I Workout So I Can Eat Whatever I Want – Fact or Fiction?

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

I’m not going to lie … I am like every other woman who wishes that there was a Magic Pill that would keep the body in shape without working out, to allow me to eat whatever I wanted without gaining an ounce, to keep the wrinkles and gray hair at bay, and to keep me healthy. Fountain of youth? I know that that doesn’t exist so I am not even going to start dreaming about it! I’m just looking for the lazy way … but the lazy way doens’t exist either!

Thankfully though, I am one of those women who has been blessed with athletic abilities. I believe that once I was released from my mother’s womb, I hit the ground running. I started walking at 9 months old. I ran my first track meet in the 4th grade. I dabbled in gymnastics, ran high school varsity track and cross country. I have a black belt in Krav Maga. I have participated in and have taught kickboxing classes. I have run 10Ks, half-marathons, and even a couple marathons. I am proud to say that I AM a very accomplished athlete.

My difficulties lie in that 1) I’m getting a little older, and 2) I like to eat – not a lot, but I do get caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar more times than it should be in there! The getting older part, I can’t do anything about. But that part is only numbers. I don’t feel the number that I am, and, if truth be told, I am better than those with numbers smaller than or less than mine. It’s just hard to believe that I am over 40! I laugh when I think about that … when did that happen?!? The eating part, I can change. I cannot change that which I do not acknowledge … therefore, let me acknowledge my weakness now.

My name is Row., and I am HUMAN.

I like to eat. Not junk food, per se, but snacking on those which are not that great for an (slowly) aging body. I love bread and pasta. I love pastries – namely Apple Danishes from Toot Sweets, and Cinnamon Sour Cream or Blueberry Muffins. I DON’T eat them everyday, but I lie to myself when I do eat them. I try to tell myself that eating one will not harm me, and it won’t, but I have to work EXTRA hard to work it off, and most times I don’t do the extra work that is necessary. I forget the mantra, “A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.” I understand that I am the only one in control of what goes into my mouth. I cannot lay blame on anyone because no one is forcing me to eat the things that I do. However … there are the occasional sabateurs …. Ha! I won’t blame them either!

It’s a joke to tell yourself that you workout so that you can eat whatever you want. It’s a waste to workout if all you’re going to do is eat crap. If you’re not seeing the changes that you want, or if you’re seeing changes that you don’t want, most likely it’s because your nutrition sucks! Bottom line is, if you eat crap and workout, you’re still going to look like crap! Nutrition is a big part of fitness. We need to remember to eat to live versus living to eat. Fitness alone will NOT solve my “problems.”

So here to day … I acknowledge my weakness and my desire to change this behavior. When I choose to eat badly, I will make up for it in the gym by working out harder or longer. I intend to make better choices because most times it’s just NOT worth the extra effort that must be put out to work it off! Seriously … to “have to” run 2 miles to work off one doughnut … Yeah, no!!! I’d rather do the best that I can to “keep it clean” and out of my mouth! I CAN do it, I know that I CAN!!!

(Reposted from an my old blogsite 12/7/2009)

Dear 14 Year Old Row.

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

*I love this song by P!nk!  It’s amazing, with a  poignant message, and everyone should heed it.   I know that you can’t view this video on my blog, but PLEASE, watch it on YouTube.  It’s worth the time.  Trust me …

Many, many years ago I was 14 years old. I can see myself as if it were yesterday. The geeky girl with no fashion sense. I was a wallflower, so ordinary that I literally blended into the background, never really seeing anything special about myself. Never being one who called attention to myself, I was quiet for the most part until you got to know me. I had a mother who proclaimed me “ugly” and a “mistake.”

Fast forward to today … almost thirty years later … to remember all of this and to write it down brings tears to my eyes. I look in the mirror and try to convince myself that I have since healed that part of my past, but I see my inner 14 year old self and I feel that hurt all over again, reminding me that I’m not yet completely healed. If I could go back and talk to me, I think of all the words that I would love to say. I would like to write a letter now and tell that 14 year old girl all that I know now …
1984 - I was 15 in this picture.Dear 14 Year Old Row.,

Wow. What an amazing young girl you are. You can’t see it yet because you are slightly clouded by everything that’s happening and hurting you at this moment.

