Month: September 2010

Keeping My Head Screwed On Straight

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had a lot of realizations.  Well, that’s partly true … what I’ve really had were wake up calls.  Realizations, wake up calls, same thing.  My head hasn’t been screwed on straight – it’s been bobbling and at times hanging on by a mere thread.  That’s crazy, because I keep thinking that if I could just run like a chicken with its head cut off, then there would really be no problem.

I think too much … that is my problem.  I’ve been told by my husband, and countless people that I just think too much.  Things that should be easy and mundane, I end up over-thinking and screwing it all up!  I’m one of those people who are wound up pretty tight ’cause I get myself all worked up over nothing.  I sit here and try to control everything, when in reality, I can’t because it’s impossible.  And some days, with all that’s floating in my head, I can’t think … because I can’t focus … because I’m worried about too many things!

I try … I really try to just let go … but even so, I still have some hold of the reins just not so tightly.  Truth be told, it’s when I’m not thinking that things work out best, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, I don’t remember.  I forget and worry myself to death.

As my marathon training comes to a close (kind of, I’ll still be training, just not for a marathon) and the actual marathon comes to reality, my thoughts jump from one thing to another.   I wonder if the goals and expectations that I set for myself are too high.  I worry that I won’t finish in a “decent” time.  I think that I’ll look “slow” to everyone.  I wonder why I even signed up for another marathon.  I ask my self, “What am I trying to prove?”  I worry about injuries, dehydration, nutrition.  Did I put enough miles in?  Did I train enough?  Will my shoes and inserts fail me?  All these swirling questions, making me dizzy, driving me crazy!!!  If I ever needed a Calgon moment, it’s now!

I have been working frantically to get my head screwed on straight, using every kind of screw, nail, brace, and glue to do so.   I’ve been mostly worried about looking stupid and making a fool out of myself, when what I should be doing is praising myself and giving myself lots of props for even having the courage to run a marathon.  I am reminded that the race is not against others, the “real” race is within myself.  I am only racing against myself.   There are only a handful of people who truly care, and everyone else could care less about how I do, or how fast I finish.  At the end of the race, I will receive the very same medal that all of the other finishers receive. 

I know that I’m not the only one out there worrying and making a mountain out of a molehill.  I’ve come so far, and I have trained and worked so hard.  In my head, I know that I can do this.  In my heart, I believe that it’s possible.  But right now those moments are fickle – they come, stay for awhile, then they disappear, then I panic, calm myself down, and start all over.  I feel almost bipolar, riding an emotional roller coaster!  Aaaagggh!  For now, I sit tight, meditate, take some deep breaths and just believe … I breathe in faith, and exhale fear …

I am thankful to the individuals who have taken the time out to listen to me whine, and help me to set my head straight.  My hubby who listens to me as I allow the craziest of thoughts to escape from my mouth, who assures me that I’m going to be okay, and who believes in me wholeheartedly.   I’m thankful to my Coach @speedysasquatch who reminds me that he can help me expose my running talent, who gives me my plan and holds me accountable for my training.  My Twitter posse  and my running peeps who help keep me reeled in, and help squash the self-doubt, and help me to see ME! 

Two and half weeks left … one last long run, then it’s taper time …

Priceless

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

Running … It’s supposed to be “free,” right?  You’d think it would at least be cheap or inexpensive, but in reality it’s not.

If you just get out and run, just run, then, yes, it’s free.  You don’t worry about anything … you just get out there or jump on a treadmill and go.  But once there’s an inkling that you want to get serious, this is where things can get a little pricey.  Let’s see …

Good shoes, not just any old pair of shoes that you can pick up at the local department or sporting goods store.   You have to remember that your feet take the bulk of the pounding and stress when you are run running.  They deserve protection.  They deserve to have some good money spent on them.  Spend the time to get your gait analyzed so you know which shoe is best for you.  Try them all on and make sure they’re comfortable.  And when you find that perfect pair, getting a second pair is suggested when you’re really putting the mileage in.

Inserts are necessary for some runners like me who have issue with their feet such as plantar fascitis.  Sometimes, the inexpensive inserts will work well, but with the mileage that I put in and the degree of my injury, the inexpensive inserts were not the best choice for me.  Inserts can range in price, and must be researched well in order to find the perfect fit just as shoes.

