Running

Bobbing Headlights – Modesto MN Half Report

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment
MACHine and MiniRowRow

It was our “Runniversary,” Mac and I.  We ran the Inagural Modesto Midnight Half last year as our first year together, and decided that we would run it again this year.  I love that Mac and I run together virtually.  We live not “that” far apart (1.5 hours), however, it’s not easy for us to just pick up and drive to where the other is to run.  We check up on each other via text messaging and FaceBook, and have started running one half-marathon every month together beginning this year.

Where to begin … It wasn’t a bad race, just more things that need to be ironed out.  Not very many people found it easy to run in the dark, and found the race very unorganized.  True, it’s night and it’s dangerous, but it’s a chance that we take when we sign up for a race like this.

I, myself, enjoyed the course this year.  Last year was two dark loops of the same route.  BAD as some of it was in a dark, very DARK area of Modesto that was NOT in a good area.  This year, the course was one big loop.  I don’t like running loops myself, so to only have to run one big loop was a big plus for me.  The darkest part of the course was around mile 5-6ish  – which was behind the high school.  There were street lights that were there, but for some reason, maybe budget issues, these lights were not turned on.  That would have solved some of complaints right there as that section of the run was PITCH BLACK.  Even with those of us wearing headlamps, it was not enough to light up a good section of running path.  I could see enough in front of me to know where to step, but seriously, someone could get injured there easily as it was too dark.

Dark Street + Unclosed Road To Traffic = Potential DISASTER!

Complaint #2 – the roads were NOT closed to traffic.  Let’s see … dark route + traffic = very HIGH potential for disaster (i.e. runner v. vehicle).  Not good.  Granted, the Modesto Police Department was out in full force, and stopping traffic for the runners where traffic was high, however it was NOT a great idea to just have cones blocking a lane of traffic for runners.  That was not fun.  Worrying about running in the dark is bad enough, but to have to worry about the potential for getting hit by a car increases ones anxiety ten-fold!  Not cool at all.

Complaint #3 –  There was a lack of aid and water stations.  At mile 3, Mac and I saw a man down, surrounded by his family as I heard one of them ask, “Dad, can you hear me?”  Mac had asked if someone had called for EMS, but they appeared slightly confused and finally answered that they had and waved us on.  We continued on with our run, but worried in the back of our minds that something serious had happened to that gentleman as he did not look well at all.  As far as water stations, there were water stations at every 2nd mile or so starting at about mile 4, I believe.  However, at the mile 6 station, there were only 5 – 5 gallon water jugs and when Mac asked if there was water, the girl standing close by said, “Uh, yeah … you can fill up your water here.”  It was then that I pointed out to Mac that they were 5 gallon jugs and started laughing!  We carry our own water when we run, but Mac had depleted her bottle and she needed more.  I guess I just didn’t drink mine all yet, however when we came back around to the station there were attendants there who were diligently filling up cups and handing them out.  Mac was able to refill her bottle, and I grabbed a cup to cool myself off as I doused it on the back of my head and back.

The weather was awesome.  Probably around 66ish, with clear skies.  The moon was incredible, but NOT enough to light up any path as the event organizers had hoped.  As I am a nocturnal being, this was okay with me.  I function well at night and in the dark which is probably one reason why I did well.  With that said, the remainder of this blog will be on how I felt during this race.

Linda and the very cool sign she made for me.

 

Last year I finished the half in 2:26:xx.  This year, I finished in 2:12:xx, an improvement of 14 minutes!  My instructions for this race were as follows:  3mile warm up, race the Half,  2mile cool down.  What?  I have to run before and after?  Are you kidding me?  No, Coach Speedy Sasquatch was NOT kidding.  Okay, I do as instructed so I tell Mac the plan and we hit it.  We run the 3 mile warm up in about 30 minutes with enough time to gear up to run the Half.  As we are gearing up, I get a call from my friend Linda (@MsV1959) and she tells me that she’s at the Modesto Centre Plaza and come meet her.  It was so nice to see Linda and to finally meet another Twitter friend, Laura (@NICURNMama)!  Linda had made a sign for me that sincerely touched my heart!  No one had ever done that for me before and it made me happy to see it!

In the beginning, I thought that the 3 mile warm up would be a disadvantage to me.  I believed that I would be tired from it and that I wouldn’t perform well.  In actuality, it did not hinder my performance at all.  I didn’t feel tired throughout the race.  I did hear my head try to tell my body that it was tired, but I told my head which told my body, “There’s nothing wrong with you.  Nothing.  Your breathing is even and non labored.  Your shoes fit and your feet don’t hurt.  You’re hydrated.  Your stomach doesn’t hurt.  There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you, so GO!”  And I went.  There were a few times when my body wanted to falter and slow down, however I would repeat the mantra again to myself and my body believed it and kept going.

