ll smile and again tell God that I am thankful for their presence in my life. Or … when a certain part of the course is getting hard and I’m tired and want to stop, I’ll hear the voice of my old trainer, Scott, tell me to suck it up and keep going. Most of my runs are pretty mindless and I usually run alone, so I just use that time to think and pray. I am known to laugh out loud, sing out loud, or even shed a tear or two. So … yes, my mind wanders while I run. While my feet are on the ground, moving in the direction of the finish line, my mind is ALL over the place thinking, praying, laughing at people, talking to myself, wanting to scream out insanely at the top of my lungs …

I’m not one of those people who let’s what’s in my head come out of my mouth. I’m an internalizer, and what “needs” to come out, comes out on paper.  I don’t do much talking so running and thinking works for me. Running is awesome.  It’s a great place to do your best thinking. Well, I guess, it’s the best place to do MY best thinking and meditating … and, yes, I would suggest that you try it too if you already don’t. And it would be interesting to hear what your thoughts are as well …

Train HARD!  Train SMART!  Eat WELL!  Run HAPPY!  And, most importantly, have FUN in the process.