As a marathon runner, I have read about it over and over, but never quite understood what it was, what it meant, until I hit it myself. I’m talking about the Proverbial Wall.

I didn’t know what to expect the first time I ran a marathon because, for one, I didn’t train properly at all; and secondly, I thought I could just run. I mean, it’s “only” 26.2 miles, right? Yeah, right!

In endurance sports, particularly cycling and running, hitting the wall or the bonk describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by precipitous fatigue and loss of energy. – Wikipedia.

You’re tired. You struggle. You question yourself. You want to quit. The first time it happened to me at mile 20. I. Wanted. To. Die. But I pressed forward taking in some nutrition, knowing that the end was close, yet so far away. I knew I could do it. I knew I would finish.

But what about in real life? What do we do when we hit that wall? What can we do? What “nutrition” can we take in to overcome life’s difficulties? It seems all too easy in life to just walk away from it when there seems to be no end in sight.

It shouldn’t be so easy to just quit at anything started. I’ve always told my kiddos that if they want to start something (baseball, karate, a project), they need to see it until the end. If you put the time and effort into something, it deserves a fighting chance to be completed.

I’ve seen relationships end, jobs quit, college courses dropped … All because of the belief that it was “too hard!” Seriously? WTF? Life IS hard. Life was NOT meant to be so easy that we could just skate on by and come out unscathed. Too many times though, I’ve seen things pushed to the wayside because it wasn’t worth the time, or the effort, or it was just out of their comfort zone and one didn’t like the feeling of discomfort that it illicited within them, and I wondered, “Why?” Why didn’t they stick it out? Why wasn’t (s)he, or why wasn’t it worth the time or effort when they had already invested so much into them/it?

Then I started to watch. I watched parents do the homework for their children, when these children should be doing their own homework. I watched parents bribe their children to do things that should be done without needing bribery. I watched as parents rewarded children for negative behavior. Why is this important? Who cares about how these children are being raised? I mean, after all, they’re not our children, right? True, they are not our own children, but they are children who have grown into adults, and we are encountering them now. These are children that our own children will have to or are already dealing with.

What’s the point? The point is, and I do have one, is that these kids grow up to be individuals that expect things to be easy, and handed to them and when it’s not they throw a tantrum or just quit altogether. No parent wants their child to be hurt or uncomfortable. We can’t be there every time they fall to pick them up. We can’t wrap them in bubble wrap. We CAN, however, help them to help themselves. I’m NOT saying don’t pick them up and dust them off when they fall, or leave them out there to fend for themselves. Rather, when you do, point out that they’re okay as you do so so they can see and feel that they are. Let them cry, but talk to them and urge them to get up and keep moving once bandaged up. Sit with them as they as they struggle with their homework, but don’t take command. They need to figure out how to work out their math problems, or write that English paper. Be there to offer suggestions, proofread, and to correct. What? They don’t want to take their medicine, or do their chores? By offering them a new toy or payment if they do creates the expectation that every time they need to do something uncomfortable they should be rewarded for doing so. This is how we “train” and “feed” our kids the necessary “nutrition” to make it through the walls they may encounter throughout life.

I’m far from being a perfect parent. I run my household as a drill sergeant runs his recruits. I love my kids more than anything, and my job as a parent is to prepare them for life. I need to train them to move onward once they hit a wall. I need to be there to provide the nutrition they need to get past the feeling of wanting to give up, so that they can one day do it for themselves. I will know that I have succeeded in my job as a parent when my kids are able to care for themselves (and others when they have their own families) when they are away from me. I will continue to provide the necessary nutrition and guidance so that they make it to that finish line, any finish line – whatever it may be. So I watch them, encourage them, and I nudge them out of the nest. I watch as they open their wings, stretch them out and attempt to fly … I believe that they can do it, but it’s my job to make sure that they believe that they can.

**  Note:  My kids are FAR from “perfect.”  They have their issues also, but for the most part they are well adjusted, well behaved, fun, smart, beautiful kids.  I have a great husband who has helped me raise them, and truth be told, he is the driving force behind their greatness.  I know that my kiddos will fare well in this world, and I am so very thankful that they are mine, and that I was given the honor and privilege to be their mother.

What kind of nutrition are you feeding your kids? Are they getting the right kind of training? Will they be able to conquer their walls?

– Posted using BlogPress from my RowPhone =]

Go towards your fears and they will disappear. Run from them and they will get bigger.

The choice is yours. Which way will you go?

– Posted using BlogPress from my RowPhone =]

In my line of work, the telephone is constantly ringing. Constantly. In healthcare, it is inevitable because we must be in constant contact with various departments to keep our department running smoothly. Although, there is a Unit Clerk to answer the phone most of the time, this is not always the case. Those that know me, know that for the most part, I despise talking on the phone. Unfortunately, I cannot let the phone just ring and ring and ring all the while hoping someone else will pick it up and answer it. That would be considered poor customer service and we can’t have that as we actually want our “customers” (i.e. patients) to come back.