I was happy to be running well.  My last half (July) was a disaster and I thought that I was done running then!  “Trust the training,” was my other mantra of the night.  I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying working with Speedy Sasquatch!  He’s been awesome in getting my plans out to me, and answering my gazillion questions and concerns.  He is a great motivator and cheerleader, and I like that in my Coach!

Linda, Mac, & I =) The Headlights Work!

Despite all of its issues, I still feel that this event could be a really great event.  I know that running in the dark is not for most people.  I enjoyed it.  And as usual, I enjoyed running with Mac.  I loved how people really went with the theme of lighting themselves ups.  If we decide to run this again next year, I am sure that we will also plan to light ourselves up with strings of lights, etc.  We were thankful to gotten some really cool headlamps that my hubby, Chris, was thoughtful enough to get for us … it was fun watching my headlamp and the headlamps of those who ran with me bob up and down making for some really interesting shadows.  Will I run it again next year?  Most likely, yes.  As I said, I enjoyed the course, and I do enjoy running in the dark.

I know that this post is 1.5 months late … It had been written almost immediately, however, as I’m new to blogging, I had to figure out how to add pics, and etc.  I told my son that I was probably too old to be doing such a thing as blogging, but it’s kinda fun, and I LOVE reading what everyone else posts.  I’m not a natural storyteller, I’m more of a rambler … and have a tendency to drone on and on …

***Oooooh … Update on the gentleman that went down at mile 3.  He’s fine.  He said that he had been running, felt a little dizzy, and that’s all that he remembered!  He was VERY fortunate in that there was a doctor who happened to be running behind him who witnessed the entire scene and was able to render actual CPR.  The gentleman was transported to a local ER, then transferred out and had a pacemaker placed!  Geez!  He was all smiles and said to be doing well for the interview for the paper!  I’m happy for him!  Thank God!

Layin’ Low

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

It’s 7 days until D-Day … just seven.  It’s hard to believe that it’s all come down to this.  It seems as if April was just yesterday.  I feel as if I need more time.  I need more training.  I need to shed a few more pounds.  But … I only have seven days.  I would say “one week,” but that makes it seem that much closer.

All I want to do is hide.  I don’t care to interact much with anyone, and I’m happy to have the rest of this time off of work.  I don’t care to talk to anyone about how I think I’ll do, or what my goals are.  Really, all I want to do is hide out.

Truth is, I’m sacred.  I don’t feel ready.  Yes … I have been training.  Yes, I have put in the miles.  Yes, I have worked hard.  Yes, I could have done better, trained harder, ate better, taken better care of myself,  whatever … it’s too late now.  I’m done.  This is what it has come down to, and I’m scared out of my mind.

People say, “You got this, Row.  You know what to do.  You know what to expect.”  Yes, I have run a marathon before, however, this is the first marathon that I will be running with ACTUAL training, and I really don’t know what to expect.

I’ve been asking other endurance athletes and runners for words of wisdom and advice to keep the motivation up when your body is just screaming at you to, “STOP!”  And I am thankful to everyone who answered me.  I’m not trying to flood my head with everything, just taking bits and pieces of some great advice and filing it away.  But I’m still scared.

I need this time to lay low and hide out just to tune out what everyone else is doing and focusing on.  I need this time to just find me, and figure out what I need to do to get through this.  I believe that I CAN do this.  I have put in the time, the training, and the miles.  I have mental toughness, and perseverance.   I have finished a marathon before.  I am strong.  I am able.   I can do this.  I CAN do this.  I will do this.  I’m okay.

Deep breath, Row.  Deep, deep breath.  Breathe.  Believe.

I got this … just let me hide out for a couple more days.  I’ll be okay.  Whatever happens, I know that I WILL BE AMAZING!

Redemption

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

The worst had already happened to me.  I know what it feels like to have come in dead last.  After that, I told myself that that would never … NEVER … happen to me again.  I seriously believed that I did not ever want to run again.  I was done.  My pride took a big hit, and I couldn’t see myself swallowing it so soon.  So I had myself a little pity party, and I took a short break.  I needed to reevaluate and regroup.  I needed to see if my goals were realistic, and I wanted to know if I still had it in me to run because honestly, I didn’t think that it was in me.

