I love this little race. It’s a 5 or 10K run, or walk held in downtown Stockton. The first time I ran this race was last year, so I thought I’d run it again since 1) It’s a good training run; 2) I’d run off any excess Thanksgiving meal that I happen to eat; 3) It’s for a great cause … I, myself, don’t like being hungry, so I cannot leave others to be hungry.
Today’s race was to be treated as a training run, but, of course, you know that a PR is always at the back of my mind. I was just going to run … throw some intervals in there as I had done in a few past running drills. However, I had spoken to my Coach, @speedysasquatch, earlier in the week and he put me back on a plan and gave me some guidelines. One mile warm up, pick it up progressively, then run it in. Okay. I could do that.
PreRace Cheezin' with my good friend, Cory!
I was thankful that I was able to convince my husband to tag along with me. He is my biggest supporter, and I love having him there. I felt kind of bad for him though because he had worked a half of a shift that night, and because it was 37 degrees that morning!
Ryan & Cory - PreRace
I met my friend Cory and her son, Ryan, that morning. Mac lives in Sac, and as this was just a little race, she would not be ruuning this one with me. Cory and I had fun cheezin’ for pre-race pictures. I was able to meet Cory’s friend, Leah, who is actually Cory’s neighbor and running buddy. We looked for other friends, but it was just to be us. It was really cold, so we tried to stand in the sun and just keep movin’.
Promptly at 0830, the gun goes off and we all take off in a mass of people. I was thankful that even though the crowd was large, I was never stuck in a pack of people. I lost Cory and Ryan in the first mile though. =( I was on my own, but that was okay.
I had made a new playlist for my run the night before so I was good to go …. Appropriately named “Row’s 10K PR Playlist,” it had 17 songs, and would play for no longer than 58 minutes.
Just a Dream by Nelly
G.R.I.N.D. (Get Ready It’s a New Day) by Asher Roth
Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars
Firework by Katy Perry
The Time (Dirty Bit) by The Black Eyed Peas
Raise Your Glass by Pink
We R Who We R by Kesha
Magic by B.o.B. (feat. Rivers Cuomo)
Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) by My Chemical Romance
Please Don’t Go by Mike Posner
We No Speak Americano by Yolanda Be Cool & DCup
Forget You (Glee Cast Version) (feat. Gwennyth Paltrow)
The Rockfeller Skank by Fatboy Slim
The Middle by Jimmy Eat World
(If You’re Wondering If I Want You) I Do by Wheezer
Like a G6 by Far East Movement
I knew what I needed to do. I knew that once I heardRockafeller Skank that that was my cue …
I cruised the run, and was doing well hitting sub 10 min miles … 9:30, 9:15 … whatever. I had my Roxanne (Garmin) on, but I forgot to hit “start” right at the beginning so it was a tad off, and I wasn’t really paying any attention to it. I was just cruisin’ along.
Halfway point - lookin' strong, feelin' strong!
I wasn’t really waiting for anything. I just knew my cue. So when Fatboy Slim started blarring out of my earbuds, right before mile 5, I was gone. It was fitting that the first words are, “Right about now … ” It was also fitting that I was following someone at a “safe” distance that I did not want to beat me. I took off and passed this individual right then and right there. I did not worry that they would catch me because I would not allow it. I am thankful that Rockafeller Skank is a song just about 7 minutes long. I promised myself that I would run hard while it played … It worked. I ran my fastest mile at sub 9! =)
I finished that 10K in 55 minutes! =) Yeeeee Haaaawww! I was happy that I did so well. The number in my head was 54, but I was very happy with my 6 minute PR.
Me, Ryan, Cory, and Mel. Me with the BEAUTIFUL People!Ryan, Cory, & I - PostRace! We look awesome, 'cause we ARE awesome!
Ryan and Cory finished in respectable times as well, at about 60 minutes! We met up at the end for more postrace cheezin’. We were able to find our beautiful friend, Mel. I looked for my friend, Christina, who Chris says finished in 48 minutes. We had fun.
All in all, it was a great way to start Thanksgiving. I am proud of myself, finishing in a very respectable time, improving! I felt a little bad that I picked the person off at mile 5 and didn’t say a word. Why? Because I always encourage people. I don’t care if I know you, or whatever, I will encourage you to come with me so that I can tag along with them. But there was something, I don’t know what to call it, in me, that got a little peeved at this individual and I was done. I felt no remorse about taking off. To be honest, it felt really good. I know that sounds callous and catty, but … I don’t care. I did it. In my head it was a challenge to this person to come with me … Eh, I was right, they didn’t. And knowing the little bit that I know about this individual, I know it made them mad that I zoomed passed without warning!
Awesome. I am thankful to have such great running friends in real life, and in my virtual circle. I am thankful to have a supportive family, especially my husband who is my greatest supporter. I am thankful for my Coach, Josh, who has more confidence in my potential, and helps me to expose it!
Foot Motivation written by Chris. It reads, "It's all about the mind. Run Row Run. 2010"
On a side note, I was reading a blog written by my Twitter friend, @RTDanielle09, and she had on there a small piece on how she and some friends, have others write words of inspiration on the soles of their feet. (Read that blog here.) The words are not read until after the race is run. I thought that that was such a great idea, so prior to putting on my shoes and socks this morning, I had asked my hubby to write something on the sole of my foot. I actually forgot all about it until just about stepping in the shower. I had him snap a photo of it for posterity. I believe that this is a new tradition that I will continue.
PostRace - Happy, Thankful, Blessed to be able to run, and for so, so much MORE!!!
Happy Thanksgiving 2010, everyone. Hope you are all as thankful and as blessed as I am …
**This was originally posted in April 2009 in another one of my blogs, but I loved it so much and wanted to keep it.**
Copy this note, ask your child the questions and write them down exactly how they respond.
1. What is something mom always says to you?
Samuel: “Get off the couch and go do something!”
Nathan: “Nathan, pick up your plate/socks/shoes/stuff!”
Noah: “That she loves me.”
Grace: “Knock it off!!!”
2. What makes mom happy?
Samuel: “Chocolate, purple things, reading, writing.”
Nathan: “Being with her family.”
Noah: “I do.”
Grace: “When I bring her a Pepsi.”
3. What makes mom sad?
Samuel: “Grandpa Alex.”
Nathan: “When her family is being mean.”
Noah: “When a relative dies.”
Grace: “When I don’t bring her a Pepsi.”
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Samuel: “She says DUMB stuff. LOL.”
Nathan: “By saying funny things.”
Noah: “She tells jokes.”
Grace: “She tickles me.”
5. What was your mom like as a child?
Samuel: “The same that she is now?! How am I supposed to know, I wasn’t alive.”
Nathan: “She had big, giant hair.”
Noah: “I don’t know, she never told me.”
Grace: “Small.”
6. How old is your mom?
Samuel: “Young.”
Nathan: “40 years old.”
Noah: “40.”
Grace: “40.”
7. How tall is your mom?
Samuel: “Short.”
