As of today, I have not fully committed to running the California International Marathon.  I have less than one month, and I have not decided whether or not to run this race, or to say, “Eff it!” and let it be my very first DNS!

This is where my Libra personality truly shows.  As a Libra, I have such trouble with making decisions.  I want so much for the answers to just come to me, and for them to just come easy.  I am ashamed to admit that I want decisions to be made for me so I don’t have to think.  I want things to be cut and dry.  It’s too difficult for me to be able to see both sides, and they both weigh so heavily on my mind.  I think too much, is my problem.  I can’t be one of those individuals that doesn’t think and just does, just takes a chance and goes for it.  Instead, I think, and think, and then over think as I weigh the pros and cons in my mind.  I can’t ask anyone what they think because ultimately the decision is mine and only mine to make, and I will have to live with that decision.

So … here I am.  Undecided with only three weeks left to go.  Not only that, I’m currently undertrained and slightly injured.  I haven’t run more than 15 miles in any one given run.  I am also suffering from a lot of issues with my ankles in which they start to give out on me at around mile 13.  I know.  Lots of things to think about, and I better think fast.  Oh boy …

Before I get too deep in thought … Let me recap my week for you …

Sunday:  Sunday you would have found me in Fresno, California at the Two Cities Marathon.  You will recall that I had spent an awesome day with three of my kiddos on Saturday milling around the Expo and eating dinner, etc.

What can I say about the Two Cities Marathon?  They predicted 40% chance of rain … so what did I do?  I didn’t bank on the 60% chance of sunshine.  I dressed for wet and cold, and instead it was dry, warm, and sunny.  It was a perfect day in Fresno and I was overdressed!!!  Seriously OVERDRESSED.  Wow.  Capris (I haven’t worn a capri since February!!!), tank, long sleeve, and a lightweight jacket (in case that 40% chance of rain falls, y’know?).  Oh, and I can’t forget that I was asked to wear a fox beanie by my son for good luck.  It didn’t rain even one single, tiny drop … It was beautiful and sunny for my entire run.

It was great that most of the hotels offered shuttle service from to the start.  I came alone, no husband, and I didn’t ask my kiddos to come tag along and wait until I was done running.  I didn’t know anyone there, although once I got there, I could see on FaceBook that there were a few people that I knew who signed up.  There were thousands of people at the start.  I had my coffee and breakfast while on the shuttle.  I had some random person snap my picture while waiting for the start, used the Porta Potty, and then made my way down to the corral I was assigned to.

The course itself was really nice.  I can tell you that the crowd support was awesome, as well as the entertainment along the way.  It’s become somewhat customary that I use the porta potty at mile 2 – so I took a short break and went.  Throughout the run, there were ample aid and water stations, there was no shortage or long lines for porta potties either.

I had a great run.  I enjoyed running and interacting with the crowd.  I got a lot of compliments on my son’s beanie, and since our bibs were custom, most people gave me a shout out as I ran by.  As usual, I thanked as many volunteers as I could for being out there to support and help us, and I encouraged most of the runners that I ran alongside.  I have found that it really helps me when I am able to do that for others because I know how difficult it can be.

I ran a fair race.  I can tell you that I started to have ankle issues around mile 7.  Since I’ve had PF, I haven’t really been able to find the correct orthotics to help with the way my ankle turns in when I run.  I’ve kind of been neglecting it because it really doesn’t bother me until after the run.  However, running a half marathon and suffering is going to be much more difficult than running a FULL marathon and maybe having my feet fall off and the ankles.  It may be a real problem!  I’ve been trying to get into see my PT so that he can help me figure out how to stabilize my ankles.  I have also been experimenting with different shoes to see if that will help.  So far nothing.  So … my hubby’s suggestion is that if I do decide to run CIM, he will meet me at the half way point (exchange #3 for the relay) with food and a change of shoes.  Which may be something to consider.