The week that I took off proved to be very effective in helping me to figure me out.  I was finally able to let it go and swallow my pride, and take that first step and move on.  Trust me, it was only a week, but it was difficult.  I felt ridiculous wallowing in self-pity over something that wasn’t even bad.  I finished, damnit!!!  I know that.  I get that.  But it was still hard.

I am my own worst critic.  I expect so much out of myself, and I expect to perform well.  I am definitely my own worst enemy.  I am harder on myself than I am on anyone else.  So, yeah, it was hard for me to come in last place.  And it was hard to just let it go.

So I  knew that I had to step up my game.  I knew that I had to work hard.  I knew that I had to keep my body healthy.  And I was ready.  I had to change my mindset and completely forget what happened and just move on already.

I worked hard.  I got my plans weekly and I worked dilligently.  I got my mileage in.  Speed work, long runs, core, legs.  I did it all.  I know that it was helping.

August … Modesto Midnight Half Marathon … PR @ 2:12.  Yes!!!  I had such a good run that night.  I had run 3 before, then 3 afterwards.  I felt good, and I was happy.

I don’t slack.  I continue to work hard.  I work at getting my head screwed on straight.  I work on positive thinking.  I work on remembering that I am not racing against others, but rather I am racing against my own self.

September … Wolf Pack Events Fall Showdown Half Marathon.  I don’t sleep well the night before.  I think, “Well, I’ll just run.  No big deal.”  I normally would have run with Mac, but she was injured, so I run with Ron (@punkrockrunner) in the beginning.  I feel tired, but I don’t let on.   I just continue to think that I’ll keep on going.  I lose Ron somewhere around mile 5.5, and I end up missing a turn on the trail.  Once I realize that I’m off track, I realize that the trail took me up about a half mile further off the trail.  Gah!  I catch up to Ron at the turn around and we run together.  I’m tired, but I’m still going.  I’m kind of upset that I’m way off, but what could I do?  Nothing except just move forward, and that’s what I did.  I know that I’m still on track.  I know that I’m doing well.  I know Ron’s not behind me anymore, but I don’t look because I never look back.  I just run.  Mile 10, then 11, then 12 … I keep telling myself that I’m okay, that I’m gonna be okay.  Then just like that … I could see the finish.  That finish line was *this* close … And I hit the finish mat … 2:15 for almost 14 miles!!!  Another PR.

I have no clue.  I’m just so happy that I finished so strong.  I knew nothing about my ranking, or where I finished.  I just knew that I felt good and that I finished strong.  Then my husband says, “I think you won your age group!”  WHAT???  The updated stats aren’t up yet.  So I wait patiently … And as I wait, I cheer all of the other incoming runners in.  I’m just happy.

Then the new stat sheets are posted, and the announcer calls everyone’s attention  … and he’s just called out my name.  Winner of my age group!!!  I go up and collect my awards – a first place medal, and a plaque.  Oh. My. God!!!  I did it.  Redemption!!!  Redemption!  YES!!!

But I remember what it feels like to be last … so I contain my happiness, and I continue to congratulate everyone, every runner.  I am truly happy for everyone … every runner.  I would never discount anyone.

The truth is … I am just your average runner.  What I have learned is that that we all run our own race, and that we don’t compete against each other, rather we compete against ourselves.  I  know that there will always someone out there that will be faster, work harder, do better.  But I have learned to run MY race and to be happy and relish in my own little victories, and at the same time be happy for others also!  I can do that.

Me with my 1st place Age Group Medal, and awesome plaque!!!
The feeling of VICTORY as I was comin' up to the finish line!

My Most Memorable Run

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Running has been such a BIG part of my life since I was a youngster. When I was in high school, I ran cross country and track, and I had an awesome coach named Mr. Chun. I don’t believe that he ever ran a day in his life, but he coached my teammates and I well!

My most memorable run ever, was during the summer before the start of my junior year! After much planning, fund raising, and begging our parents, Mr. Chun was able to plan an elaborate week for our cross country team on the island of Molokai, Hawaii!!!

I lived on the island of Oahu, so it was a short plane flight over to Molokai. First class flight on my first commuter plane! Wow! It took several planes to get our team to Molokai, and it was fun to see my teammates in the air as I would see them driving on the freeway! Somehow, Mr. Chun was able to get us five star accomodations at Molokai High School’s gymnasium! With Mr. Chun as the chapparone for the boys team, and his wife as the chapparone for the girls team, we set up our sleeping bags on the gym floor and set up camp! Too much fun!!!