Nathan: “4ft. 10/11 in.”
Noah: “A little taller than me.”
Grace: “She’s little.”
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Samuel: “Read, workout.”
Nathan: “Go to the gym.”
Noah: “Run, exercise.”
Grace: “Ride her bike, run, play.”
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
Samuel: “Work.”
Nathan: “Sleep or go to the gym.”
Noah: “I don’t know.”
Grace: “Goes to work.”
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Samuel: “Her memoirs.”
Nathan: “For finishing a big marathon first with a record time.”
Noah: “Running.”
Grace: Unable.
11. What is your mom really good at?
Samuel: “Cooking!!!”
Nathan: “Running.”
Noah: “Running.”
Grace: “Playing games.”
12. What is your mom not very good at?
Samuel: “Dancing.”
Nathan: “Swimming.”
Noah: “Break dancing.”
Grace: Unable.
13. What does your mom do for her job?
Samuel: “Nursing.”
Nathan: “She is an ER Nurse at .. (that place that shall remain nameless).”
Noah: “She’s a nurse.”
Grace: “She fixes people.”
14. What is your mom’s favorite food?
Samuel: “IDK. Chocolate chip ice cream?”
Nathan: “I am not sure.”
Noah: “I would have to say salad.”
Grace: “Rice and soup.”
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Samuel: “She takes care of 4 kids and works two jobs.”
Nathan: “She saves lives every day.”
Noah: “That she runs.”
Grace: Unable.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Samuel: “Speedy Gonzales!”
Nathan: “Road Runner.”
Noah: “The Road Runner.”
Grace: “Dora, Dora.”
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Samuel: “Eat, sit, play Bejeweled.”
Nathan: “Watch movies.”
Noah: “Sing in the car.”
Grace: “We talk, play, and eat.”
18. How are you and your mom the same?
Samuel: “Skin color! Reading.”
Nathan: “We both run a lot.”
Noah: “Well, people say that we look the same.”
Grace: “We’re girls.”
19. How are you and your mom different?
Samuel: “She’s older, and I don’t like to work out. And she’s a girl!”
Nathan: “She’s a girl and I’m a boy.”
Noah: “She’s older.”
Grace: Unable.
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Samuel: “She works, and she picks me up from school, and she gives me money!”
Nathan: “She says it a lot and she shows it.”
Noah: “She tells me.”
Grace: “She kisses me.”
21. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
Samuel: “Barnes and Noble!!!”
Nathan: “To the gym.”
Noah: “The gym.”
Grace: “To sleep!”
2. I consider myself anti-social. I choose to spend the majority of my time at home with my family in the comfort of my own home, rather than out and about in society. I don’t like to be around a lot of people – it freaks me out to feel obligated to hold conversations with people and try and think of things to say.
3. I’m not much of a talker. If I don’t speak to you, it’s not that I don’t want to or that I’m trying to be rude, it’s just that I am not verbal. Sometimes I believe that the world would be a better place if people kept their mouths shut and just wrote. I am a true believer in the power of the written word and I am BIG on snail mail. I wear my iPod with my earbuds plugged into my ears when I am alone in public so as not to have conversations with people (i.e. when I’m at the gym). I also would rather text than talk.
4. My true best friend is a beautiful girl who looks VERY similar to me. Her name Joanie and she has been my friend since the very first day of 8th grade. I love my Joanie truly, madly, deeply!!!
5. I went through a very dark period of life that lasted a very long, long, LONG time that I never thought would end. It took me a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel because I never believed it was an out – I thought it was a train coming at me so I ran in the other direction!
6. My Mini Cooper was an obnoxious birthday request on my part never believing that anyone could find a “Blue Mini Cooper with a black roof, and grey seats” on short notice, or that my husband would take me seriously. He found my requested Mini and presented it to me with a big red bow and all! ; ) Goes to show you, be careful what you ask for … However, I loooooove my Mini!!!
7. I was a geeky kid growing up. Very “Plain Jane.” I had a mother who led me to believe that I was not beautiful or worth a damn thing. I never believed it either until I was about 27 years old.
8. My first suicidal attempt was when I was 8 years old. I really wanted to die.
9. It was because I was told that I would never amount to anything that I am as successful as I am today. I was too scared to not succeed. I honestly wanted to prove those idiots who believed that I would never make it that I would … that they were f’n WRONG!
10. Exercise is my drug of choice. I do not function well if I don’t get a good workout – I love the endorphin rush. They do say that exercise is for those that cannot handle drugs or alcohol. I believe that whole heartedly.
11. I do not have the enzyme to properly breakdown alcohol in my body. Don’t ask me how I know, I just know.
12. I may look and act strong on the surface, but not all the way through. Never mind that I have a black belt in Krav Maga, and am strong and love to hit and kick.
13. I don’t like to cuss, but when I’m stressed I start to sound like a sailor! And when I’m nervous, I talk … a lot!
14. I can swim, but once my feet can’t feel the bottom of the ocean or the pool, I start to freak out, panic, and feel as if I am drowning! If there was a triathlon in which I could swim in 3 feet of water I’d be fine. Or if I could swim with floaties on … This is somewhat amusing for a girl who grew up on the Island of Oahu!
15. I have kept a journal since I was about 8 years old. I’m a writer. I love the movement of my pen over paper. I love my handwriting also. I love books. I have a whole house FULL. I can hardly bear to part with them, even though I know that I should just go to the library and save my money … I’d be a gazillionaire if I could stay away from Barnes and Noble and similar bookstores.
16. I always believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, experiencing exactly what I am supposed to be experiencing. I believe that I am who I am supposed to be, and that I am with the people that I am supposed to be with.
17. I trust very few people. I know who my “real” friends are and who I can trust, but even then I don’t divulge the “real” me. I only let you see what I want you to see, and I hold most people at arm’s length.
18. I don’t cry. I am NOT a cry baby. Only a handful of people have seen me cry. I only cry when I throughly exhaused and frustrated, not because I am emotional. I believe that crying is a form of manipulation, so if you are crying and I don’t console you, it’s probably because I don’t believe you …
19. I believe that all women should be strong and self-sufficient and independent, rather than meek and dependent.
20. I know who I am, who I’m not, who I want to be. I know what I want, and will work hard to achieve my dreams and goals, or to get what it is that I am after.
21. I believe in God and all that is good. I can usually see the brighter side of things and remain positive.
22. I am a fat-phobe, although I believe that there is a fat person inside me desperately attempting to claw it’s way out. I am disgusted when I feel myself getting “soft” and I am afraid of things going “south.” I am OCD about working out. I exercise so that I can feed myself pastries … heeheehee. (Only half kidding.)
23. Despite my two Bachelor’s Degrees (one in Nursing and the other in Business), I believe that I am somewhat of a blonde underneath my brunette … a Reese Whitherspoon kind of blonde though.
