I’ve been dickin’ around with this for far too long.  It’s time that I made up my mind and decide one way or another if I’m running CIM or not.  Soooooo … As of today, right now, this very moment … After much deliberation and over thinking … I’m “IN.”  No more changing my mind or fretting and worrying about it.  I’m going to run CIM.  No more thinking about it, only planning for the run, and getting into and staying in race mode.

There.  It’s out.  It’s done.  Decision made.  I had a few heart to hearts with those that know the turmoil in my head.  If you’re wondering if I have any goals, well, kinda … I want to finish strong and healthy and in one piece.  I’m not sure what my buddy, Cory, has in mind, if she has decided to opt out or not, but I know that Judy has decided to run with me.  I know that Mac’s running, but I’m not sure about Mel. Last year I ran with time goals in mind.  This year, as I have said, I will run only for the pure joy of just being able to run and finish a marathon.  This will be marathon number 4 for me.  I’ll be going in without any reservations, I’ll be healthy, and injury free, and I will finish strong and happy.  (So it is written, so it will be and is done.)

That being said, I’m leaving it at that.  I’m not talking about it anymore, so don’t ask me …  I’m good with my decision, and I’m at peace. I know that I CAN do this and that I WILL do this.  That’s all that you need to know.  So … let’s get to training …

Sunday:  I got no data for you.  I was supposed to run something today, and I took the day off and everything, but signed up for nothing.  I’m sure that the Stockton Half was on this date last year and that’s why I took the day off, but they changed the date on me.  My running buddy, Mac, asked me if I wanted to run the Clarksburg Country Run, but opted out because of the fact that I’ve been running so dang much.  At the very last minute I thought I’d register, then opted out again.  I’m glad that I did because I feel pretty whipped!  I heard that it was a really nice venue, and I’m sorry that I missed it, but seriously, I’m glad that I didn’t run.

Instead, I sat around the house, ate not one, but TWO glazed donuts, and did absolutely NOT A DAMN THING!  And … I don’t feel guilty about it.

Monday:  I hit up American Martial Arts for a great cardio session with Jeanne and my girls.  I love my friends at AMAA.  Since my shoulder is still pretty stressed, I couldn’t do the exercises that required push ups, or left hooks, but everything else I was okay with.  I had to laugh when my friend, Karyn, asked me why I was there if I was injured … Girl, only my left shoulder is injured … not my legs, my core, or any other part of my body.  So I have no excuse.  I love working out there!  It makes me happy.  I signed up for Cage Fitness also … yep.  Something new to learn!  Excited.

Tuesday:  The plan was to get in the box but that didn’t happen, so then it changed to get in a spin workout, but instead I ended up with a whole lotta nothing!  Oops!  Oh well.  What can I say?  I’m tellin’ you, the weekend kicks my butt!  Ugh.  I’m not going to complain though.  I got some good rest in and I’m happy about that, then I worked a short stint at my Princess job.  Running around the hospital for 4 hours was enough of a workout for me today.

Wednesday: I’m surprised that I went.  I rushed in the morning to get there on time and when I got there, I wished that I just stayed home.

The Warm Up:
3 rounds of
Run 200m
15 Jump Squats
15 Kips (no kips for me because I can’t hang, so I was to do PVC roll overs)
5 HS Kick ups (none of those for me either)
Then … when that’s all done … 400m sled pull at 135#.

Let me tell you that I can’t pull 135# so I don’t know why I keep having to do it. Okay … I can pull it, I don’t like to pull it. It’s so freakin’ heavy and it takes me so freakin’ long to do it.  It’s frustrating beyond belief, and it sucks ass!

Strength:
I didn’t even do whatever it was that I was supposed to do, because that f’n sled pull took me too dang long!

The Workout:
3 rounds of
200m Farmer Carry – I coudn’t do that so my trainer switched it up and modified my Farmer Carry to a sandbag carry. 50# sandbag carried 200m.
20 Deadlifts – 105# for me
40 Overhead Lunges. Overhead was a no no for me, so I carried the weight to my side 15#.

I enjoyed the workout, just not the sled pull. I was not feeling it, and it’s starting to piss me off that my shoulder is STILL injured and hurting. Yeah. Workout done, but not with a happy heart.