It’s busy in my little ER. Busy is an understatement, but it’s manageable. For some reason the night feels “off” kilter. Patients are acting strange, the lobby is full, complaints are weird … So when the phone rings I should know better than to pick it up …

Me: Emergency Department, this is Row.

Surfer Dude Voice On The Other End: Ah. Um. Yeah. Uh. Well, um I got a ride home from my buddies. And, um, they were like hotboxing in the car with the windows rolled all the way up. And. I’m not sure what kind of marijuana it was and I didn’t even want to do it.

Me: Okay. What can I help you with? (Thinking: get to the point already.)

Surfer Dude: Um, yeah, and when I got home, I really had to use the bathroom and when I did, I touched myself there and felt a huge bump.

Me: (In my best “I’m concerned” voice) You felt a bump where?

Surfer Dude: Um, down there. You know, on my testicle. It’s huge and I know it’s from the marijuana smoke.

Me: I’m gonna put you on hold for a moment while I get you a number for the advice nurse.

At this point, I put Surfer Dude on hold I am now laughing uncontrollably and I know I shouldn’t. I know he’s concerned. I know he is a person and deserves to be treated like one. But it’s too funny and he doesn’t know that he has made my night. So I compose myself and continue on …

Me: Sir, the number for our advice nurse is 123-4567. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to give you any advice over the phone (like go have some milk and cookies and call your doctor on Monday).

Surfer Dude: Um. Yeah. Okay. Do you think I’ll be okay?

Me: I know you’ll be okay. Call the advice nurse and if you really think that you need to be seen in the ER, we will be happy to help you.

Surfer Dude: Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to tighten my filter at work and could just say what I *really* feel and think. The conversation would have been a little more interesting. This dude seriously made my crazy night a little better though.

Surfer Dude, whoever you are, get better, get rides home from people who aren’t trying to get stoned, pick “clean” partners, and thank you for the laugh. I needed that!

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

1. I am so much more than 25 things.

2.  I consider myself anti-social.  I choose to spend the majority of my time at home with my family in the comfort of my own home, rather than out and about in society.  I don’t like to be around a lot of people – it freaks me out to feel obligated to hold conversations with people and try and think of things to say.

3.  I’m not much of a talker.  If I don’t speak to you, it’s not that I don’t want to or that I’m trying to be rude, it’s just that I am not verbal.  Sometimes I believe that the world would be a better place if people kept their mouths shut and just wrote.  I am a true believer in the power of the written word and I am BIG on snail mail.  I wear my iPod with my earbuds plugged into my ears when I am alone in public so as not to have conversations with people (i.e. when I’m at the gym).  I also would rather text than talk.

4.  My true best friend is a beautiful girl who looks VERY similar to me.  Her name Joanie and she has been my friend since the very first day of 8th grade. I love my Joanie truly, madly, deeply!!!

5.  I went through a very dark period of life that lasted a very long, long, LONG time that I never thought would end.  It took me a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel because I never believed it was an out – I thought it was a train coming at me so I ran in the other direction!

6.  My Mini Cooper was an obnoxious birthday request on my part never believing that anyone could find a “Blue Mini Cooper with a black roof, and grey seats” on short notice, or that my husband would take me seriously.  He found my requested Mini and presented it to me with a big red bow and all! ; )  Goes to show you, be careful what you ask for … However, I loooooove my Mini!!!

7.  I was a geeky kid growing up.  Very “Plain Jane.”  I had a mother who led me to believe that I was not beautiful or worth a damn thing.  I never believed it either until I was about 27 years old.

8. My first suicidal attempt was when I was 8 years old.  I really wanted to die.

9.  It was because I was told that I would never amount to anything that I am as successful as I am today.  I was too scared to not succeed.  I honestly wanted to prove those idiots who believed that I would never make it that I would … that they were f’n WRONG!

10.  Exercise is my drug of choice.  I do not function well if I don’t get a good workout – I love the endorphin rush. They do say that exercise is for those that cannot handle drugs or alcohol. I believe that whole heartedly.

11.  I do not have the enzyme to properly breakdown alcohol in my body. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.

12.  I may look and act strong on the surface, but not all the way through.  Never mind that I have a black belt in Krav Maga, and am strong and love to hit and kick.

13.  I don’t like to cuss, but when I’m stressed I start to sound like a sailor!  And when I’m nervous, I talk … a lot!

14.  I can swim, but once my feet can’t feel the bottom of the ocean or the pool, I start to freak out, panic, and feel as if I am drowning!  If there was a triathlon in which I could swim in 3 feet of water I’d be fine.  Or if I could swim with floaties on …  This is somewhat amusing for a girl who grew up on the Island of Oahu!