24. I believe that I have the best husband in the world. He works hard at our relationship and really has been the one of the very few to show me that I AM worth something, and that I AM someone. He has never been afraid to tell me what I need to hear, but also what I want to hear. He has loved me unconditionally despite my OCD, my irrationalities, my imperfections, my faults, etc. He’s also a great father to our kiddos, and has always … ALWAYS put us first. Our relationship is far from perfect, but show me a relationship that is …
25. I have four true loves that come in the form of Mini Row’s … Samuel, Nathan, Noah, and Grace. I love my children dearly. They are definately the best part of Me and I would do anything for them. They’re great kids and I couldn’t have asked for better. You mess with them and I’ll show you a force to be reckoned with!!!
As Thanksgiving comes around again, I am reminded that I am blessed with so much more than the average person. Many “forget” the little things that they are blessed with, and take for granted the “little” things. I do not. I do my best to say a prayer of thanks everyday. This is my list of blessings that I am thankful for. (Be forewarned, it may be *a little* lengthy, but better lengthy, than to have only a few.)
My Husband. He puts up with my insane requests, and labile moods. He is the rock in our family. He’s a great husband, and father. He’s our protector. He *always* puts us and thinks of us FIRST.
My Children. I’ll name them individually, but seriously, I could not have been blessed with a better bunch. My children are all well behaved, respectful, loving children. They are a great bunch and I love them dearly!
My Samuel. He is becomming a very self-sufficient young man, and it has been a pleasure watching him come into his own. He’s a good student, and a loving son.
My Nathan. He’s quickly growing into his own self. He started high school this year and he’s becomming quite a young man that his parents can be proud of.
My Noah. He’s my twin. He’s still very much “young” in age and in mind-set, but he’s an all around good boy that helps me all the time.
My Grace. As much as she is a handful, she is very humorous, very loving, very giving, and can be the sweetest thing (when she wants to be).
My Health. At my age, I am proud to say that I am healthier than most of those that are my age, and even many who are younger than I am. I am thankful to have been blessed with good genes, and a great immune system.
The Health of My Family. We have had our share of illnesses and issues, which have all been thankfully minor in comparison to the rest of the world. Besides the occasional cold, seasonal allergies, and maybe a bump or a bruise here or there, I am thankful to have a healthy family.
My Job. In this day and age, where so many are jobless and facing hardship, I am thankful to have a career in a profession that will be around for a long time. I am blessed to have 2 jobs that provide an income that can support my family in a manner that is comfortable.
Health, Dental, Auto, Homeowners, Etc. Insurance. In an age where so many are uninsured, I am thankful to have full health, dental, and vision insurance thru my employers that covers not only myself, but my family also. As for the other insurance that I carry, I am thankful that I can afford to carry them to protect my assets!
My Body. This really belongs in the “My Health” category, but seriously, I am thankful to have the body that I have been blessed with. My body is STRONG, and hardy. I am able to push my body to the limits and then some. I am thankful that I am able to workout as hard and as long as I can and have been. I love can outperform many of those that are younger than I am.
My Running Buddy, Mac “The MACHine.” Mac has been a big part of my running over the last year. She has inspired and encouraged me. We have run a race together every month in 2010, and plan to run more in the years (yes I just typed YEARS) to come. She picks me up when I am down. She runs beside me. She cheers me on. She is the best running partner ever. I could not ask for better.
My Friends. I am not one of those individuals who is very close to a lot of people. I hold myself at an arm’s distance, and build a wall around myself. I don’t get too close to people, and I deem myself “antisocial” because I prefer the comfort and safety of my own home and family. But there are a select few that I am happy to call my friends, that I hold close to my heart and love dearly. And when I love, I love wholeheartedly. I love my real friends. You know who you are.
My Social Network Friends on Facebook & Twitter. I have developed some very nice friendships and have met some very nice people in the short amount of time that I have been using Facebook and Twitter. I have been fortunate to meet some of these individuals IRL (in real life). These relationships work for me, as I am able to get to know people at a distance, and not so up-close and in your face. I can take my time and interact with them as much as I prefer. These individuals have offered me support and advice that I have found to be heartwarming, helpful, and special. They are my biggest cheerleaders and are usually the first to pick me up when I am down.
My Mother-In-Law, Kathy. My mother-in-law is the best. She has the best interest of her grandchildren, and her family at heart. She has been helpful in watching them for us, taking them when we/I need a break, or just doing whatever we need help with. She works hard, and she does the best that she can to help us whenever we need it. For that I cannot complain, and I am very thankful.
Modern Conveniences. I remember the days of not having cable TV, mobile telephones, computers, microwaves, etc. I remember having to use an actual telephone directory, encyclopedias, going to the library, or waiting until someone actually got home to talk to them. I am thankful for these modern conveniences that have made life somewhat easier.
My House. I may not live in the greatest neighborhood, but I have a decent house that provides my family with shelter.
Money In The Bank. I am thankful to have a savings account. Not many people can say that they have one. I am richer than most by just having a couple dollars in my pocket everyday. I am thankful to make a very modest salary which allows me to provide my family with food, shelter, clothing, and many “extras.”
Food To Eat. While there are so many who can barely afford to feed their families, I am thankful that I am able to provide mine with plenty. Home cooked meals are the best. Being able to shop at a grocery store and not have to count my pennies is a good feeling. Being able to take my family out for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack is something that I am very thankful for.
My Fully Functioning, Working Brain. The ability to think, and process. To make sound and somewhat wise decisions. To have the reflexes of a cat! Some may beg to differ on the function of my brain, but that’s their opinion!
The Ability To Read. I love reading as evidenced by my very large library (which I am thankful for). If I could not read, I don’t believe that I would have travelled as much as I have (in my head, of course), experienced as much (as I live vicariously through the characters), or learned as much (I am a self-help book fiend).
The Ability To Write. I love paper and pen. I love stationery. I love my journals. Moleskine’s are the best. I process my thoughts by actually writing. I love it. I love my own handwriting – seeing it on paper.
DVR. I am not much of an avid television watcher, but there are a few shows that I follow but cannot watch on the nights or days that they come on. For this fact, I am thankful for DVR and the ability to watch the shows when I am able. Most days I can be found spinning away on the spin bike (that I’m also thankful for) as I catch up on my shows.
My Various Fitness Obsessions. I have a free gym membership to the local gyms from work. I have a membership that I use for martial arts. I own *several* pieces of equipment, bicycles, and DVDs that I use at home. I have a vast collection of running shoes, running clothing, running gear such as Roxanne my GPS tracker, iPods … and …
My Running Coach. Josh @speedysasquatch! He is awesome! He has improved my running much more than I ever believed I could improve. He never makes me feel inferior, always talks me up, and makes me feel good about my performance. If you are a runner, he is the coach for you!
I know that my list is long, but there are just so many things that I am thankful for. I am happy to have as many things on my list that I have. I could seriously go on and on and on … There are so many more. I hope that others can find the little blessings in their everyday lives and be thankful for that. I am a true believer that the more you are thankful for, the more you will be blessed with. Remember, the Universe is always willing to provide you with everything you desire. There should be no feeling of lack, because the Universe is limitless.