First of all, your mother is DEAD WRONG. DON’T believe her, Row. Please, plug your ears, and don’t listen! You are NOT a mistake, maybe unplanned, yes, but not a mistake. You were placed here on this Earth for a reason. You will make a difference in many lives. And as for being ugly … think twice about that. Look closely in the mirror. Look inward and you will see that you are far from being ugly. You WILL transform into a beautiful woman. Trust me on this one.

Study hard in school. Do your homework. You are a very smart girl with so much potential, you just lack direction and guidance. You will find that you are capable of , and so much smarter than you give yourself credit for. You know what you want to do, who you want to be … DO IT. Don’t let people talk you out of it. You’ve always known … your heart has been telling you for years now. Don’t be afraid to go away to college … it’ll be a great adventure. And college is cake!

The children you desire to have are amazing! Oh my God, are they ever beautiful and so amazing. You carry your children within you well, and you are a good mother … so different from your own. Better, stronger, wiser. You are close to your children, and your children trust you. Don’t ever question why you were blessed … just know that you are. Know that you were blessed with them for a very good reason … just know that YOU ARE the BEST mother for them.

Never stop moving. Keep running, cycling, exercising, working out. You will find workouts fuel you. Without it, you are not you. By the way, you look AMAZING in your 40s, than most do in their 20s – just so you know.
 
As for the boys that passed you up … too bad for them. Know that they were NOT the ones for you. There will be many that come and go, that break your heart (and you break some, too) … just know that they are all leading you to the love of your life. You WILL become the woman that will turn heads, and make those boys wish that they hadn’t passed you up. He’s awesome, by the way, your husband. Everything you ever wanted in a man/husband. You are a good wife, and you have a great relationship. Not perfect, but no relationship is ever perfect. 
 
Keep writing. You love writing. Make your lists, write down your dreams, all of your goals and aspirations. Keep sending your friends snail mail. Your words are so impactful, thoughtful, meaningful. Your written words come to life, and people love how you write with feeling and sincerity.
 
Be happy. Life has a tendency to weigh hard on your Libra scales, tipping them off balance at times. Just know that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually you are “balanced” … You ARE stronger than you believe. You bounce back quickly, and get yourself back on track. Ride out the rough patches and believe that all will be well. Always look on the positive side, and watch how you react to things.
 
You ARE beautiful. I know it’s hard to see it now, but you are. Even at 14 you are beautiful, but we’re spending too much time comparing ourselves to people and girls who don’t matter. Yes, they’re beautiful, but so are you! When you believe it, you will see it … you will see YOU and just how gorgeous you are. We are all beautiful in our own way, Baby. We are not meant to look like everyone else. You are beautiful as you, and you only get better. Really.  I’m not kidding …
 
Believe in yourself. You are strong, smart, powerful, capable, beautiful. You ARE. No matter what anyone else tells you, YOU ARE. What they think doesn’t matter, as long as you believe in YOU.  You posess a mental toughness and a tenacity that is to be rivaled.  You are resilient!  You are a very tough cookie! Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t or that you can’t. Your mind is powerful, and I have seen it in action, taking you to places that you have never dared believe. Believe. You have to believe in something whole heartedly first before it can happen. ALWAYS BELIEVE in yourself!!!
 
Love yourself. Really. This is important. YOU matter. You are important; very important. But you have to love yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are loved, even if it’s only by you at that moment. As long as you can look into your own eyes and tell yourself that, you’re good. What everyone else thinks or believes means nothing as long as you have self-love, Baby.
 

Your life is good. You *really* have a very good life. You are happy, healthy, self-sufficient, self-motivated, goal oriented, independent, strong, beautiful, smart, funny … You are a good woman. Really, and you life is very, very good. You are very, very BLESSED!

Oh, Row., had I known all of these things then at 14, we would not have wasted so much time fretting and crying about it … But I know now that every thing, every person, every experience has all brought me to the place where we are at today. We are *exactly* who we are supposed to be, with the people who we are supposed to be with, doing what we are supposed to do … Know that. All of the answers that you seek are inside of you. You already know all of the answers. You already know.

Know that God does not make any mistakes.  You have a purpose.  You have meaning.  You have a reason.  And remember that God answers all prayers – be it yes, no, not yet, or I have something better in store for you.  Trust.