Running attire – sure, running really doesn’t call for special attire if you’re just going out for a jog, but if you’re a serious runner, you know then that cotton is rotten, and some articles of clothing don’t make the best running attire.  Take into consideration the weather, sweat factor.  Dri fit is not cheap.  When it’s raining, you need a jacket.  Hats for sun and protection.  Special socks that don’t cause blisters.  Sports bras that hold boobs into place and provide support.  Shorts for the summer.  Capris or long tights for the cooler weather.  Compression socks for recovery.  Compression gear for maximum performance.

Body Glide to help prevent chafing.  Sunblock for obvious reasons.  Lip balm.  Tape for muscles, like my favorite RockTape.

Special GPS watches – if you’re serious about tracking your runs.  Maybe a heart rate monitor.

Gym memberships for those that don’t have access to a treadmill, and for workouts that need to be done aside from just running.

iPods to provide you with music for your run.  Don’t forget headphones – may they be wireless or corded, finding the right ones can prove to be a challenge.

Nutrition – not just what you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  But actual nutrition for your run – Gu, Power Gels, Gatorade, Powerade, protein shakes, and whatever else you may want to eat while you’re out there for hours at a time. Remember that as an athlete, you must fuel your body with good nutrition for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks.  Supplements may be required to assist in meeting our nutritional goals.

Doctors and Chiropractors that keep us healthy and able to run.  They can be costly, but so worth it.  Massage Therapists or a masseuss to knead the kinks out and keep our muscles supple.  Foam rollers, ice packs, muscle rubs, ace wraps … don’t forget to add those in.  Unfortunately, for some, physical therapy is needed to aid in recovery from serious injuries.

Books and magazines to learn about your sport.  Library is cheap and free, and so are articles on the internet.

Race fees – once you get serious, it’s good to have a goal and signing up for a race is a good way to keep on track by training for your goal.  Remember to factor in the cost of travel and sometimes lodging to run these races.

Coaching and training plans for those of us who need to be directed and guided, and kept accountable.

Ah … so many things to consider.  It’s such a great sport and it’s all worth it.  When it comes right down to it, it’s all worth the monetary cost that I put into it.  But the payment is more than just monetary … the payment comes in the form of the time that is paid when putting in training, the blood, sweat, and tears!  I know that there is more to it than just lacing up a pair of shoes and going out running …  All this, to me, is worth it.  I am thankful and blessed to be able to afford what I can.  I believe that what I get out of the sport far exceeds any monetary cost that I must pay.  There is so much that a monetary value cannot be placed.  The friendships that I have made.  The feeling of accomplishment that I get from completing a race.  All of it is priceless …

Pennies From Heaven

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

It never fails.  Everyday when I set out to leave on an outdoor run, my daughter says to me, “Mom, remember to pick up the pennies that see for me.”  I never think anything about it.  I just smile, and tell her that, “If I find any, I will.”  And that’s that … she kisses me goodbye and I’m off and running.

Ever since I was a small child, I’ve been intrigued by money.  I’ve always been a saver, and to this day, I have several jars and piggy banks filled with coins and even dollar bills.  It’s just by habit now that I empty out all of my pockets and that of my husband’s and put everything in a jar.  My dollar bills all face the same way in my wallet, and I always pick up any amount that I find on the ground.  It’s a habit that has yielded me quite a large sum!  It’s a habit that I learned from my father, and have now passed onto my own child.

I cannot help but smile when I find a coin and pick it up.  I can hear her call out, “Money magnet, Mom!”   So I diligently keep an eye out for those coins, and happily hand them over as she comes toward me when I walk through the door after a run.  To some they are just mere bothersome little pennies, but to us they’re lucky pennies.  Pennies that we feel are given to us from Heaven.

“Imagine,” my oldest son once said to me, “that if you didn’t pick up that penny.  What would happen if you only needed that one penny to be a millionaire, but you didn’t pick it up.  You would only have $999,999.99.  You will have wished that you would have picked it up.”

The little things that make one happy, that eventually add up and make one feel rich.  Never discount the power of the penny.