We should all take a few minutes to offer thanks for every little thing. I wish you and your family a very Happy Thanksgiving. May you all be blessed with all that your heart desires! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and for being my friend.
It only seemed right that if my city was having a half marathon, that I should run it. I felt obligated. Regardless if there was another half marathon in a prettier area of California, I felt obligated to run in my city, and since I’m not much of a traveller – more like homebody – I decided that I would stay home and run the half that was 3 miles away.
I had decided to run this half early in the year when I first heard that it was in the works. Although Stockton is not in the best part of California, it has much to offer if the City government would kick itself into gear. This half marathon was a good idea – great for the morale of the City which is waning, and great for publicity.
Mac really wanted to run Big Sur’s Half-Marathon, and that was actually on the list, but like I said, when I heard that Stockton was having one, I couldn’t let my city down. So … Stockton it was.
MiniRow ... Ready To Goooo!
The morning of the half was cold – 49 degrees or so, but it was nice. The skies were clear, and the energy at the start was contagious and fun! Chris had driven Mac and I to the event where we were able to meet up with some of our friends …
Mac, Laura, and I. Laura was able to PR this race! She rocked!Me and Jenn - She was celebrating her 40th by running her first Half Marathon!Me and Judy ...
The course was actually a nice run thru mid Stockton. It took us down March Lane, thru the University of the Pacific, then thru the neighborhood of Brookside. It’s all pretty much thru the areas where I have run, and I was very familiar with the area. Flat and fast.
The first six miles of the course were uneventful. I thought that my foot would be bothering me, and I felt it here and there but it was tolerable and I could run 9:30 to 10:00 miles. For the first 10k, I felt good, I felt strong and I was able to run a sub-60, and I was happy. Then the unexpected happened …
Traffic was NOT completely closed to all traffic. I can understand that it was impossible to close off all traffic, but this police officer manning this area had apparently caught a lot of heat from drivers who were waiting … and waiting … so he decided to stop the runners and let the traffic through right when Mac and I arrived at his post! WTF? 2 minutes we waited. 2 whole minutes! But what could we do? Nothing. We couldn’t go around, we couldn’t go thru, nothing. It wasn’t anything serious, just a big annoyance.
Once we got going again, we were now running through the neighborhood of beautiful Brookside. There were lots of support in the means of homeowners who came out on their lawns, and people who just parked and waited for their runners to come by. For the most part, everyone was supportive. Surprisingly, it was the volunteer support who offered NO support. Mac pointed out that they were too busy twirling their hair, or talking on their cell phones … everything except supporting the runners! At one point, Mac yelled out to one kid, “Good job supporting us!” And I gave her the side slap! I just don’t think that these kids really knew what to do, and most kids don’t have the common sense to know that, “Oh, I should support and cheer these runners on. They need motivation.”
Ms V with her AWESOME sign! (I thought it said, "Go Row Row! But really it says, "Go Row & Ron!")Ms V was kind enough to let Grace hold the sign! She had fun cheering for all the runners!
At mile 9, I thought I saw a sign with my name on it. And as I got closer, I saw that it was my daughter holding the sign, and I was ever so happy to see my hubby and my daughter, and then Linda (@MsV1959) who made the sign! At that point I was feeling strong and I was still beside Mac.
MACHine & MiniRow looking STRONG at Mile 9!!!
Mile 11 is where my wheels started to flatten out. I really wasn’t tired, but I started to run crooked. I started out with my plantar fascitis injury on the left foot, and as I ran and it bothered me, I started to compensate and I could feel it. I was still doing okay, maintaining, but it was now starting to really hurt as I ran.
Mile 12 … the wheels were wanting to come off. Mac was able to pull away slightly … not that far. I could see her just ahead of me by about 30 seconds or so. But with each step it hurt a little more. I didn’t slow down much, and I continued to push. I knew that the finish was *right* there, and as much as I wanted to slow down, I would not let myself.
The finish line was amazing. Lots of people lined up … family and friends cheering me in! What a happy finish! It wasn’t stellar, but for being injured and not training, I thought that my time of 2:14 was a great time! Plus I subtracted the 2 minutes that I stood waiting for the cars to go by, and the minute that it took to get to the actual start!
Pros of this race: It was a great inagural race in my home city. I ran it with my friends, many of whom I inspired to run – Judy, Cory, and Jennifer! I knew lots of people running, and lots of people on the course. The water and aid stations were well placed. The weather was perfect – cool enough. No real issues with parking. Nice small race of about 1,000 people. There was lot of police volunteers and staff manning the course. The post race nutrition was a plenty – Pizza, Pop Chips, granola bars, gatorade, water, apples, bananas! Lots of food. There was a live band there also. My family was able to track me and follow me, and meet me at certain places to cheer me on! I absolutely thrived and came alive when someone who recoginzed me yelled out my name and encouraged me to go on! =)
Cons of this race: Support offered by the kids who volunteered was minimal. I ran without my own water pack – something that I will never do again. I know that this isn’t the race’s fault, I just like having my own water when I want it, or when I need it! I thought that there could have been just a few more porta-potties on the course. I wanted to stop, but not to wait and go. The course was not closed to all traffic. The police officer having to stop the runners was just insane! Obviously he was not a runner, and he was seriously getting it from both sides – the runners and the drivers!
Would I run it again? Yes! I would run it again! I thought it was a great race, and I did have a lot of fun!
Pickin' runners off at the finish line ... Me, Cory, & Mac sportin' the bling!!! So proud of Cory - she ROCKED her first half!The Cool Kids! MiniRow, PunkRockRunner, & MACHine!Christina - Ms. Sub 2, and I! She totally rocked this half!
For someone who recently stated that, “I don’t ever want to run again,” it’s quite funny that I already have a FULL, and slightly ambitious racing schedule for 2011!!! Running has become such a BIG part of my life, and it has evolved into a life of it’s own. Everything is tentative, nothing is set in stone. All I know is I am going to run!!! Who’s coming with me?!? I know Mac’s (@lincsmomruns) comin’ with me for most of these runs, as she is my ever faithful friend and running buddy! Who else??? Let’s gooooo …. !!!
*** Please, if you have any suggestions, don’t hesitate to let me know. I’d love to run with you!!! ***
January:
01 January 2011: Resolutions Run, Auburn, CA. I did this run with my friend, Mac, last year to commemorate our lofty goal of running a half a month. It was fun even though I got lost on the trail and added an extra mile to my run! This was a great way to start our year together!
01 January 2011: Fleet Feet Stockton 2011 Pajama Jam This will be one of the first years that I’ll be off on New Year’s Eve … I plan to attend this crazy 2011 kick off and run in my pajamas at the stroke of midnight! It’s a quick 2 mile jaunt around Stockton’s Lincoln Center. It’ll be fun … come with me! ** I am “IN” for this fun run!!! **
02 January 2011: Brazen Racing New Year Run, Lake Chabot, CA. I would rather do this one, versus the Resolutions Run. I haven’t made up my mind yet though. It sounds like fun, so maybe. Yeah, and don’t say, “Why don’t you do both, Row.?” ***Update*** I am “IN” for this race!