Live life. Have fun. We’re gonna be okay, really. I love you dearly, 14 year old Row. Row. Take care of us. I’ll see you when you get to me … 

Love, Row. at 422011

 

P.S. Don’t worry … you’ll be able to reach the pedals of any car that you choose.  You’ll be able to drive, okay?  Stop worrying about that!

The Power of a GREAT Workout

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

I’ve always known it.  As a child, I loved running, riding my bicycle, climbing, jumping, playing sports, and doing just about anything physical.  It is inbred, ingrained, so natural and deep within me.  My “need” for physical exertion has always … ALWAYS been a huge part of who I am, and of who I have always been. Without that physical exertion, I am not me.  I am lethargic, become depressed, cranky, moody … that person that NO ONE cares to be around.  It is the reason my family lets me do what I need to do … because they know that, “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”

There IS power in a great workout.  I have always known this.  It is as if I am able to purge all of my pain, frustrations, and what-nots out through my pores via my sweat, and through all the grunts and groans of my physical exertion … leaving it all on the floor, so to speak. I am able to transcend while working out. I know … I can see you rolling your eyes now, but it’s true. I’ve done it on more than one occasion … I am able to get myself into such a state, into that zone, where I am there, yet I’m not. I love that. Absolutely LOVE that feeling!

Exercise is my drug of choice.  It is my religion, my sanctuary.  It is my outlet and it fuels me.  I am happiest and most relaxed after a great workout. They say that exercise is for those that cannot handle drugs or alcohol. I believe that wholeheartedly.  I crave the endorphin rush – that is the BEST high, and I wish that everyone loved that kind of healthy high versus highs or the blunting of their emotions and pain obtained via illegal substances or by alcohol.  I believe that the world would be a much better, and a much happier place.

It’s so disheartening to me that so many individuals don’t take the time to get a good workout in.  Thirty minutes is all that it would take.  It saddens me, no, let me be honest, it infuriates me when I hear excuse after excuse as to why one can’t or doesn’t workout.  I don’t understand our society – when did we stop being active?  When did people become so sedentary? Getting older doesn’t mean that you can’t be fit. Having children doesn’t mean that you have stop being active and become a fat mom or dad. It’s the time to be the example for your child!  People are so quick to blame MacDonald’s … Ummm … Hello?  I don’t believe MacDonald’s was physically force feeding anyone! Take responsibility for your own health, people! Face it and get real!  It’s never too late! Never. Small changes made consistently can make BIG differences.

While at my Physical Therapy appointment today, something my therapist had posted on his bulletin board, caught my eye.  I was so inspired by what I read, that I took a photograph of it so that I could remember what it said. In it’s entirety, I have it here for you to peruse.

Written by former NFL Washington Redskins Coach, George Allen, may it motivate and inspire you as it has me.

What Is A Workout?

A workout is 25 percent PERSPIRATION and 75 percent DETERMINATION.  Stated another way, it is one part physical exertion and three parts self-discipline.  Doing it is easy once you get started.

A workout makes you better today than you were yesterday.  It strengthens the body, relaxes the mind, and toughens the spirit.  When you workout regularly, your problems diminish and your confidence grows.

A workout is a personal triumph over laziness and procrastination.  It is the badge of a WINNER — the mark of an organized, goal oriented person who has taken charge of his or her destiny.

A workout is a wise use of time and an INVESTMENT in excellence.  It is a way of preparing for life’s challenges and proving to yourself that you have what it takes to do what is necessary.

A workout is a key that helps unlock the door to OPPORTUNITY and SUCCESS.  Hidden inside each of us is an extraordinary force.  Physical and mental fitness are the triggers that can release it.

A workout is a form of REBIRTH.  When you finish a workout, you don’t simply feel better, YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF!

So … Who’s ready to come workout with Row.??? NO EXCUSES!!! Let’s goooooo …

When Your Heart’s Not In It

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

I hate to admit that lately it seems as if I have been having more days than I care to admit where I don’t “feel it” during my runs. Try as I might, I run, but it’s just not there. What’s not there? My heart.

I know.  I know.  Everyone has days like this, right?   It’s called burnout and it’s normal to feel like this, right? I’m afraid though that the feeling of loving the runs won’t come back. I feel as if it’s just so hard for me to get out there and get’er done. It sucks when running feels more like a a chore than something that I love and enjoy.