15.  I have kept a journal since I was about 8 years old.  I’m a writer.  I love the movement of my pen over paper.  I love my handwriting also.  I love books.  I have a whole house FULL.  I can hardly bear to part with them, even though I know that I should just go to the library and save my money … I’d be a gazillionaire if I could stay away from Barnes and Noble and similar bookstores.

16.  I always believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, experiencing exactly what I am supposed to be experiencing.  I believe that I am who I am supposed to be, and that I am with the people that I am supposed to be with.

17.  I trust very few people.  I know who my “real” friends are and who I can trust, but even then I don’t divulge the “real” me.  I only let you see what I want you to see, and I hold most people at arm’s length.

18.  I don’t cry.  I am NOT a cry baby.  Only a handful of people have seen me cry.  I only cry when I throughly exhaused and frustrated, not because I am emotional.  I believe that crying is a form of manipulation, so if you are crying and I don’t console you, it’s probably because I don’t believe you …

19.  I believe that all women should be strong and self-sufficient and independent, rather than meek and dependent.

20.  I know who I am, who I’m not, who I want to be.  I know what I want, and will work hard to achieve my dreams and goals, or to get what it is that I am after.

21.  I believe in God and all that is good.  I can usually see the brighter side of things and remain positive.

22. I am a fat-phobe, although I believe that there is a fat person inside me desperately attempting to claw it’s way out. I am disgusted when I feel myself getting “soft” and I am afraid of things going “south.” I am OCD about working out. I exercise so that I can feed myself pastries … heeheehee. (Only half kidding.)

23. Despite my two Bachelor’s Degrees (one in Nursing and the other in Business), I believe that I am somewhat of a blonde underneath my brunette … a Reese Whitherspoon kind of blonde though.

24. I believe that I have the best husband in the world. He works hard at our relationship and really has been the one of the very few to show me that I AM worth something, and that I AM someone. He has never been afraid to tell me what I need to hear, but also what I want to hear. He has loved me unconditionally despite my OCD, my irrationalities, my imperfections, my faults, etc. He’s also a great father to our kiddos, and has always … ALWAYS put us first. Our relationship is far from perfect, but show me a relationship that is …

25. I have four true loves that come in the form of Mini Row’s … Samuel, Nathan, Noah, and Grace.  I love my children dearly.  They are definately the best part of Me and I would do anything for them.  They’re great kids and I couldn’t have asked for better.  You mess with them and I’ll show you a force to be reckoned with!!!

1.  Don’t be a whiner.  Nobody likes a whiner, not even other whiners.

2.  Walking out the door is often the toughest part of a run.

3.  Don’t make running your life.  Make it part of your life.

4.  During group training runs, don’t let anyone run alone.

5.  Keep promises, especially ones made to yourself.

6.  When doing group runs, start on time no matter who’s missing.

7.  The faster you are the less you should talk about your times.

8.  Keep a quarter in your pocket.  One day you’ll need to call for a ride.

9.  Don’t compare yourself to other runners.

10.  All runners are equal, some are just faster than others.

11.  Keep in mind that the later in the day it gets, the more likely it is that you won’t run.

12.  For a change of pace, get driven out and then run back.

13. If it was easy, everybody would be a runner.

14.  When standing in starting lines, remind yourself how fortunate you are to be there.

15.  Getting out of shape is much easier than getting into shape.

16.  A bad day of running still beats a good day at work.

17.  Talk like a runner. “Singlets” are worn on warm days.  “Tank tops” are worn to the beach.

18.  Don’t talk about your running injuries.  People don’t want to hear about your sore knee or black toe.

19.  Don’t always run alone.

20.  Don’t always run with people.

21.  Approach running as if the quality of your life depended on it.

22.  No matter how slow you run it is still faster than someone sitting on a couch.

23.  Keep in mind that the harder you run during training, the luckier you’ll get during racing.

24.  Races aren’t just for those who can run fast.

25.  There are no shortcuts to running excellence.

26.  The best runs sometimes come on days when you didn’t feel like running.

27.  Be modest after a race, especially if you have reason to brag.

28.  If you say, “Let’s run this race together,” then you must stay with that person no matter how slow.

29.  Think twice before agreeing to run with someone during a race.

30.  There is nothing boring about running.  There are, however, boring people who run.

31.  Look at hills as opportunities to pass people.

32.  Distance running is like cod liver oil.  At first it makes you feel awful, then it makes you feel better.

33.  Never throw away the instructions to your running watch.

34.  Don’t try to outrun dogs.

35.  Don’t trust runners who show up at races claiming to be tired, out of shape, or not feeling well.

36.  Don’t wait for perfect weather.  If you do, you won’t run very often.

37.  When tempted to stop being a runner, make a list of the reasons you started.

38.  Never run alongside very old or very young racers. They get all of the applause.

39.  Without goals, training has no purpose.

40.  During training runs, let the slowest runner in the group set the pace.

41.  The first year in a new age group offers the best opportunity for trophies.

42.  Go for broke, but be prepared to be broken.

43.  Spend more time running on the roads than sitting on the couch.

44.  Make progress in your training, but progress at your own rate.

45.  “Winning” means different things to different people.