Our days were packed with various workouts – morning runs, afternoon runs, weight training, core training, callestenics, stretching. It wasn’t all about running and working out though. He had planned hikes, beach trips, sight seeing, mule rides, and barbecues which were integrated with a workout in mind!!! Beach trip? Sure, let’s make it a beach run! Hike? Uh huh, let’s run up hills and do a trail run! Mule ride to the bottom of the mountain, but you gotta run back up it! It never seemed like “working” out to me though. I was with my best friends, and I was doing what I loved – what more could I ask for?

The island of Molokai, if you have never been there, is the 5th largest island of Hawaii. It’s beautiful. When I went many moons ago, it was not as populated or commercialized as it is now, I’m sure. The beaches were empty. It was a pineapple plantation, and Molokai was home to the last Leper Colony.

Our last run, on the afternoon before we left, was a scheduled relay run thru the island! We had been divided into teams – mixed boys and girls. It was an amazing run for me! It was so long ago, but I distinctly remember running alongside one of my best friends, Frank, on the empty highway. I remember that Frank talked me through that long stretch. He could have easily left me behind, but our team was not like that. We actually cared about one another, and we had a Semper Fi mentality. When I wavered, he talked me through it, encouraging me. He reminded me to keep my head up, and to look at my surroundings. My surroundings were beautiful: lush greenery, clear, blue skies, perfect Hawaii weather, the sound of waves crashing, and the scent of pineapples! As we ran, I relaxed into the run, and just ran as my teammates cheered us on. That’s the run that is the most memorable for me.

It’s been a LONG time, but to this day, when I smell pineapples, I think of that run. I think of Molokai, and of my friends. I think of how wonderful it would be if I could go back and visit. I do go back and visit though, albeit in my dreams, or when I’m running and I waver. I bring my mind back to that time and place, and I once again hear Frank talking to me, and my teammates encouraging me on, reminding me that I CAN do it …

(Originally posted on http://Minirowrow.blogspot.com on 04/03/2010)

Keeping My Head Screwed On Straight

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had a lot of realizations.  Well, that’s partly true … what I’ve really had were wake up calls.  Realizations, wake up calls, same thing.  My head hasn’t been screwed on straight – it’s been bobbling and at times hanging on by a mere thread.  That’s crazy, because I keep thinking that if I could just run like a chicken with its head cut off, then there would really be no problem.

I think too much … that is my problem.  I’ve been told by my husband, and countless people that I just think too much.  Things that should be easy and mundane, I end up over-thinking and screwing it all up!  I’m one of those people who are wound up pretty tight ’cause I get myself all worked up over nothing.  I sit here and try to control everything, when in reality, I can’t because it’s impossible.  And some days, with all that’s floating in my head, I can’t think … because I can’t focus … because I’m worried about too many things!

I try … I really try to just let go … but even so, I still have some hold of the reins just not so tightly.  Truth be told, it’s when I’m not thinking that things work out best, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, I don’t remember.  I forget and worry myself to death.

As my marathon training comes to a close (kind of, I’ll still be training, just not for a marathon) and the actual marathon comes to reality, my thoughts jump from one thing to another.   I wonder if the goals and expectations that I set for myself are too high.  I worry that I won’t finish in a “decent” time.  I think that I’ll look “slow” to everyone.  I wonder why I even signed up for another marathon.  I ask my self, “What am I trying to prove?”  I worry about injuries, dehydration, nutrition.  Did I put enough miles in?  Did I train enough?  Will my shoes and inserts fail me?  All these swirling questions, making me dizzy, driving me crazy!!!  If I ever needed a Calgon moment, it’s now!

I have been working frantically to get my head screwed on straight, using every kind of screw, nail, brace, and glue to do so.   I’ve been mostly worried about looking stupid and making a fool out of myself, when what I should be doing is praising myself and giving myself lots of props for even having the courage to run a marathon.  I am reminded that the race is not against others, the “real” race is within myself.  I am only racing against myself.   There are only a handful of people who truly care, and everyone else could care less about how I do, or how fast I finish.  At the end of the race, I will receive the very same medal that all of the other finishers receive. 

I know that I’m not the only one out there worrying and making a mountain out of a molehill.  I’ve come so far, and I have trained and worked so hard.  In my head, I know that I can do this.  In my heart, I believe that it’s possible.  But right now those moments are fickle – they come, stay for awhile, then they disappear, then I panic, calm myself down, and start all over.  I feel almost bipolar, riding an emotional roller coaster!  Aaaagggh!  For now, I sit tight, meditate, take some deep breaths and just believe … I breathe in faith, and exhale fear …

I am thankful to the individuals who have taken the time out to listen to me whine, and help me to set my head straight.  My hubby who listens to me as I allow the craziest of thoughts to escape from my mouth, who assures me that I’m going to be okay, and who believes in me wholeheartedly.   I’m thankful to my Coach @speedysasquatch who reminds me that he can help me expose my running talent, who gives me my plan and holds me accountable for my training.  My Twitter posse  and my running peeps who help keep me reeled in, and help squash the self-doubt, and help me to see ME! 