I know that I most likely need to take a break from it and find something else for awhile, but the truth is that I have already committed to running several races in the next couple months.  My Coach had to remind me that I’ve been non-stop since last year!  I just don’t think about it, I just do the work.   So far, for 2011,  I am booked thru May and it’s only January! Yikes! I am not one to back down or bow out of scheduled and paid for races so I will finish what I started.

I know that the feeling will eventually pass, or at least I am hoping and praying that it will. This has happened to me before, just not as intense as it has felt lately. I am confident in my abilities – that is not the issue. I know myself and I know that I WILL finish what I start. I know that I will put forth the work that needs to get done in order for me to improve and that will get me to every finish line.

Maybe that’s what it is … That unwillingness to just let go and let things fall as they may. I’m too caught up in the things that have to be done – the speed work, the LSD runs, etc. It’s starting to feel like work and I’m not liking it very much. It just doesn’t feel “fun” lately and I’m trying to remember what it is that I love about running … and I can’t remember.

I just have to find my heart, get my mojo back. I know it’s there lurking close by. It will eventually. I don’t want running to feel like such a chore. I want it to come easily … Like it did when I was a kid, running free and without a care in the world.

So … I send a heartfelt plea out to the Running Gods, to the Goddess Nike, to anyone that will listen. Bring back the kid-like, carefree days of running to me. The days when running was not chore-like, where I could be seen running and giggling at the same time, moving gracefully, and not caring about form or how my foot strikes. The days when sprinting hard made me laugh breathlessly, versus leaving me gasping for breath with lungs on FIRE! The days when not much thought was put into running and I could run for hours because it was “just running.” Maybe then, if I can be brought back to that place, if I could just feel that carefree happiness again … it would make all this “work” seem worthwhile …

– Posted using BlogPress from my RowPhone =]

Bedside Confessionals

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He said to me, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I have been a bad person.”

I answered that he hadn’t been, that it was okay because he was so sick and that I understood.

He repeated, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.  I have not been a good person.  I don’t wanna go like this.”

It took me a minute to determine what he was getting at as I continued to assure him that I understood.  I asked him questions to make sure all of his faculties were intact: Do you know where you are? What’s the date today? Who’s the President of the US? He answered all of the questions correctly, and continued to apologize for being so awful.

“I have never been a good person,” he states. “I tried hard, but it just never felt as if I did enough, or if what I did made a difference. And now here I am, and I don’t think I’m gonna make it.”

It’s amazing how the feeling that you’re dying can cause one to confess.  You don’t care to whom you confess to, just that you get it out before you go.  Although most patients that I have encountered have not passed after confessing, I am sad to say that I have had a few that have.  

I can’t say what exactly goes through one’s mind when they are in such a state that they feel as if they are going to die, or when they feel as if they just know that they are going to die.  I know many who say that they will take certain secrets to their grave, never letting anyone know, but there are few that feel an urgent need to confess and tell someone, anyone who will listen to their deepest, darkest secrets as if keeping them inside will prevent them from getting to the Promised Land.  As a nurse, I have been (un)fortunate to have heard a few. 

From who they loved, or did not love enough.  What they did, to what they should not have done.  What they wish they had said, or didn’t say.  Or just a wish to have their hand held because they are alone and don’t want to go while they are alone.  It makes me wonder … what will you confess when you believe it’s your turn to meet your maker?  Better yet … what will I confess when I believe that it’s my turn … ???

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Telephone Call

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

In my line of work, the telephone is constantly ringing. Constantly. In healthcare, it is inevitable because we must be in constant contact with various departments to keep our department running smoothly. Although, there is a Unit Clerk to answer the phone most of the time, this is not always the case. Those that know me, know that for the most part, I despise talking on the phone. Unfortunately, I cannot let the phone just ring and ring and ring all the while hoping someone else will pick it up and answer it. That would be considered poor customer service and we can’t have that as we actually want our “customers” (i.e. patients) to come back.

It’s busy in my little ER. Busy is an understatement, but it’s manageable. For some reason the night feels “off” kilter. Patients are acting strange, the lobby is full, complaints are weird … So when the phone rings I should know better than to pick it up …

Me: Emergency Department, this is Row.