46.  Unless you make your living as a runner, don’t take running too seriously.

47.  Runners who never fail are runners who never try anything great.

48.  Never tell a runner that he or she doesn’t look good in tights.

49.  Never confuse the Ben-Gay tube with the toothpaste tube.

50.  Never apologize for doing the best you can.

51.  Preventing running injuries is easier than curing them.

52.  Running is simple. Don’t make it complicated.

53.  Running is always enjoyable. Sometimes, though, the joy doesn’t come until the end of the run!

 

Note:  I’m not sure who Joe Kelly is, I’m still trying to find out.  If you know, leave me a comment.  I enjoyed this post, and I hope that you did, too!

The saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”  Sometimes, one just doesn’t have anything to say, nice or otherwise.

I’m one of those non-verbal individuals that does more listening than speaking.  I’m not sure what it is, I’m just not comfortable speaking.  There’s nothing wrong with the sound of my voice that I know of.  I don’t have a lisp or anything.  No “weird” accent.  I can’t remember any strange, weird things happening to me in my past that would cause me to have an aversion to speaking.

Most times, I believe that what I have to say is not that important.  I listen to conversations that people have, and I do engage at times, but seriously, I do more listening than speaking.  I’m the one that can be found sitting, people watching, taking in all that everyone is saying and doing.  I’m the one that has trouble repeating jokes, and I am not a natural storyteller.   I’m the one that, when in counseling, had to be coaxed to just say more than two words because I was paying an exorbitant amount of money to be listened to and heard!  I can laugh about it now, but at the time it wasn’t so funny.  In fact, it was quite painful … and very difficult, as it provoked such raw emotion … emotions that most times I don’t care to feel and prefer too keep under the surface.

Words just don’t come out “right” for me when spoken.  I’m sure most of us have experienced that, “Ugh! I should have said “(fill in the blank).”  It just happens to me far too often.  It’s as if my brain works so fast to get the words out that when they actually come out of my mouth, it’s jumbled and all “wrong.”  Sometimes, when I’m truly frustrated, the words come out loud, and quick – before I get a chance to filter what I want to say, and I cry!  I don’t like to cry.  Row. doesn’t cry.  It’s insane!  It’s so frustrating, and I must look like an idiot … So I would rather just keep my mouth shut. TIGHT!

Truth be told, if I never had to speak another word again, I would be totally fine with that.  Seriously, I’d be okay with that.  If I never had to say another word,  I would not be lost.  Most people don’t listen anyway, so I would never have to waste my breath trying to get my point across.  I prefer writing anyway.  It is through writing that I can get my words out best.   I’m a big believer in the power of the written word.   I’ve always been in love with snail mail – words hand written to me or by me on paper.  And text messaging … the BEST invention ever!!!  No long conversations if you don’t want them, just short and most times sweet messages that get straight to the point.  I’ve been known to give some nice speeches during high school and college speech classes.  As long as I’m prepared and can get my words written out, I’m okay.  I’d just write, type, and text and I’d be perfectly happy.

Don’t discount me though because I’m quiet.  Although I dub myself “antisocial,” I do speak.  I am smarter than the average bear.  My mind moves at a pace of a million miles a minute.   Sometimes the things that I *truly* want to say are inappropriate, so I bite my tongue … sometimes to the point where my tongue hangs on by only it’s thin membrane.  I love to laugh out loud (let me emphasize LOUD) at funny jokes and stupid things.  I can hold short conversations with those that I am comfortable around.  I’m actually quite outgoing when you get to know me.  I talk to people everyday, and I do my best to put them at ease.  When I’m nervous, I have a tendency to talk too much.   I talk to myself, and answer myself also.  And when things are difficult, yet need to be said, I can be seen taking a very deep breath as I say a short prayer and ask God to “let the ‘right’ words come out of my mouth,” before I speak.  But know that when I’m truly upset or pissed off beyond belief, I shut down and will NOT speak a word because it is then that I have absolutely NOTHING nice to say.  It is then that everyone should just stay clear and let me be.

I’m okay with silence.  However … just because I’m quiet does not mean that you should not speak to me.  The words that come out of my mouth may just surprise you!