09 January 2011: California 10, Stockton, CA. This race benefits Parkinson’s disease. It’s a 10 mile run, but I’m only going to run the 10K because I work the night before. I’m just happy that I’ll be out there with friends. =)
29 January 2011: Coyote Hills Half Marathon, Coyote Hills Regional Park, CA.It’s another race put on by Brazen Racing … I just know that I want to run, and it’s on my weekend off. Gotta take advantage of that! Decided not to run this after all … I have to find some time to let my poor foot heal.
February:
06 February 2011: Kaiser Permanente Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA. Reasons to consider this run even though I *really* don’t want to: 1. @runnrgrl will be in town and she asked me, and, 2. because I work for KP. I don’t really care to run this one again because of the fact that there is NO bling!!! It seems shallow, but it’s true. I’m all about the bling these days!
06 February 2011: Surf City Half Marathon, Malibu, CA. This sounds like the race to run. Plus, you get a really cool Surf Board medal. It’s all about the bling, ‘eh?
06 February 2011: Davis Stampede, Davis, CA. As we did not want to do Kaiser Half because, honestly, I don’t like it, and because there’s no bling, we decided to to this half instead. It sounds like fun, and it’s different because we have not run this one before. I’m excited to run this one, and Chris will be running the 10K which I heard was a good one to run.
March:
13 March 2011: Shamrock’n Half Marathon, Sacramento, CA. This race in Sac, is such a fun run! I enjoyed it and can’t wait to run it in 2011. This will be Chris’ first half marathon. How exciting for him!!! ** “IN” for this one and so is Chris!**
10 April 2011: U.S. Half-Marathon, San Francisco, CA.This is actually the second half of another half-marathon that was held in October 2010. If I would have known, I would have run that one also, however, it was not to be because I didn’t know and didn’t register on time. This run sounds like a good one. I’m sure it’d definately be better than Pescadero despite Pescadero being very pretty!
10 April 2011:Artichoke Half Marathon, Pescadero, CA.It was a tsunami when we ran it last year, but it was a really nice course. Plus, Big Al was a hoot! Oh, and I can’t forget to mention that you get a medal and a large artichoke!
10 April 2011: Paso Robles Wine Country Runs, Paso Robles, CA. I want to run this one because my Twitter friends, @southbaygirl and @Ms_Torie, have been asking me to run with them and I *really* do want to run with them. It’s not that far away, and Chris says we can make a weekend out of it. I’m leaning towards this one despite the fact that I have no run scheduled with Mac.
15-16 April 2011: Ragnar Relay – So. California, Hunnington Beach to Coronado Island. I think that this would be such a great event to be a part of. I remember my friend Ali (@alitherunner) telling me all about her experience last year and she had so much fun. If it’s possible to get a team together I’d really like to run this! I wanted to run this, but it’s not happening. Too many things going on!
16 April 2011: Great Spear It Run, Stockton, CA.I’ve always run the 5 mile run that they have, but there’s a 5K also. It’s in downtown Stockton, and the Asparagus Festival is really cool. I have to work the night before and the night of, so this little race is out.
10 April 2011: Santa Cruz Half Marathon, Santa Cruz, CA. It was kinda difficult to decide for an April race, but since Mac “inherited” a bib from one of her friends who bailed out on this race, we decided to run this. Also, it’s my chance to meet @solorunner and @banksy from Twitter. I love Santa Cruz. It’s so pretty and I love The Boardwalk. I remember running here for Wharf to Wharf several times in the past – and it’s such a great atmosphere! =)
May:
01 May 2011: OKC Memorial Marathon/Half Marathon, Oklahoma City, OK. I know, this race is not in Cali. The only reason why I am considering this race is because my Twitter friends, Kris (@seekrisrun), and Mel (@SeeMelTri).**Sorry, I can’t run this one because of the fact that I’ll be travelling to Indianappolis the next week. Maybe next year?
07 May 2011: Indy 500 Mini Marathon, Indianapolis, IN. I really have a strong desire to run this half. My brother lives in Indy and I’m not sure how long he’ll be there. It sounds like so much fun to take a victory lap around the actual Indy 500 track! **Update*** I am “IN” for this race. I registered and have my confirmation. Indianapolis … look out … here comes Row. =)
22 May 2011:Fresno Classic Eye Q Half, Fresno, CA. I’m looking forward to running this one since my boy lives in Fresno. I know, “It’s Fresno and it’s gonna be HOT.” But … I don’t care. I think it’ll be fun. I’ve heard that this weekend is a great weekend – lots of fun! I was able to talk @southbaygirl and @LindaV1959 and my friend, Mellie Mel, to run with me! **I’m registered and “IN” for this one!!!**
30 May 2011: Inaugural Stockton Rotary 5 & 10K, Stockton, CA. It’ll be fun to run in the city that I live in. It’s for a good cause … to eradicate Polio, which in some third world countries they don’t have the resources or the funds for the vaccination that we take for granted here in the U.S. I plan to run the 10K, it may be a little rough though as I will be working the night before.
05 June 2011: See Jane Run Half Marathon, Alameda, CA.I wasn’t going to run this one, but a crazy thought popped in my head and I want to see if I can handle running back to back half marathons. I registered at the last minute with a discount code. Stand by for race reports.
05 June 2011: Muddy Buddy Duathalon, San Jose, CA.I have done this Duathalon for a few years now, and every year it’s just as fun, if not funner for me! Muddy Buddy moved to October … =(
11 June 2011: Lake Tahoe Relay, Lake Tahoe, CA. I wanted to run this last year when a friend of mine asked me to be on their team, but I couldn’t get the weekend off. Maybe this year I can get a team together and run it!
July:
Bad Bass Half Marathon, Lake Chabot, CA. Not sure what the date is for this one. The link is to last year’s (2010) race. Haha … I thought this event was called “Bad Ass” at first. As soon as I find out the date I’ll know more if I can do this race or not.
16 July 2011: Davis Moo-nlight Half Marathon. A night run with glow in the dark medals? Heck yeah. I’m *IN* for this half. Sounds like a fun run!
31 July 2011: San Francisco Marathon/Half Marathon. @Alitherunner and @erikarae74 have talked me into running this one. I’m looking forward to it! =)
August:
13-14 August 2011: Extraterrestrial Full Moon Marathon/Half, Rachel, NV. Now this sounds like FUN!!! Running in the DARK near mysterious Area 51! And the chance to encounter E.T.? Yeah!!! I know, I’m crazy, but it sounds like sooooo much fun!!! It’s the same day as Modesto Midnight. =(
13 August 2011: Modesto Midnight Half Marathon, Modesto, CA. I’m not sure if the date is correct, I’m hoping that it is. The link is for Active’s 2010 sign up. Sorry. I like this race. It’s fun, and it marks the Runniversary for Mac and I. There’s a lot of things that need to be fixed/improved, but to me it’s a fun run because I like to run in the dark! ** Note: It’s not certain yet if this half marathon will happen again. We are still awaiting word from Fleet Feet Stockton, and On Your Mark Events.