Surfer Dude Voice On The Other End: Ah. Um. Yeah. Uh. Well, um I got a ride home from my buddies. And, um, they were like hotboxing in the car with the windows rolled all the way up. And. I’m not sure what kind of marijuana it was and I didn’t even want to do it.

Me: Okay. What can I help you with? (Thinking: get to the point already.)

Surfer Dude: Um, yeah, and when I got home, I really had to use the bathroom and when I did, I touched myself there and felt a huge bump.

Me: (In my best “I’m concerned” voice) You felt a bump where?

Surfer Dude: Um, down there. You know, on my testicle. It’s huge and I know it’s from the marijuana smoke.

Me: I’m gonna put you on hold for a moment while I get you a number for the advice nurse.

At this point, I put Surfer Dude on hold I am now laughing uncontrollably and I know I shouldn’t. I know he’s concerned. I know he is a person and deserves to be treated like one. But it’s too funny and he doesn’t know that he has made my night. So I compose myself and continue on …

Me: Sir, the number for our advice nurse is 123-4567. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to give you any advice over the phone (like go have some milk and cookies and call your doctor on Monday).

Surfer Dude: Um. Yeah. Okay. Do you think I’ll be okay?

Me: I know you’ll be okay. Call the advice nurse and if you really think that you need to be seen in the ER, we will be happy to help you.

Surfer Dude: Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to tighten my filter at work and could just say what I *really* feel and think. The conversation would have been a little more interesting. This dude seriously made my crazy night a little better though.

Surfer Dude, whoever you are, get better, get rides home from people who aren’t trying to get stoned, pick “clean” partners, and thank you for the laugh. I needed that!

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010 Goal Attained and Expectations Exceeded

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment
1/1/10 Our first run of 2010 - Resolutions Run, Auburn, CA

In all honesty, for Mac and I, it started as a goal to join Half Fanatics.  We had run a half together last August 2009, and we were virtually training together, keeping each other in check, sharing our training schedules, websites, what worked for us, etc.  We were sitting and chatting via FaceBook one night bouncing ideas off each other when I casually blurted out that we needed to join Half Fanatics, and I asked if she thought that we could do it?  Three halfs in three months … was this something possible for us?  Oh yeah, we decided that it was, and began planning and came up with our the three half marathons that we would run.  In the midst of all this planning, I’m not sure exactly who’s idea it was (I believe that it was Mac’s), we decided why just three, why not make it a half EVERY month?  And so there you have it … the seed was planted, and we went to work plotting out the logistics and calculating costs.  Here is the list of what we came up with and ran for 2010:

For January we decided to run the Auburn Resolutions Run on January 1st – to start our year off right!  It was not a half because we only ran 10 miles, but it was a great start our year.

Feb 2010 - Kaiser Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA.

February – The Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon in San Francisco, CA.

March - Shamrock n' Half, Sacramento, CA.

March – Shamrock N’ Half Marathon, Sacramento, CA.

Artichoke Half, Pescadero, CA. April 2010.

April – The Tsunami Half Artichoke Half Marathon, Pescadero, CA.

American River Parkway Half, Sacramento, CA. May 2010.

May – American River Parkway Half Marathon, Sacramento, CA.

See Jane Run, Alameda, CA. June 2010,

June – See Jane Run, Alameda, CA.

Our first tutu run - Hernia Hills, July 2010.

July – The Half From Hell Hernia Hills Half Marathon, Vallecito, CA.

Modesto Midnight, August 2010.

August – Modesto Midnight Half Marathon, Modesto, CA.

Fall Showdown, Sept. 2010.

September – Wolf Pack Events, Fall Showdown, SanPablo, CA.  This was our very first trail run and we absolutely LOVED it!!!

October – Nike Womens Marathon, San Francisco, CA.  We actually wanted this to be our FULL marathon, but for Mac, injury took it down to a half for her, while I ran the full.

Dirty Girls ...

October – Merrill Down and Dirty Mud Run, Folsom, CA.  This was not a half, rather a 10K trail run with obstacles.  It was something that we did together!

Mile 9 of Stockton's Inaugural Half.

November – Inaugural Stockton Half Marathon, Stockton, CA.

December – C.I.M. Relay Challenge, Sacramento, CA.  We were Team MiniRow and The MACHine.  Mac ran legs 1 and 2, while I ran legs 3 and 4!