Two and half weeks left … one last long run, then it’s taper time …

Priceless

R. Wallen, R.N.1 Comment

Running … It’s supposed to be “free,” right?  You’d think it would at least be cheap or inexpensive, but in reality it’s not.

If you just get out and run, just run, then, yes, it’s free.  You don’t worry about anything … you just get out there or jump on a treadmill and go.  But once there’s an inkling that you want to get serious, this is where things can get a little pricey.  Let’s see …

Good shoes, not just any old pair of shoes that you can pick up at the local department or sporting goods store.   You have to remember that your feet take the bulk of the pounding and stress when you are run running.  They deserve protection.  They deserve to have some good money spent on them.  Spend the time to get your gait analyzed so you know which shoe is best for you.  Try them all on and make sure they’re comfortable.  And when you find that perfect pair, getting a second pair is suggested when you’re really putting the mileage in.

Inserts are necessary for some runners like me who have issue with their feet such as plantar fascitis.  Sometimes, the inexpensive inserts will work well, but with the mileage that I put in and the degree of my injury, the inexpensive inserts were not the best choice for me.  Inserts can range in price, and must be researched well in order to find the perfect fit just as shoes.

Running attire – sure, running really doesn’t call for special attire if you’re just going out for a jog, but if you’re a serious runner, you know then that cotton is rotten, and some articles of clothing don’t make the best running attire.  Take into consideration the weather, sweat factor.  Dri fit is not cheap.  When it’s raining, you need a jacket.  Hats for sun and protection.  Special socks that don’t cause blisters.  Sports bras that hold boobs into place and provide support.  Shorts for the summer.  Capris or long tights for the cooler weather.  Compression socks for recovery.  Compression gear for maximum performance.

Body Glide to help prevent chafing.  Sunblock for obvious reasons.  Lip balm.  Tape for muscles, like my favorite RockTape.

Special GPS watches – if you’re serious about tracking your runs.  Maybe a heart rate monitor.

Gym memberships for those that don’t have access to a treadmill, and for workouts that need to be done aside from just running.

iPods to provide you with music for your run.  Don’t forget headphones – may they be wireless or corded, finding the right ones can prove to be a challenge.

Nutrition – not just what you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  But actual nutrition for your run – Gu, Power Gels, Gatorade, Powerade, protein shakes, and whatever else you may want to eat while you’re out there for hours at a time. Remember that as an athlete, you must fuel your body with good nutrition for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks.  Supplements may be required to assist in meeting our nutritional goals.

Doctors and Chiropractors that keep us healthy and able to run.  They can be costly, but so worth it.  Massage Therapists or a masseuss to knead the kinks out and keep our muscles supple.  Foam rollers, ice packs, muscle rubs, ace wraps … don’t forget to add those in.  Unfortunately, for some, physical therapy is needed to aid in recovery from serious injuries.

Books and magazines to learn about your sport.  Library is cheap and free, and so are articles on the internet.

Race fees – once you get serious, it’s good to have a goal and signing up for a race is a good way to keep on track by training for your goal.  Remember to factor in the cost of travel and sometimes lodging to run these races.

Coaching and training plans for those of us who need to be directed and guided, and kept accountable.

Ah … so many things to consider.  It’s such a great sport and it’s all worth it.  When it comes right down to it, it’s all worth the monetary cost that I put into it.  But the payment is more than just monetary … the payment comes in the form of the time that is paid when putting in training, the blood, sweat, and tears!  I know that there is more to it than just lacing up a pair of shoes and going out running …  All this, to me, is worth it.  I am thankful and blessed to be able to afford what I can.  I believe that what I get out of the sport far exceeds any monetary cost that I must pay.  There is so much that a monetary value cannot be placed.  The friendships that I have made.  The feeling of accomplishment that I get from completing a race.  All of it is priceless …

The Mileage Gets Longer and L O N G E R

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Marathon training isn’t easy.  It begins with a crazy idea to run a marathon that eventually takes on a life of it’s own once that decision is made and the race is chosen.  One has to find training plan, and stick to that plan.  It takes dedication and requires a lot of hard work which includes payment in the form of blood, sweat, and tears.  It is challenging physically, but EXTREMELY challenging mentally … because it’s more than just running.  Anyone can say that they could run a marathon, but will they actually make it to the finish?