Anyhow … back to Two Cities Half Marathon … the finish was incredible.  LOTS of people cheering.  And a short recovery walk from the finish until you got your medal hung around your neck, water, chocolate milk, and a very warm hoodie!  YES, I said a hoodie!  Immediately after, you are surrounded by tents with people cooking breakfast – HOT meals – pancakes, bacon, sausage, etc., and a tent with ice cream sundaes.  It was incredible!

Getting from the finish, back to the place where the shuttle bus driver said he would be was amusing!  I got lost.  I asked several volunteers and they all steered me in various directions except for the right one.  My only option was to pull out my iPhone, and use my GPS to find my way back.  It was only one mile and some change, so I wasn’t worried.  I had thought about calling my son to pick me up, but road closures and getting my daughter out the door would make things difficult so I opted not to call him.  I would trek my way back, and as I did, I prayed to God that I would somehow meet up with the shuttles so I would not have to walk long.  As luck would have it, I didn’t have to walk far.  God heard me.  I walked smack into the the shuttle bus driver.  Thank you, Jesus!  I got him to take my post-race picture then he drove me back to my hotel without incident where I was able to take a very long, hot shower, and checkout on time!

Would I run it again?  Yes.  It was a really nice venue!  I enjoyed the expo and the post race festivities!  I like the fact that the hotels were able to coordinate shuttles.  I love the hoodies and the hot breakfast.  I enjoyed the course entertainment, and crowd support!  It was a great race.  Not my best race, but it was fun, and I had a good time.

Monday:  I thought I’d rest.  Instead, I hit up AMAA for some cardio fun in the afternoon once I was able to get a good couple hours rest after my kiddos left for school.  You know that I love cardio at AMAA!  I love working out with my friends.  I had to modify a lot of the moves because I can’t throw a left hook because of my bum shoulder, but it was all good.  I had a really great 45 minute session with a lot of leg and core work!  =)

Tuesday:  You found me in the box today with a workout that really kicked my behind!  Seriously … It made me wish that I stayed home.

The warm up kicked my behind … Literally. Thank God for my hubby who carried a little of my weight at the end of the sled pull. Ugh. So weak today!

The Warm Up:
20 High Knees, Butt Kickers
20 Squats, Lunges
20 Kips
10 Push Ups, Pull Ups
400 m sled pull (125 #)
I couldn’t pull the sled at body wt today, so for the last 200m, Chris took a load of 25# off me. Thank God for marriage, right? Sometimes it’s 50/50, 60/40, 90/10 …

Strength:
Since my workouts are modified to accommodate my injured shoulder, my strength workout was Back Squats. Find an uncomfortable weight and do three sets of 5 reps. Okay then. My “uncomfortable” weight was #110 lbs. Yep – both the sled pull & my back squats were close to body wt. Ugh.

The Work Out:
Row 750m
50 HL Push Ups – for me modified to Jump Lunges
50 KB swings
50 Pull Ups – Modified to GHD Sit Ups
Row 750m

It was a really good workout, but when the warm up kicks your butt there’s a problem!  Whoa!

Wednesday:  The gist of it went down like this …

The Warm Up:

Run 1000m then
3 rounds of
10 Walk Out Push Ups
30 Ab Mat Sit Ups

Strength:
Back Squats for me – work up to a weight that is uncomfortable and do 5 sets of 3 reps. Yeah. I love squats, so it took me awhile to find that uncomfortable weight of 105# (I think).

The Work Out:
6 Rounds of
5 Cleans (12# dumbbell touch ground, and lift overhead for me)
5 Burpees
5 Push Presses (26# KB swing for me)
5 Box Jumps
5 Front Squats
5 Push Up Deadlifts

Row 1000m

Thursday:  I love working out. There is no doubt about that. Today’s workout taxed me and made me doubt myself for a little bit. Don’t get me wrong, it was an awesome workout, but it was rough.