We could not believe that we were actually crazy enough to set this goal, let alone achieve it.  Yet here we are … still standing … and smiling.  We both had our share of injuries, and frustrations, yet we both gutted it all out, ran thru whatever aches and pains we were experiencing, and did it.  We know that others run full marathons or half marathons EVERY week.  Our goal pales in comparison, yet it’s large for us because here we are:  Full-time Health Care workers, wives, and mothers.  We have actual lives.  Running is not our lives, it is a big part of our lives, but we don’t let it run our lives.  Taking the time out to train, then to actually run the races was big for us.

Training was done mostly on our own as we both live about a good 1.5 hours away from each other.  Although we both had people we could run with, we learned quickly that these individuals were not always reliable, so most of our running was alone.   Keeping track of each other was done by mostly by text and Facebook.  This was a must to keep each other motivated.  We could tell when one was waning and needed a fire lit underneath (mostly me, I am not ashamed to admit, as Mac is very self-motivated).  We were very good about holding each other accountable.  We shared tips.  We shared websites.  Recommended nutrition – Gu vs. Gels, etc.  We included our husbands in races when possible.  When one of us was down, the other would motivate and prod gently.  But we ALWAYS had fun.  ALWAYS!  We knew that if the time came that it was no longer fun, then we would reconsider.  We NEVER reconsidered.  We took breaks when we needed them, but jumped back on the band wagon quickly as the “need” to run was never that far away.

All in all, I have to say that it has been a very good year for MiniRow and The MACHine!  2010 was a great year for running for both of us as we hit some pretty high mileage months during training.  We learned much about resting when we need to because injuries suck.  We have both spent time in Physical Therapy.  We have spent countless dollars on race fees, race gear, shoes, outfits, food, hotels, insurance co-pays, etc.,   However, we would not trade it in for anything.  Through it all we have bonded and developed a great friendship.  Our ending to our 2010 season could not have ended any better than by the two of us being chosen and receiving Inaugural Endorphin Dudette Status!!!  (Read about that here.)

To our families – thank you for allowing us the time to train; for putting up with our antsy-ness when we really needed to get out there and run it out; for allowing us to use our hard earned money to pay for race fees, buy expensive shoes, outfits, gadgets, gear, and what-nots.  Thank you for allowing us to take the time (away from you) to run races all over Northern California.  Thank you for watching the kiddos.

To our friends:  Thank you for putting up with us.  For listening to our stories and shop talk of running.  For encouraging us, and for reminding us that there is life outside of our insane madness to run.  Thank you for running with us when possible.

If only others could be so lucky as to find their ideal running mate.  I know that I could not have asked or have been blessed with a better one!  I look forward to an even better 2011 Running Season.

Mac, thank you from the bottom of my heart for being not only my running partner, but my friend, my confidant, my cheerleader, my pace-setter, my Co-Endorphin Dudette!  I love you, Mac!  See you in 2011!

Our last run of 2010 - CIM Relay Challenge, Sacramento, CA. Also sportin' our Endorphin Dudette status headbands!!!

Endorphin Dudette Status

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Endorphin Dude is a persona created by our FaceBook friend, Tony Nguyen.  He tells the story that in 2009 on April Fool’s Day, he believed that he was having what he thought was a heart attack, and quickly decided then to make some serious life changes, one of which included walking, which eventually led to running.  He dubbed himself Endorphin Dude because he says that when he runs, he “feels like a superhero!”

Tony is a Half-Fanatic, and a Marathon Maniac.  I cannot count the number of 5Ks, 10Ks, half-marathons, or full marathons Tony has participated and run in.  Just know that it is an outrageous amount.  It is an amount that Mac and I are envious of because we always long to run in so many more races than we do.

We became friends with Tony via FaceBook in early summer when he befriended Mac as he saw that she was also a Half-Fanatic.  We followed him, exchanged banter, motivated each other, and are slowly getting to know him as time passes.  We have been trying to find a race that we can meet Tony in real life (IRL), however we have not yet had the opportunity or pleasure to do so.