Although I have been a runner for many years, it is only in the last few years that I have become a “serious” runner.   I joke that I am in constant, perpetual training as 2010 is the year that the most mileage has been hit every month.   With a half-marathon every month, there is no room for slacking off.  Put the mileage in and get the work done.

As I really have NO clue as to how to properly train for a marathon, in February, I began researching the option of getting a coach.  It’s one thing to download a plan and follow it.  It’s another to have a real, live coach giving me actual direction.  I found a few, sent out a couple emails, and choose one which I thought was a good fit.   My requirements were direct and to the point:  1. My training plans have to work around my life and my schedule; 2. I need someone to hold me accountable; 3. I need someone to engage me; and 4. I prefer not to have my training plans given to me all at one time.  Easy, right?  Apparently, too easy.  In June, my coach sent me my training plans for my NWM training up until the day of the marathon!  Noooo!  I can’t have plans like that.  First off, I have a somewhat confusing working schedule.  And secondly, as I perused the *entire* schedule, it caused me to panic as anxiety and self-doubt set in!!!  As if that were not bad enough, I don’t hear from my coach again.  I saw him online a couple times, and I sent him a message that said, “Say, ‘Hi, Row., how is your training?'”  So he asks.  I shouldn’t have to ask.  You are my coach … you should be on me everyday!!!

Ah … but that’s old news already.   I have a new coach.  I have a better coach who gives me a weekly plan, is accessible, answers my questions, quells my fears, helps squash my self doubt, but best of all, holds me accountable for my workouts.  I like my new coach.  it’s only been a month, and I can see that I have improved tremendously since signing on.  However, the mileage is getting longer … and L O N G E R …

Duh, Row.!!!  You are training for a marathon!  It is expected that the mileage will get longer, but thinking about it makes me queasy and puts me in a state of discombobulation as my mind spins in circles trying to wrap my head around the idea.  It’s crazy because I know that I can run a marathon.  At this point there are 6 weeks left until NWM!!!  SIX! I have to get the mileage in.  I need to get the mileage in.  I have NO excuses.  If I want to do well, if I want to improve … and I DO … then I have to suck it up and do the work.

So I run.  I follow the instructions and the plan, and I run.  Intervals, tempo, mile repeats, long runs, hills.  As the mileage increases, so does my need to find the time to run for hours, as well as my need for good, restful sleep, and intake of extra calories.  It took me awhile to figure this out as I often found myself exhausted, or in the middle of a hypoglycemic episode at the *wrong* time!

I have been working hard at getting more sleep in … but it’s a little difficult as I am a true nocturnal being.  I work at night, and sleep during the day.  Makes for a weird training schedule as I don’t have “normal” hours.  Some nights when I know that I should be sleeping, I’m not.  Instead, I’m messin’ around on the computer – Facebook or Twitter are the two places that I troll around and lurk the most.  Either that or I’m trying to catch up on housework, or whatever else needs to be done.  It’s so hard for me to just “turn off” and go to sleep.

Eating has been a challenge as well.  I’ve had a few hypogylcemic episodes because of this lack of intake – once was at work, as I was rendering patient care.  I know I freaked that patient out as I turned pale, began sweating profusely, and damned near DFO’d (done fell out)!  In my head, I know that I need to eat.  I know that I need extra calories.  I have to remember to feed myself.  When I don’t do it correctly, I tend to eat all the “wrong” things.  I need to get this right more than any other part of my training.  This has been the most difficult to correct.  I need to learn about slow burning carbs – but I despise oatmeal’s texture.  Gah!  In the meantime, I eat, albeit it’s more like force-feeding myself, and I gag the entire time!  I have been told that I am “fueling an athlete’s body.”  Therefore, I should feed it right!  I know, I know!

I countdown, and I panic at times as I realize that time is moving so quickly towards the day of the marathon … when I know that I shouldn’t.  In my mind, I know that I have time.   My Coach reels me back down to reality …  Focus on the now … Focus on the now … No countdowns.  Just focus on what’s happening now … day by day.  Look no further than what’s at hand.  I will eventually get to “D” day, but for today, I will get the work done, and look no further than what’s on my schedule for today.

37 days left … Time to go get the work done, put the mileage in, ’cause these miles ain’t gonna run by themselves!!!  See you at the finish line!

Giving Thanks

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

I am not sure that I could possibly thank everyone or everything that has gotten me to this point in my running endeavors, however, I will do the best that I can to give as much thanks for all that I have received.