The Warm Up:
3 Rounds of
10 Burpees
10 Mountain Climbers
10 Ring Rows
200m Run

Strength/Skills:
Accumulate:
1 minute L sit
1 minute L hang
1 minute L ring support
2 minutes Hand Stand Hold
10 Skin The Cats

Okay … this workout really had to be modified for me because of my shoulder. I could do the L sits, but the L hangs I could not so that had to be modified. The Ring Support I could do. The Hand Stand Hold, I could not … so … my trainer modified it for me so that I had an upside down Bosu ball that I would put my hands on, and then an exercise ball that I would put my toes on and hold for 2 minutes. He wanted to see if I had plank skills … I have MAD Plank Skillz! I rocked that exercise and I’m pretty proud of myself! I skipped the Skin the Cat move altogether because I’m sure that was one of the exercises that jacked up my shoulder weeks ago!

The Work Out:
4 Rounds
200m Sandbag Carry (45# for me)
24-18-12-6
Sumo Deadlift High Pulls
Bar Facing Burpees

This. Workout. Kicked. My. Ass! It took a lot out of me, and I had to dig deep to find the strength to finish. But finish I did, and I finished strong.  But I was dying on the floor when I was done!  Although I had a substitute trainer today, I’m thankful that he was encouraging, and motivating.

When I got home from my workout, I had a message on my answering machine from my Chiropractor, Dr. Brian Crawford, telling me that he had read my FaceBook status and telling me that I needed to get my butt in his office so that he can fix my shoulder!  Lucky for me, my kiddos had an appointment so we all headed down there.  He cracked my back, my neck, then adjusted my left shoulder.  He knew which spots to hit in my scapula, the front of my shoulder, and my bicep.  He knew that there was some nerves that were also getting impinged along with my muscle because of the shooting pains I was getting in my bicep.  How did he know?  I didn’t say a word.  Let me just say that I felt instant relief after getting adjusted, then I was able to use the H-Wave for 30 minutes as I waited for my boys to finish.  I have an awesome Chiro.  He looks out for me, and didn’t charge me for my visit.  He knew that I was hurting as I’d been in a few weeks earlier complaining of the same thing.  He takes great care of my family and I and I would highly recommend him to everyone!

Friday:  It’s Friday, and it’s Veteran’s Day. I’m thinking that the box wouldn’t be open at all, but Noah, Chris, and I, and our tag-a-long, Grace, go in hopes that it will be open … and it was! I’m glad we went because we had a great session. Easy and fun. Well, you know “easy” means something entirely different to me.

The Warm Up:
800m run
3 rounds
10 PVC Good Mornings
10 PVC Squat Jumps
10 PVC Overhead Presses

The Workout #1:
11 minutes AMRAP
11 Ground to Overhead (modified to 26# KB swing)
11 Toe to Bar (modified to Ab Mat Sit Ups)
11 Box Jumps

The Workout #2:
5 minutes AMRAP
10 Ball Slams (modified to side slams for me)
7 Burpees

Deep stretching.

It was a nice way to end my week. =)

Saturday:  Nope … Got nothing for ya today.  I’ve worked out all week and I’m done.  Today’s a rest day for me.  Sleep and recover!  =)  Seriously!  Sleep and recover!

It’s been a great week.  I’ve worked out hard, and I can see results and I like that.  You know that my week last week was crap, and although I know that I need weeks like that where I do nothing, it was still mentally devastating that I had such a long rest period.  It threw my game off on Sunday when I ran in Fresno … Okay … It may or may not have, I just know that I wasn’t 100% at Fresno, where a few weeks earlier I had a great run in Stockton!  I just know that it makes a difference in my game and performance when I’ve worked out.