In mid-November, Mac and I were contacted by Tony via FaceBook email, in which he wrote the following:

“I created the Endorphin Dude persona because I want to show people that running a marathon or a half marathon is fun! I am very proud that I have inspired many people to get out there and make healthy changes in their lives, and now I want to conquer the world! I am expanding the Endorphin Dude Empire. I am introducing Endorphin Dudettes. Every month, I will feature a powerful endorphin-filled dudette to spread the word fitness, fun, positivity. The Endorphin Dudette will respresent the Endorphin Empire at a race in which Endorphin Dude will not be running. For the month of December, I would really like you two to be my E-Dudettes. You two will be the first! If you’re up for it, let me know. I have pink head bands for you. I would love to see you sport them at CIM while I’m in Vegas!”

Needless to say, Mac and I were bothe very thrilled and honored to have been chosen FIRST by Tony, out of all of the other runner friends that he has IRL and on FaceBook, many of which he has known for quite some time.  Longer than the two of us.  We were both “IN,” of course.  Inaugural Endorphin Dudettes?  Oh, hell yeah!  We have admired Endorphin Dude from the get go – his love and passion for our sport of running, his infectious smile, his boundless energy, and his cape and headband!  Endorphin Dude emboides the sport and encourages others to “join the revolution.”

We were to make our inaugural appearance as Endorphin Dudettes at the California International Marathon (CIM), where Mac and I would run the relay as a team of 2.  We dubbed ourselves Team MiniRow and The MACHine.  Tony sent out our headbands with instructions to keep quiet until his official announcement after our race.  On race day, Mac and I dressed and wore our Endorphin Dudette headbands with pride.  Everyone at CIM could see our pink headbands as we ran through the streets of Sacramento!

At times we wondered why we were chosen ad the very first Endorphin Dudettes.  The answer came shortly as we read the caption to our picture which was posted on the Endorphin Dude FaceBook Fan Page: 

“So many beautiful dudettes applied for December that I ended up choosing more than one incredible super woman to represent the Endorphin Empire! Please meet Row.Wallen and Machelle Crist Donahoo. These two definitely exemplify the true essence of the Endorphin Dudette. I love that they run together and finish together. Their enthusiam and love for the sport makes me want to put on my Mizunos and run a marathon! Congratulations Row and Machelle on your CIM finishes. You two ROCK!”

What an honor to have been chosen first!!!  You can imagine how proud Mac and I were for Tony to have done this for us.  Mac and I also run for the love of the sport.  True, it keeps us in great shape, but to be honest we run because we love it.  We encourage our friends to run.  We do our best to motivate others in our sport.  Most importantly, we run because it’s fun.  It keeps us happy and sane, and looking HOT! 

Thank you, Tony – Endorphin Dude, for gracing us with this honor!  We will forever embody the spirit of Endorphin Dudette and keep it alive within us! 

You can read more about Tony Nguyen and Endorphin Dude by clicking the above link.  Endorphin Dude also has a blog, which you can read here.

Me? Inspiring? Really?

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment
Run RowRow Run

As defined by Dictionary.com, Inspiring is a verb that means:  To fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence.  To influence or impel.  To produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.).

I have never really considered or seen myself as an inspiring individual.  I look in the mirror and I see someone who’s “plain” and “average.”  Not really two words that would describe someone who is inspiring, so it seems a little puzzling to me that so many would see me as “inspiring.”  When I hear people tell me this, I have to look a little harder in the mirror to attempt to see what they see that I have such difficulty seeing.  Hearing it makes me so uncomfortable.

It would be different if it was just one individual who said something, but when it’s several, I really have to stop and wonder, “What is it that makes ME, average, Plain Jane Row., inspiring?  Are they serious?”

When I told to my friend, Suzanne, that I was frustrated with my less than stellar performance at NWM, she was quick to remind me that, “Not only did you run for the third year in a row, but you motivated me, my sister Judy and Cory to start running as well.  That’s quite an accomplishment.  You are our rock, stop beating yourself up.”  I was so blown away and floored by her comment that I cried!  (I never cry.)  It was that powerful.  Up until that very moment,  I did not realize that I had that much of an impact of anyone.

Then I started thinking.  Then I *really* began listening … and I heard  …

“I wish I had your motivation, Row Row!” From my friend Mandy S.

“You are my idol,” says my friend Kelly S.

“If you stop running, I will be sad because I will never get to run with you. Plus you are a rockstar!!!” This is from my friend Victoria.