The Mileage Gets Longer and L O N G E R

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Marathon training isn’t easy.  It begins with a crazy idea to run a marathon that eventually takes on a life of it’s own once that decision is made and the race is chosen.  One has to find training plan, and stick to that plan.  It takes dedication and requires a lot of hard work which includes payment in the form of blood, sweat, and tears.  It is challenging physically, but EXTREMELY challenging mentally … because it’s more than just running.  Anyone can say that they could run a marathon, but will they actually make it to the finish?

Although I have been a runner for many years, it is only in the last few years that I have become a “serious” runner.   I joke that I am in constant, perpetual training as 2010 is the year that the most mileage has been hit every month.   With a half-marathon every month, there is no room for slacking off.  Put the mileage in and get the work done.

As I really have NO clue as to how to properly train for a marathon, in February, I began researching the option of getting a coach.  It’s one thing to download a plan and follow it.  It’s another to have a real, live coach giving me actual direction.  I found a few, sent out a couple emails, and choose one which I thought was a good fit.   My requirements were direct and to the point:  1. My training plans have to work around my life and my schedule; 2. I need someone to hold me accountable; 3. I need someone to engage me; and 4. I prefer not to have my training plans given to me all at one time.  Easy, right?  Apparently, too easy.  In June, my coach sent me my training plans for my NWM training up until the day of the marathon!  Noooo!  I can’t have plans like that.  First off, I have a somewhat confusing working schedule.  And secondly, as I perused the *entire* schedule, it caused me to panic as anxiety and self-doubt set in!!!  As if that were not bad enough, I don’t hear from my coach again.  I saw him online a couple times, and I sent him a message that said, “Say, ‘Hi, Row., how is your training?'”  So he asks.  I shouldn’t have to ask.  You are my coach … you should be on me everyday!!!

Ah … but that’s old news already.   I have a new coach.  I have a better coach who gives me a weekly plan, is accessible, answers my questions, quells my fears, helps squash my self doubt, but best of all, holds me accountable for my workouts.  I like my new coach.  it’s only been a month, and I can see that I have improved tremendously since signing on.  However, the mileage is getting longer … and L O N G E R …

Duh, Row.!!!  You are training for a marathon!  It is expected that the mileage will get longer, but thinking about it makes me queasy and puts me in a state of discombobulation as my mind spins in circles trying to wrap my head around the idea.  It’s crazy because I know that I can run a marathon.  At this point there are 6 weeks left until NWM!!!  SIX! I have to get the mileage in.  I need to get the mileage in.  I have NO excuses.  If I want to do well, if I want to improve … and I DO … then I have to suck it up and do the work.

So I run.  I follow the instructions and the plan, and I run.  Intervals, tempo, mile repeats, long runs, hills.  As the mileage increases, so does my need to find the time to run for hours, as well as my need for good, restful sleep, and intake of extra calories.  It took me awhile to figure this out as I often found myself exhausted, or in the middle of a hypoglycemic episode at the *wrong* time!

I have been working hard at getting more sleep in … but it’s a little difficult as I am a true nocturnal being.  I work at night, and sleep during the day.  Makes for a weird training schedule as I don’t have “normal” hours.  Some nights when I know that I should be sleeping, I’m not.  Instead, I’m messin’ around on the computer – Facebook or Twitter are the two places that I troll around and lurk the most.  Either that or I’m trying to catch up on housework, or whatever else needs to be done.  It’s so hard for me to just “turn off” and go to sleep.

Eating has been a challenge as well.  I’ve had a few hypogylcemic episodes because of this lack of intake – once was at work, as I was rendering patient care.  I know I freaked that patient out as I turned pale, began sweating profusely, and damned near DFO’d (done fell out)!  In my head, I know that I need to eat.  I know that I need extra calories.  I have to remember to feed myself.  When I don’t do it correctly, I tend to eat all the “wrong” things.  I need to get this right more than any other part of my training.  This has been the most difficult to correct.  I need to learn about slow burning carbs – but I despise oatmeal’s texture.  Gah!  In the meantime, I eat, albeit it’s more like force-feeding myself, and I gag the entire time!  I have been told that I am “fueling an athlete’s body.”  Therefore, I should feed it right!  I know, I know!