I know that in the upcoming weeks I have some really hard decisions to make.  I’m sure I’ll end up running CIM if just to run.  I have never DNS’d a race and I don’t know if I really want to.  I know that it won’t be a pretty run, but I know that if I do run, that I’ll finish!  So we’ll see …

Maybe I set my goals and bar too high.  I know that my expectations of myself are very high.  I’m hardest on myself and I expect a lot out of myself.  I’ve tried to lower the bar and my expectations, and I’m not just able to.  I am very good at beating myself up physically and mentally.  I am a positive thinker, and I do believe that what you tell yourself plays a big role in how you perform and what your outcome is … I know that I expect a lot out of myself, but I am also kind to myself.  I know when to back off, and when to let go of the dream.  It might take a minute, but I’m a realist.  It’s all good and I can roll with the punches.

As I roll into week 20, I’ll make my decision as to whether I’ll run CIM.  I’m pretty sure I’ve made up my mind.  I’ve had a couple heart to hearts with my good friends Marci (@BA_MarciRuns), and with Erika (@erikarae74).  I have yet to talk to my husband who knows me best, but seriously, I think I know which way I’m leaning.  Like I said, I know that ultimately the decision is up to me and me alone, and I will have to live with whatever I decide.  I’ll keep training hard.  I’ll get a LONG run in next week and see how I feel, and I’ll keep bugging my PT to help me with stabilizing my ankles.

It’s all good.  I know that whatever I decide, I’ll be okay with my decision.  It’s been a great training week for me!  I expect next week to be another good week.  I’ll make it the best week that it can possibly be.  I have a few friends running Clarksburk Country Run in Sacramento on Sunday … One running a half, the other a 20 miler.  I almost … *almost* signed up for the half, then the half relay … but in the end decided to stay home and chill out.  I don’t feel bad at all for missing a race!  =)  Those who have been following me know that I have been racing at least 2x month.  It’s taxing when you tally up my miniscule training runs during the week.  I know that I’m over a 1000 miles for 2011 already.  I’m proud of that.

So … Week 20’s comin’ up … Get out there everyone.  Train HARD!  Train SMART!  Eat WELL!  And, most importantly, have FUN in the process.

Sometimes the only way to do something that you don’t want to do is to just do it … Fake it until you make it.  Smile and pretend that you’re having a great time, and turn off the voices in your head that tell you that you’re tired, etc.  That works for me, anyway.  I just keep pluggin’ away and talk to myself, telling myself positive things … there’s the occasional cursing in there, but for the most part, I get what needs to be done, DONE!

Sunday:  I was skeptical about running the St. Joseph’s Stockton Half Marathon.  I was exhausted … literally bone tired.  I hadn’t been sleeping well the whole week, nor had I been eating as well as I usually do.  But … I was going to run.  I signed up for this race, and I would run it.

I was thankful that my husband was able to take the day off so he could come with me.  Like I said, Chris is my biggest fan.  He’s my driver, my cheerleader, my BFF.  We brought our daughter, Grace, who loves to come hang out with us and cheer the runners on.  We got up early, hit Starbucks, and headed on over to the race start.

We were able to find my friends, Cory, Erika, and Cindy easily.  We took advantage of the time we had and hit the porta potties, then took our customary pre-race pictures.  It was nice to have a lot of time and not have to rush.  Race start was promptly at 0730.  After a pre-race speech by the race director, Tony Vice, and by Mike Ricks, VP at St. Joseph’s Hospital we started without incident.

The race was pretty uneventful.  The weather was perfect.  The course was completely – COMPLETELY – marked.  It was similar to last year with just a little tweaking.  I ran mile 1 and 2 with Erika and Cindy.  Erika was pacing Cindy to PR.  I didn’t want to screw that up too much ’cause I was just running.  I ran a few feet of mile one with my friend, Hardy.  He’s a FAST runner, so I told him I’d see him at the end.  At mile 2.5, I knew that I had to stop and take a potty break.  Good thing, too ’cause I really had to gooooo!!!  I ran mile 3 thru 5 pretty much alone.  At mile 6, my friend Melanie caught up to me and we ran together until mile 8.  Melanie’s FAST(er) than I am so when I started to peter out, I told her to go.  I saw Chris and Grace and their awesome signs!  My favorite cheerleaders!  I ran alone from there on out until the end.  Not really alone though as I ran with others and I did my best to encourage them as we ran together, or as I passed them.  I did get a one guy to throw up a “shaka” sign as we came towards a course photographer! Too funny!