27 August 2011: The Giant Race – Half Marathon, San Francisco, CA. I love the SF Giants. Sounds like a good race so I thought I’d sign up. =) I’m kind of excited to run in SF and finish up on the field.
September:
04 September 2011: Disneyland Half Marathon, Anaheim, CA. This one sounds like fun! Running with the characters, and just having fun. **I’m “IN” for this one, and so is Chris!**
24 September 2011: Fall Showdown Half Marathon, El Sobrante, CA. I really enjoyed this trail half. I had a lot of fun, and discovered that I truly enjoy running on a trail! I’m not sure if the date is correct, and the link is to WolfPack Events, the organizer off the marathon. ** Note not sure about the date. Standby.
October:
16 October 2011: Nike Women’s Marathon, San Francisco, CA. This was the first BIG race that I ever signed up for and it holds a lot of sentimental value to me, and I have fundraised every year for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society for this race as “Team Running For Dad.” However, I have yet to conquer this marathon and “truly” be happy about it. I already have a guaranteed spot to this race, but I have to decide whether to run the full marathon or the half marathon. I plan on registering to get another Group ID number, so for anyone who wants to be in my group … Let’s go! I’m **IN** for the Half Marathon. I decided that the full was not the run for me, but the half … I love the half! =)
23 October 2011: Port City Half Marathon, Stockton, CA.There’s talk about another half in Stockton, CA, and this is it. There’s no information on it yet, but it looks pretty definite. How exciting for us.
30 October 2011: Down and Dirty Mud Run, Folsom, CA.This was the perfect way to get my running mojo back this year and I can’t wait to run it again in 2011!!! I had so much fun!
November:
06 November 2011: Fresno Marathon/Half, Fresno, CA.If I do decide to run a full marathon in 2011, this may be the one I would consider running. If not, then I may just run the half as everyone says that it’s a great race to run!
06 November 2011: U.S. Half, San Francisco, CA. I heard about this too late this year, otherwise, I would have signed up for it. It sounds like a great time running across the Golden Gate Bridge!
13 November 2011: Stockton Half Marathon, Stockton, CA.Not sure if this race will happen again in 2011 yet or not as 2010 was the inagural race (at the time of this writing, I have yet to run it). It’s a hometown race for me, so I feel obligated to run it.
04 December 2011: CIM Relay, Sacramento, CA. or California International Marathon, Sacramento, CA. I believe that if this there is one marathon that I run this year, this will be it. I liked the course, I enjoyed the venue and the expo. I have talked Cory into running it with me, and Mac already wants to run this as her full. I also believe that Chris will get a team together to run the relay. =) I’m **IN** for the FULL!!! Let the training begin in July.
10 December 2011: Run Walnut Creek Half Marathon, Walnut Creek, CA. This is gonna be a rough one since I’m running a full the week before. But this needs to be done in order to get the NorcalHalfSeries Medal!!! I’m gonna run it even if it kills me!!! LOL!! I CAN do it. I will do it. It’ll be the last one for the year … Until 2 weeks later … Oi!
It’s late and I’m brooding. I’m still so disappointed with my less than stellar performance at the Nike Women’s Marathon. I know that on the outside I smile, and tell everyone that I’m okay. I believe that that’s what most want to hear because I really don’t want to know what would happen should I just blurt out that I’m actually not okay, that I am actually very disappointed in myself, and that I’m not happy. I don’t want others to feel sorry for me or pity me. I don’t want any special treatment. It’s just how I feel. But I lie because it’s just not worth listening to everyone tell me how great I did, what my accomplishments are, etc., or seeing that look of shock on their faces. I lie because I am embarassed at how I feel, and because I am ashamed that I would even think this way.
It’s crazy to define myself by a marathon finishing time. It’s just a number. It has nothing to do with who I am, it’s just a number. A marathon finishing time is something that I have done, it is by no means who I am. Why would I do this to myself? Am I that shallow that I would let that number affect me in the way that it has? It’s so hard for me to be positive about this whole experience that I cried. I cried. I never cry! What does this mean?
I believe that much of this stems from my upbringing. My mother had very high expectations of me, most of which I never lived up to. Therefore, this means that you can only imagine what kind of trouble I got into. It would not behoove anyone to rehash the past, or to blast my upbringing. It is what it is, and what’s done is done. I can’t go back and change anything. Just know that the expectations were VERY HIGH, and to not live up to them was painful – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
I believe that I’m waiting for that slap and that verbal lashing that I received when things went wrong in the past. I know that it’s not coming, but in a sense it is as I am giving it to myself. What has happened is that the expectations that I have for myself are so high that when I don’t reach the expected goal, I am giving myself the lashing that I believe that I deserve.
What’s happened to me? I am no longer that small, helpless child. I am an adult with a family of my own, a grown woman. Can I not see this? Is that inner child of mine still looking for recognition and acceptance from my parents? I love my inner child. I’ve worked so hard to tell that child that she has always been loved and accepted by me. I’ve talked to that little girl until I’m blue in the face, about how our parents did the best that they could with what they had, and expressed their love to the best of their ability. I thought she knew. I believe that she does know, it’s just that sometimes she has a little regression. My inner child knows that she’s safe, and she understands, but she’s a kid and she needs constant reminders. I’m an adult and deep down inside of me, it still hurts.
I can’t seem to change what I know is irrational. I can tell my children, I can tell others, and I can convince myself for a minute, but ultimately I remember only what I learned as a child … that what I did was not good enough, that I should have worked harder, etc.
What does it say about me that I am so disappointed with my time? Does that mean that I think less of those that finished around the same time or later than me? Ahhhhhhh …. NO, that’s not what I said, nor is that what I implied. I said that I was disappointed in MYSELF, no one else. I am happy that there were so many out there, running, braving the elements, and finishing! The time was only important to ME! I am proud and happy for those that ran, gutted out that bad boy, and finished! Please don’t confuse that or put words in my mouth.
So what defines me? I really don’t know, do you? I’m Row. Smart. Beautiful. Selfish. Strong willed. Strong bodied. Strong of faith. Mother of four kiddos. Married to a great guy. ER Registered Nurse. Runner. Marathoner. Work-out-a-holic. Gym Rat. Black belt in Krav Maga. Reader. Writer. Do these things define me? I would think not as these are things that I do or believe that I am.
So … what, then, would define me? How would one define oneself? Does anyone know? Can anyone help me define “Row.”?