I countdown, and I panic at times as I realize that time is moving so quickly towards the day of the marathon … when I know that I shouldn’t.  In my mind, I know that I have time.   My Coach reels me back down to reality …  Focus on the now … Focus on the now … No countdowns.  Just focus on what’s happening now … day by day.  Look no further than what’s at hand.  I will eventually get to “D” day, but for today, I will get the work done, and look no further than what’s on my schedule for today.

37 days left … Time to go get the work done, put the mileage in, ’cause these miles ain’t gonna run by themselves!!!  See you at the finish line!

Giving Thanks

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

I am not sure that I could possibly thank everyone or everything that has gotten me to this point in my running endeavors, however, I will do the best that I can to give as much thanks for all that I have received.

I am thankful for my friends who run with me – be it virtually via Twitter or FaceBook, or beside me in real life.  My friends cheer me on, motivate me, and pick me up when I’ve had a bad run or a bad day.  They make suggestions, answer my questions,  listen to my whining, and remind me that I CAN do this, that I GOT this!  For those who run with me in real life – thank you for trusting me and allowing me to run with you.  I will always do the best that I can to motivate and inspire you, and I would never leave you behind.  I am thankful for the time that we can spend together as we run.

I have to give a special “Thank You” shout out to my running buddy, Mac (a.k.a. The MACHine) Donahoo.  We just celebrated our one year Runniversary.  In 2010 we have run a race together every month.  She is the Laverne to my Shirley.  She amuses me.  She is “real.”  She is an awesome runner who also happens to be a good wife, mother, friend, RT.  She never lets me get down on myself.  We live 1.5 hours apart, and train virtually together, but every month we get together and crank out a Half.

I am thankful for my Coach, SpeedySasquatch.  Before I even signed on, he answered my silly questions and gave me various suggestions on running.  He welcomed me into his team.  He is patient with me as I doubt myself, and reminds me that “it’s” inside of me and that he will bring out the Bad Ass Runner that he knows dwells in the depths of my being (why don’t I know that its there?).   I trust the training as I have watched myself transform and improve in the short amount of time that I have been training under him.  He is always encouraging, and never lets me get down on myself.  I am a believer.  He is worth every cent that I pay him.  I am so grateful that Ali (@alitherunner), Linda (@MsV1959), and Shannon (@hendy2) suggested him!  He ROCKS!

Much mahalo (“Thank you” in Hawaiian) goes out to my friends from Aliamanu Intermediate, and Radford High School where I first learned about comraderie and team work.  Mahalo to my first real coach Thomas Chun – I have fond memories of him following us in his mustard colored Toyota as we ran our long distances.

I am thankful to my Chiropractor, Dr. Brian Crawford, who keeps my body in alignment.  I love the way it sounds when my spine clicks into place from C1 all the way down to my sacrum as I am manually adjusted.  Most people don’t care for manual adjustments and avoid the Chiropractor for that reason.  I run to my Chiropractor for this reason!!!

I am thankful to God for blessing me with a healthy body that is able to withstand and endure the “beatings” that I bestow upon it … I believe that it is amazing to be as “old” as I am, and to be able to still run, jump, punch, lift, push, pull, bend … to have NO health issues, and I have remained healthy, strong, and fit …  My body is one that has carried and delivered four healthy babies, has run thousands of miles, and at times has felt as if it has been put thru the wringer!  It is because I can still do all of these things, but more importantly because I can get up in the mornings that  I cannot complain.  I will not complain.

And last, but not least as this is the most important, I am thankful for my husband and family.  They are my rocks.  My hubby allows me to train as I need to.  He shoulders the brunt of the household duties that I let slide,  nurses me when I’m injured, has learned the art of taping, maps out running routes for me, rides alongside of me on my training runs, buys me gadgets, brings me to all of my races, sometimes also running in the shorter distance race … all without complaint.  My boys have accompanied me on my runs – sometimes on bike, sometimes by skateboard.  I have yet to get them to actually run beside me, but I’m slowly getting there.  They have endured my crankiness as I lose hours of sleep to get out there and run.  They know what I need to get out the door.  They tag along with me to races and most times they’re all there at the finish line waiting for me.  I have the best family ever, and I am truly blessed!!!

I lead a very blessed life, and I am truly thankful.