Thursday:  The plan was to hit the box immediately after working my 12 hour  shift, however, the powers that be had other plans.  It was a very BUSY night at work, and according to my manager, she was told by the higher ups that she was not to give us breaks.  Really?  A 12 hour shift without a break or any meals?  That makes for a very unhappy employee.  Really, you’re not gonna give any of us a break?  Whatever.  That being said … I was not able to eat, or take a short rest period so that meant no workout for me.  So … I decided to go home, sleep, then get up early and hit the box at 1500.  My husband said that he woke me up, but he didn’t.  I know he didn’t because I heard him, and I wasn’t fully sleeping.  I know that he did NOT try to wake me up.  He went and worked out alone!  WTF?  Seriously?  Let me tell you … this made for one very pissed off, cranky, frustrated girl.  My shoulders are tense.  I’m mad as hell, my tolerance level is LOW.  That was NOT a good idea to let me sleep.  I needed that workout, but I probably needed the rest more.  That being said, I’ll leave it alone.

Friday:  I had every intention of going to workout in the morning, but didn’t make it.  I had every intention to go workout in the evening, but puttered around so much that I lost track of time so that was a bust.  That being said, I guess you can tell pretty much that my energy expenditure for the day was a huge … a really HUGE goose egg!  Nada!  Ugh.  I’m finding that the weeks after working my weekends are so difficult.  They suck.  I’m having such a difficult time recovering … not to mention, I have Seasonal Affective Disorder so it makes it even crazier.  I “forget” every year until my hubby mentions it to me.  Oh well … =[  No excuses.  It is what it is.  It just sucks to not get a workout in at all.  SUCKS!  Instead, besides fiddle farting around with my family, you would’ve found me with my H-Wave permanently attached to my left shoulder for at least 2 hours!  I love my H-Wave!

On another note, I signed Chris and I up for Brazen Racing’s New Year’s Day Run, and NorCal Survivor Mud Run.  Thanks to Schwaggle, I got the Survivor Mud Run at a HUGE discount (65%), so it was almost FREE!  And … since I got a nice offer from Morgan Hill (50% off), I signed us up for 2012’s Morgan Hill Half Marathon, which is in October.

Saturday:  There’s a new fitness rage at American Martial Arts Academy where I workout … it’s called Cage Fitness.  5 – 5 minute rounds of a total body workout!  OMG!  I signed up to attend a class today and absolutely LOVED it!!!  I had so much fun!  =)  But I LOVE martial arts.  I love MMA and boxing.  It makes me feel STRONG and confident.  It’s awesome.  So that was my workout today.  Jeanne kicked my ass.  I just wish that my shoulder was not so wonky so that I could do the moves at 100% instead of 50-75%  I know it’s necessary to save and rest my shoulder, but seriously, it’s been a month and it sucks.  So … more H-wave for me today again.  I spent the day cooking Paleo, and taking my kids out to the mall.  I had a great day.

That’s my weekly recap.  Not much of anything, but a little bit of some things … Could’ve been better, could’ve been worse.

I’m not answering any questions about my decision to run.  I know that’s insane, but those that need to know … know, and those that don’t need to know, know enough and really don’t need to know much more.  If I start talking about it, I know me … I’ll be able to freak myself out and talk myself out of it.  So … NO.  I’ve made up my mind and I’m now in race mode.  Thank you very much, have a nice day …

My training has been consistent.  I’ve gotten my runs in, albeit short and sweet, they have been pretty good and pretty taxing.  I love my trainer.  I know that my shoulder will get better – I just need to be patient and just rest it, leave it alone, and not push it as I have been.  I have faith in myself.  I have great friends and my awesome hubby that I can lean on.

I talked to my friend, Cory, today … she’s worried about CIM, but she says that she will run it.  I’m happy about that … =)  We can do it.  I know that we can.  It’s all good.  So … Me, Mac, Cory, Judy, and probably Mel.  Love it.

I have some training issues that I have to workout with my trainer next week, but I’m sure that they will resolve themselves. I just need to talk to him about a few things.  I’m gonna hit the box pretty hard this coming up week.  My kiddos are off from school so it’ll work out that I can go a little earlier or sleep in a little later … =)

Thanksgiving is coming up this next week also.  I have so many things to be thankful for as I am very blessed!  I have a great life.

So … two weeks.  Train Hard.  Train Smart.  Eat Well. And have FUN!  It’s not worth it if it’s not fun!

The fact that you can feel the fear means you also have the courage to get beyond it.  Otherwise, the fear would serve no useful purpose.   – Anonymous