It’s all about the goal, right? Or is it? You work sooooo hard at something – putting in the time, the effort, the training, and in some cases, blood, sweat, and tears … You give up sleep, weekends, sweets, sleeping in … You give up time with your family and hope that they can eventually forgive you and see that there is meaning and an end to all of this madness …
Then it’s time. Time to show what you’ve got, what you’re made of, what all the training you’ve been putting in and all the sacrifices you’ve made has got you … you’re there. And then the unexpected happens.
In my case, it’s a week and a half out from the Nike Womens Marathon, my right foot with the really bad plantar fasicitis has healed so nicely. I’d been babying it, and making sure that it behaves and doesn’t flare up … so much to the point that I “neglected” my left foot … I guess it got a little mad at me, and decided that it wanted the same attention that the right foot had gotten … and it decided this a week and a half before race day! I scrambled to try and heal it quickly – rest, ice, heat, repeat … Epsom salt soaks, special socks, new inserts, visits to my chiropractor, and a massage … anything and everything. It worked to an extent, but it wasn’t 100%. Lefty was still pretty pissed! That will teach me to neglect it, it seemed to tell me. It wasn’t *really* bothering me though, so I was going to run it, too f’n bad!
The weekend for me, started on Friday afternoon. Chris and I left for San Francisco, checked into our hotel, and got situated. Our hotel was a mere two blocks from Union Square – the hub of the Expotique and Nike Town! So perfect! We walked down to the Expotique so that I could pick up my packet and see what else was going on before the “big” crowds hit on Saturday. Although there’s a lot of energy, and it’s fun, the thing about the NWM is that the expo is soooooo small that it’s called an “expotique.” Not a lot of vendors, more pitch about Nike+, etc. I’m glad that I went and got that out of the way! We were able to meet my Twitter friend, Liana (@FITtorrent), and we had planned to go to dinner that night!
Liana (@FitTorrent) and I.
Liana is such an amazing, wonderful person. She is an inspiration to me, and it was fun getting to know her as she drove Chris and I through the streets of San Francisco, and as we had dinner at Scomas! Oh, soooo goood! If you have not yet had the pleasure to eat at Scoma’s, it’s wonderful seafood with a great ambiance!
Saturday would be busy as we were going to pick up another one of my Twitter friends, Ali (@alitherunner), from the airport, then meet up with Linda (@MsV1959). Ali’s plane was delayed by about 45 minutes, so Chris and I headed to Nike Town to see if there was any Nike gear that I wanted to pick up. I needed a hat as forecast for the race called for rain and I forgot my hat! I ended up getting a really cool running hat, a running jacket, and an official NWM hoodie. Then it was off to the Oakland Airport to get Ali!
Linda (@MsV1959), Ali (@AliTheRunner), and I.
The afternoon was spent at the Expotique picking up bibs and visiting vendors. After they picked up their race bibs from the Expotique, we called Liana and our new friend, Courtney (@runcourtrun) and we searched for a location for lunch! After much deliberation, we choose to lunch at the Daily Grill, and we called Mac who eventually met up with us with her sister-in-law, Kim. We had a lively lunch, took a few pics, then it was back to the Expotique and to Nike Town.
By this time, I was seriously getting sick or tired, or both. I had been on my feet for a good part of the day, and I just wanted to take a nap. So I left Linda and Ali, I had already lost Mac and Kim … went to find my co-workers Judy and Suzanne to say a quick hello. Afterwards, I went back to the hotel and crashed … hard. I slept for two solid hours. I could’ve slept until morning, but I needed to fuel up for the race. We were able to connect with Suzanne and Judy and we had a very nice dinner at a Mexican restaurant close to our hotel.
Suzanne, Me, and Judy.
Last minute race details – pulling out the alternate race outfit due to rain, pinning the race bib to my dri fit shirt, making sure the inserts in my shoes were “comfortable,” breakfast ready to consume, electrolyte drink mixed … I was ready.
I slept uneventfully. No tossing and turning. I hit the pillow and I was out until the alarm went off at 0515! Surprising as I usually don’t sleep well pre-race.
I met Ali and Linda at 0615. San Francisco was cool and crisp – perfect running weather. Walking to the start line I was already having some issues with Lefty. I couldn’t get it comfortable in my shoe no matter what I did to my insert. I could only hope for the best at this point.
Team Sasquatch - Ready To Go!
The energy at the start line was amazing! Great music, happy runners … I wish I could say that I added to the energy, but I wasn’t feelin’ it. I felt blah, and I was worried. If there was ever a time that I wish I could DNS, today would be that day! But there was no turning back now … I know, I know, I know … cut to the race chase already! I’m even boring my own self! Ugh.
Immediately at 0700 the much awaited for gun goes off, and the race starts! It took me 20 minutes to get to the official start, and that first step … that first step with Lefty, I knew it was going to be a very LONG race! I was going to gut this out, but it was going to be hard.
The first 10K – I was holding steady. I hit one of the dreaded hills and powered up without any difficulty. I had lost my pacer, but I figured that I would just run and try to relax and have some kind of fun. Lefty was irritated, but she was hanging on. I thought about shedding a tear, but it I knew that it wouldn’t be worth it. You see, Row. doesn’t cry. Row. will keep on going.
Mile 9 – I had to go … and I had to go now. I took a much needed porta potty break. I’m not sure how much time I wasted waiting, but it didn’t seem like that long.
At mile 11, I see the turn off for the half and I contemplate turning off. I stare at that turn off and long to steer my feet in that direction, but they wouldn’t veer off the path that they were on. What? Yeah, I know … my head knew that I had signed up for the FULL not the half marathon, and I wasn’t hurting bad enough yet to give up. So, I bypassed that half turn off, grabbed a bunch of oranges from one of my favorite doctors, Dr. Gambhir, at the Kaiser Permanente station, and powered on.
Spotted by Chris at the Halfway point!
At the half, I was still having conversations with myself about why I didn’t turn and run down its path. That would have been the easy way out. I’dve been done already. I’m just not a quitter. I’m tenacious. I’m strong. I’m not smart enough to know when to quit. Gah! I stop to stretch out my tight calves and my poor Lefty! I think again that it’s not too late to turn around and head towards the half … Yeah, it is, Row. Yeah, it is.
At this time I’m running out of the park, heading towards my beloved nemesis … Lake Merced! I love Lake Merced! Hahaha … NOT! But I had made it to Lake Merced this year without a hitch. Never mind that I was soooooo off pace! So off pace! I knew that this would NOT be the race PR that I was hoping for. I had already lost the race. I was in my head, and try as I might, I couldn’t get out of it. By this time, it’s raining … it feels good, and I think that if I were crying, it would sure mask the tears. I wasn’t crying though. I was running … just running.
Putting up a brave front - taken after my friend Jessica ran with me to mile 22!