I am thankful for my friends who run with me – be it virtually via Twitter or FaceBook, or beside me in real life.  My friends cheer me on, motivate me, and pick me up when I’ve had a bad run or a bad day.  They make suggestions, answer my questions,  listen to my whining, and remind me that I CAN do this, that I GOT this!  For those who run with me in real life – thank you for trusting me and allowing me to run with you.  I will always do the best that I can to motivate and inspire you, and I would never leave you behind.  I am thankful for the time that we can spend together as we run.

I have to give a special “Thank You” shout out to my running buddy, Mac (a.k.a. The MACHine) Donahoo.  We just celebrated our one year Runniversary.  In 2010 we have run a race together every month.  She is the Laverne to my Shirley.  She amuses me.  She is “real.”  She is an awesome runner who also happens to be a good wife, mother, friend, RT.  She never lets me get down on myself.  We live 1.5 hours apart, and train virtually together, but every month we get together and crank out a Half.

I am thankful for my Coach, SpeedySasquatch.  Before I even signed on, he answered my silly questions and gave me various suggestions on running.  He welcomed me into his team.  He is patient with me as I doubt myself, and reminds me that “it’s” inside of me and that he will bring out the Bad Ass Runner that he knows dwells in the depths of my being (why don’t I know that its there?).   I trust the training as I have watched myself transform and improve in the short amount of time that I have been training under him.  He is always encouraging, and never lets me get down on myself.  I am a believer.  He is worth every cent that I pay him.  I am so grateful that Ali (@alitherunner), Linda (@MsV1959), and Shannon (@hendy2) suggested him!  He ROCKS!

Much mahalo (“Thank you” in Hawaiian) goes out to my friends from Aliamanu Intermediate, and Radford High School where I first learned about comraderie and team work.  Mahalo to my first real coach Thomas Chun – I have fond memories of him following us in his mustard colored Toyota as we ran our long distances.

I am thankful to my Chiropractor, Dr. Brian Crawford, who keeps my body in alignment.  I love the way it sounds when my spine clicks into place from C1 all the way down to my sacrum as I am manually adjusted.  Most people don’t care for manual adjustments and avoid the Chiropractor for that reason.  I run to my Chiropractor for this reason!!!

I am thankful to God for blessing me with a healthy body that is able to withstand and endure the “beatings” that I bestow upon it … I believe that it is amazing to be as “old” as I am, and to be able to still run, jump, punch, lift, push, pull, bend … to have NO health issues, and I have remained healthy, strong, and fit …  My body is one that has carried and delivered four healthy babies, has run thousands of miles, and at times has felt as if it has been put thru the wringer!  It is because I can still do all of these things, but more importantly because I can get up in the mornings that  I cannot complain.  I will not complain.

And last, but not least as this is the most important, I am thankful for my husband and family.  They are my rocks.  My hubby allows me to train as I need to.  He shoulders the brunt of the household duties that I let slide,  nurses me when I’m injured, has learned the art of taping, maps out running routes for me, rides alongside of me on my training runs, buys me gadgets, brings me to all of my races, sometimes also running in the shorter distance race … all without complaint.  My boys have accompanied me on my runs – sometimes on bike, sometimes by skateboard.  I have yet to get them to actually run beside me, but I’m slowly getting there.  They have endured my crankiness as I lose hours of sleep to get out there and run.  They know what I need to get out the door.  They tag along with me to races and most times they’re all there at the finish line waiting for me.  I have the best family ever, and I am truly blessed!!!

I lead a very blessed life, and I am truly thankful.

Dead Last

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

It’s one of the most common fears when signing up for and entering a race:  coming in last place.  I can now say that I have the honor of holding that position in the last race that I ran.

Date: 03 July 2010.  Location:  Vallecito, CA.  Name of Event:  Hernia Hills  a.k.a. Half From Hell!  Time It Took To Place Dead Last: 2:37:25

I don’t even know if I want to write about it, so I will just write what comes to mind.

I have many goals and aspirations.  I set my sights and bars high, probably too high in the opinion of many.  However, I expect a lot from myself, and I am the hardest on myself when it comes to punishment and self-berrating.  I expect myself to do well, and to produce results … All.  The.  Time.

So what happens when my goals aren’t reached or fall short?  I can honestly say that I do beat myself up internally.  It’s difficult for me not to.  It wasn’t even a “bad” time … just a slow one, and I finished!  Com’mon, Row., what the hell?  Can’t you just be happy with that?  That run was difficult to say the least, but you were out there, you did your best, and you finished.  End of story.  There was no “DNF” by your name … there was a time!

