I haven’t been motivated to do much lately when it comes to working out.  I feel as if I’ve given up, and am just taking up space, wasting my time. I know … What happened? I believe that that self-imposed “break” that I took in February, then March, and up to now to reset and regroup set me back a little, and regressed me a little too much because I have found myself lazing a little too much, looking for excuses instead of motivation. Honestly, I feel like a hypocrite … Seriously, talking training and working out, yet doing minimal workouts and eating crap! Ugh.

I don’t like myself at the moment. My poor trainer has been working hard to get me back in the box … and I do want to go, but as I’ve said, I’ve been really good at making excuses instead of just sucking it up and going into the box and getting it done. I seriously want to find a magic pill, get some crazy ass surgery … Okay, I’m being sarcastic. I’m not afraid of putting in the work, but I’ve seriously lost my mojo. I’ve lost my drive. Instead hypocrisy is running amok in it’s place. I’ve lost a little of myself. I’m having a hard time, and all I want to do is whine. It used to be so easy for me to just get out there and get things done. It used to be so easy for me to self-motivate and find my own inspiration. I know that my biggest issue is eating poorly, and lack of sleep. I know what I need to do, I just need to suck it up, get myself to the box, and get the work in.  I can do this. I know what I need to do.

What I’ve done to try and kick start myself is to register for a race. I did. I registered for a half that I’ll run in a few weeks … and I’m once again untrained.  I will get myself into the box.  I will stop talking so much and just start putting in the work. I will let the results speak for themselves. I will find motivation. I will find my mojo. I will inspire myself. I will chuck my excuses and kick my own ass.

I see my body and I cringe. I see my body and I see so much potential. I look at myself and I know what I am capable of. Mini but MIGHTY … true story.  Starting NOW. Gotta go … Time to shut the f*ck up and do work. Who wants to come with me? Who wants to hold me accountable? Who wants to just kick my butt?!?