At mile 20, I don’t know anymore. I’m hurting … a lot. Not just Lefty, but my pride is taking a big hit. I can’t see how strong I am anymore. I can’t see that I’m doing something incredible. I’m pissed because I’m injured, and I’m not going to hit my goal of that sub 5 marathon that I trained so hard for. I don’t care any more. Then there’s a small miracle … a miracle in the form of a beautiful friend named Jessica Wilson! She’s a friend of my son, Sam, and a student at SF State. She had come out to support me. By this time it’s pouring down rain, and I ask her, no, I BEG her to run with me for a minute. “Please, run with me to mile 22,” I ask her. She is a former cross country star, and I am ever so thankful that she says yes. Jessica talks to me, she tells me that I am doing well, and that she’s amazed that I’ve come this far! I’m sad when mile 22 come up and she leaves me … 4 more miles, Row. Only 4 … I got this.
Yeah right … I’m hurting like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve slowed down to an incredibly slow snail’s pace, and the letters DNF comes to mind! But it’s only four. more. miles. Power through. Push. I try to be positive. I try to be happy that I would finish. I don’t know what else to do. I have nothing left in me … I’m tanked out. Spent. Done. However, the only way back is to get to that finish line. No one was going to come an pick up my sorry ass, and I am too proud to see “DNF” by my name. I knew that I would finish come hell or high water …
And I did almost an hour later … by my Garmin I finished in 5:20ish. I haven’t checked my official time, nor do I want to know. I was done and I didn’t care. I was ashamed that I couldn’t even be proud of my performance which was a PR, just not the PR that I was looking for. I wasn’t happy. All I could think of was, “I trained soooo hard for this!” I felt so bad for my husband who was so proud of me, and all I could do was sulk. I just wanted to get out of there! It was cold, and it was raining wildly! This time, the rain masked my tears.
I mistakenly sent a text to Linda telling her how I really felt which read, “I’m a loser.” I couldn’t help it. I wanted to go home, crawl in a hole, and just die. Okay, not die, but cry … I knew that I would be okay, but I really just needed to cry and get it out of my system. My coach, Josh (@speedysasquatch), called me to talk about this “loser” business. I let my cell go to voice mail as I just couldn’t talk to anyone. I couldn’t … not yet.
A couple hours later, I was home, showered, unpacked, still tapped out, but fed. My poor hubby, still trying to make me feel better, and I wasn’t having it. I, who do not cry, let my guard down and the tears flowed. He could not console me. But I didn’t really want consolation, I only wanted to cry and get it out.
It wasn’t much later that I was able to talk to my coach. The tears were no longer flowing, just a drop here and there. He told me that I was NOT in any way, shape, or form a “loser.” I finished that race – despite everything – injury, weather, difficult course – I finished that race. I stared down the half chute and bypassed it. I hit the wall, and perservered. I hurt, and I kept going. That, he said, tells him a lot about me. I was reminded that most people would never even dream of showing up to the starting line. I ran, and I finished, and I did PR despite not hitting my goal time. So … hold my head up, he tells me, and be proud of myself.
And I cried again … because it is now that I realize that I am not a loser. I am Row., marathon FINISHER. When the going got tough, I got tougher, and I saw it through until the end. That I believe is what people are talking about when they speak of the “Spirit of the Marathon.” Thank you, Josh, for setting me straight, and for making me see me for who I am, not for what I do.
There will be other races, other marathons. This is NOT the end for me. This is just one of many, and I know that not every race can be a race where I PR. For now I will take my finish and file it away. I will be happy with the fact that I CAN run. I will look harder to see the winner that I am because I know that she’s in there … I’ve caught glimpses of her before. But right now, I need a well deserved break … and I am going to take it. Not lacing my shoes up for a little while. Gonna hang them up in a safe place and just look at them.
Quick Note: I really have sooooo many people to thank for getting me through the finish line. I know that I will not be able to name everyone, and if I “forget” to mention you … please don’t be offended. First – BIG, HUGE thank you goes out to my coach, Josh (@SpeedySasquatch). In the two (yes, you read correctly TWO) months that he worked with me, I improved greatly. He kept my spirits up, and was a major factor in keeping my head screwed on right. I have to thank, Mac, because she is my running buddy, and she never lets me down. She is a solid rock, and a great inspiration and motivation. I only wish that we could have run together. I cannot forget ALL of my Twitter friends – I wish I could name ALL of you. You guys ROCK!!! You kept me motivated and held me accountable, you made the journey fun, and didn’t let me get down on myself when all I wanted to do was crawl in a hole! For those who ran miles with me in real life – Ron (@PunkRockRunner), Linda (@MsV1959) and her running partner Kim, my friends from work – Cory and her husband, Sam, Suzanne, and Judy – who ran hills with me and came back even though I almost made her puke! I TRULY appreciated all of your company as we put the miles in together! And, of course, my awesome family!!! Chris, who would bike beside me and be my SAG man and who has never missed a race of mine! My kids who put up with my OCD and would push me out the door, and pick up a lot of the slack at home! You guys are awesome and I love you!!! Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU ALL!!! I could not have gotten to this point without your support!!!
I can only laugh when I think about how “old” I *really* am … 42 … seriously? 42? When did this happen? How did this happen? Wow!!!
I don’t feel “old.” I certainly don’t believe that I look “‘old.” So I wanna know how this happened without me knowing it?!?
I can still remember being a kid and thinking that 30 was “old.” I remember talking about the year 2000 in 5th grade and the teacher telling us that we would be 32 years old, and I immediately thought, “No way!” Wow! This is amazing!!!
What do I know about me now that I’m at this point in my life? I know that I am still the same person, just a little more refined, a little smarter, a lot stronger and more resilient than I ever believed that I could be. And I’m happy.
My childhood best friend, Joan, is STILL my Soul’s Twin, and I STILL love her dearly and keep in touch with her.
I’m still athletic. I’m still in great shape for my age and I’m proud to say that I can out do many who are younger than I am. I’ve become a better runner than I ever was as a child, maybe not faster runner (yet), but a better, smarter runner.
I love my life. I love my husband, Chris, and I love being married to him. I have four children that I am so very proud of and that I adore with all of my heart. I couldn’t ask for a better family. They’re awesome!
I have a career that I actually enjoy and that suits my personality, as well as provides me with a great salary.
I have far exceeded any expectations that I had for myself as a child … and I continue to amaze and outdo myself everyday! More importantly, I have exceeded and excelled in life when some believed that I would NOT!!! To those individuals who did not believe in me … Kiss my a$$!
I don’t believe that I have changed much. I’m really still the same ole Row. Still funny, and sarcastic, short. Still crazy.
I know that I am blessed. I am thankful to have been blessed with as many years as I have been blessed with. I am thankful for my health, strength, positive outlook, boundless energy, many wonderful, happy memories, wealth. I am thankful for my family and friends. Oh so many things to be thankful and feel blessed for!
42 … wow! I still can’t fathom that I have been on this Earth for *that* long! Wow! Just, “Wow!” Happy Birthday to me!
It only seemed right that if my city was having a half marathon, that I should run it. I felt obligated. Regardless if there was another half marathon in a prettier area of California, I felt obligated to run in my city, and since I’m not much of a traveller – more like homebody – I decided that I would stay home and run the half that was 3 miles away.
Running Code 3 