I know.  I know.  I know.  I get that.  I understand it.  I should not be ashamed.  I should be proud of myself, and I am.  I am very proud of myself.  To be my age and to still look as good as I do, to be in the shape that I am in, and to be as fit and healthy as I am … I get it.  But … but … but … there’s always a “but.”  There are those who were not out there, didn’t even try, laughed at the name of the race.  There are those who literally sat on their couch, or laid in bed while YOU were out there, Row.  There are those who can only wish that they could attempt to do what you do.  There are those who wish that they could walk, or sit up, or let alone move a finger, breathe on their own.  What you accomplished was AMAZING, Row.   Let it be, Row.  Leave it alone.  Let it go …

Dead Last Finish is greater than Did Not Finish, which trumps Did Not Start.

There should be no tears.  There is no crying.  You finished with a time … End.  Of.  Story.

Running Code 3 To Me

R. Wallen, R.N.Leave a comment

Life is hard.  I know that it was not meant to be easy, but, seriously, does it have to be so difficult?  I digress.  Life is complicated, yes, but it could be much worse.  That I know and understand, and for that reason alone, I will be thankful for the life that I have been blessed with.  After all, I am healthy; I am married to a great man; I have great kids who are all beautiful and healthy; I have a career that is taxing but that I enjoy; I am able to pay my bills; I have savings; I have food; I have shelter; I have transportation; my body is STRONG; my mind is STRONG; and I have great faith in God and Heaven and the Angels.  Yes, life is sooooo hard, but it could be sooooo much worse.

I lead a very blessed life, and I cannot complain … I should not complain, yet there are many days that I do.  I am not going to lie.  I understand all that I am blessed with, and I am very thankful for everything, yet I am only human, and I “forget.”  Aaarrrggghhhh … how does this happen???  I forget as I get overwhelmed and get caught up in the “Poor Me” syndrome.  I work full-time in a sometimes thankless job taking care of others; I have four children who all need something from me; the house needs to be cleaned and organized; my car needs gas; the mortgage needs to be paid as well as the other miscellaneous bills … I sometimes feel as if everything is an emergency and I’m always moving at  “Code 3” speed with such urgency and all the lights and sirens …  There is only so much of me to go around and I “forget.”  I forget, and in the midst of it all, I lose myself, and I lose sight of the important things, and I get upset, angry, frustrated, and have meltdowns at the most miniscule of events.  Sometimes, it’s a wonder that I can remember to breathe.  It is at this time that I must take a much needed break and get out … get some air … move my body … break away from the monotony of the day … and be alone with myself, listening only to the songs that come out of my beloved iPod and to the sounds of my own breathing and my heart beating as it sends blood coursing through my veins.  How?  How can this be done?  This happens to me when I run.  This is how I get away. 

It’s a free getaway.  It’s an important part of me, that my family understands that I must do.  Just RUN!  While I am running, for the most part, I only have to worry about myself.  Am I breathing okay?  How is MY form?  How do MY feet feel?  Is MY heartrate within range?  Do I look good?  Am I hydrated enough?  When is MY next race?  What’s MY pace?  I am able to lose myself in my own thoughts, and transcend into a different place far away from all that troubles me. 

It is during my runs that, although difficult in the beginning, I am able to put most of my life into perspective.  Answers to perplexing dilemmas come more clearly.  Conversations inside my head occur freely to the point where they are so vivid that I answer myself outloud. 

They say that running is 90% mental, the rest is physical.  I am able to attest to this as I have found that while running, the things that I tell myself, or thing about, can make or break my run.  I have learned to always talk positively to myself while doing so, otherwise my run turns to what I feel is a failure of epic proportions.  Therefore, the little issues in my life must be resolved quickly so that I can turn my full attention to the aspects of my run. 

I have learned that too much thinking about my run/race is NOT a good thing.  Overthinking and obsessing about my time, pace, and what other runners/racers are doing have caused me to “fail” in my thoughts of myself.  Silly thoughts that I did not perform well, when in fact I had recorded a Personal Best (PB or PR).  I forget that the real race is the one that happens in my head, against myself, and I must regroup and congratulate myself on a job well done.  I must remember that it’s not about winning, it is about improving and not letting myself down, and about the ability that my wonderful, little body is able to perform to carry out my goals and get the job done.

My life is good.  It is made better after a good run.  It’s just running.  I run to clear my head, to put my thoughts into perspective.  I run because I am able to run.  I run for me.  I run from me, but most times, I run Code 3 to me …