“Row, you have no idea that you are the one that motivated me to start running again.  Meanwhile, 11 lbs lighter? I’m feeling great! Thanks. YOU made me make myself better.”  This is from my friend Mikey M., who trains in Krav Maga with me, and works out with me at the dojo we belong to.

My friend and my FAVORITE trainer, Scott, calls me, “Badass!”

My friend, Janice, told me that she loves my FaceBook pics because she said that, “Your pics embody the picture of fitness and happiness.  It’s a great mix!”

Melissa, an old co-worker, was feeling out of sorts.  I had inspired her to run and even purchase a bike, but life got in the way and she fell off the band wagon.  When I saw her at C.I.M., she told me that our friend Cory looked awesome and that she was jealous because she knew, “It’s all you, Row.  Your enthusiasm for running and working out rubs off on everyone.  You do that to people.”

Memri, one of my old workout buddies, called me out of the blue one afternoon and told me that she wants ME to help her train for a half marathon.  Me.  She told me that I was the only one she knew who was consistent and that would actually help her.

And my beautiful friend, Cory, she told me yesterday that she is ready to run a FULL marathon and asked if I would train with her!  What?  Yep … so we are planning to run CIM next year!  Wow!

There’s more out there, and every one of them makes me feel good, they make me feel proud, and I smile.  I never

Age Group WINNER!!! Wolf Pack Events - Fall Showdown Half 2010.

knew that I needed to hear these things about me.   The thing is, though, is that I am not anyone special, so far from extraordinary.  I am your average, everyday woman.  I am a mother, wife, Registered Nurse, runner, gym rat.  I have not discovered the cure for some God awful disease.  I have a tendency to be whiny, needy, bitchy, moody.   I have not won any awards for being the fastest.  Oh, wait, I take that back … I have won a race for my age group once and that was truly a great feeling!  But otherwise I don’t see myself as anything special.  I am just someone doing what I love.  I work hard, and I play hard.

When I hear people tell me that I have motivated or inspired them, it makes me feel proud that I was able to do that for them.  I believe that life and some of the things that we do are difficult and that we could all use a little help to get through and to work a little harder, move a little faster, etc.  I’m the obnoxious one in cardio or spin class that will yell out a little motivation from across the room.  I do it for my kids when they’re out on the baseball field – just to wake them up a little, or to get them to refocus.  What happens is that I only tell people what I would want to hear for myself:  “Focus!”  “You can do it.”   “You’re doing a great job.” “You’re lookin’ good.”  “You’re awesome.”  “Com’mon, you got this.”  “Come run with me.”  “Dig deep.”  “Breathe it out.”  Whatever it takes to keep someone going, I will do my best to get them to come with me because I know how it feels, and because it helps me get through it also.    To be honest, hearing that I have done something to help another makes me want to do it more often, and it makes me want to work harder.   It’s nice to know that people notice and pay attention.  It’s nice to know that I can make people feel good about themselves.   I do my best to see the good, positive side of everything and every person.  I believe that we can get thru things better when we have someone beside us rooting for us, and helping us along the way.

I have always believed that I just do what I love, and I want others to do the same.  It’s amazing that by just me, being me I have been able to light a spark in someone.  I will continue to do so – to yell out motivation to anyone and everyone.  Why?  Because I know what it feels like to need a lift.  Because it is a very AMAZING feeling to see a poster with your name on it, while the person who made it cheers you and shouts encouragement as you run past!  Because I know what it feels like to feel as if you can’t do one more push-up/jump squat/burpee/mile or whatever, then I hear someone tell me that I can … and all of a sudden I CAN do MORE than I ever believed that I could at that moment.  Because my Coach @speedysasquatch reminds me that, “I CAN!”  Because as I have said, I believe that paying it forward not only helps that who I am trying to help, but it helps me, too, and God knows that we could all use a little help from each other!  Oh … and it makes me feel a little bit like a superhero in disguise … MiniRowRow  in stealth mode – sans cape and cool colorful spandex clothing!

My Signature "Shaka" @ CIM Relay!

We CAN do this.  Together we can get through whatever it is we are trying to get through!  I will do whatever I can to help you, to remind you that, “You’ve. Got. This!”  Let’s goooooo … !!!