Around mile 10, I had to have a talk with my very heavy legs.  They were trying to tell me that they were tired.  I told them that they were not, that we had a little over 3 more miles to go so they had to suck it up, STFU, and keep on moving!  Basically, I said, “Too effing bad, you better keep moving, and get the rest of us to the finish line!”  They follow directions well … cause I got to the finish without much incident or anymore complaining from them.  I love that when I rounded the corner from Grand Canal towards the finish, I briefly saw Chris and Grace, then I heard the announcer over the PA announcing … “Annnnndddd comin’ in towards the finish is one very happy Row. Wallen.”  Since it’s Stockton, and it’s where I live, I have the hometown advantage.  Lots of people that knew me were there cheering me on!  It was such a great feeling!

This was by far a really great race!  So much better than last year.  Packet pick up went very smoothly at the new Fleet Feet of Stockton.  We not only got a nice tech shirt, but also a reflective running vest from Mizuno.  The expo, albeit small, was friendly.  I love how most of my friends were running the booths!  On the course we were given COLD water!  OMG!  COLD water is like gold!  The Gatorade that was offered was also COLD.  There were ample aid/water stations, and enough porta potties on the course.  As I mentioned earlier, the course was completely marked.  The volunteer police, as well as the paid police on patrol guiding and controlling traffic were very helpful.  The volunteers at each aid station were all very lively, enthusiastic, and motivating.  I absolutely LOVED the mile 12 volunteers who danced with the sign and encouraged every runner as we ran by!

Post race we were offered not only our medals, but a towel, and water.  We were also provided with some awesome post race nutrition – cookies, fruit, and Togo Sandwiches.  The race photographers, CaptivatingSportsPhotos.net, took some great – seriously GREAT –  race pictures before, during, and after the race … AND … they provided us with FREE photos to pick up at the race, or to download from home.  I have a lot of pictures from this event, so if you want to see them you’ll have to log onto FB and check out my album there.

So much fun.  I’m thankful to have been able to run this race once again this year. With the sponsorship of St. Joseph’s Medical Center, Tony Vice, the race director, was able to put on a great race this year.  Thank you so much for providing Stockton with a venue that we can all be proud of.  =)  I ran a great, happy race … can’t ask for much more!

Monday:  Thought I’d take a rest, huh?  Oh no …

I’ve had serious DOMS since very early Friday morning. I could barely walk then or on Saturday. Then I ran a half marathon yesterday. You’d think I’d rest today, but nooooo … the hubby said I needed to go workout with him. So … okay … I’ll go …

The Warm Up:
800m run
High Knees
Butt Kicks
Opp Heel Reaches

Strength:
Deadlifts – “Find a weight that is slightly uncomfortable.” Really? What exactly does that mean? Heehee. For me … it’s 90lbs. I know … weak. Oh well. I worked it. I LOVE deadlifts.

The Workout:
“Bradshaw”
10 rounds –
3 HSPU (modified to 6 hand lift push ups ’cause of my healing shoulder. I asked to do HSPU and was told NO!)
6 Deadlifts
12 Pull Ups
24 Double Unders

Hahahahaha! This was a great workout! I can feel myself getting so much stronger. I know that this workout ROCKS. I love it so much. I love my trainer! He’s awesome!

Tuesday:  For the life of me, I can’t remember what workout I did on Tuesday!  What the heck?!  I know that I went and worked out because  … I know I did, then I went home and showered and went to lunch with my gal pal, Linda!  Aaarrrgggh!  I can’t find it on my trainer’s website either because it’s down for maintenance!  Okay … This day is to be updated … Oi!

Wednesday:  Since I worked last night, I decided to go ahead a make today a rest day.  I know.  Lame.  But It is what it is.  I’ve been working my butt off at home, at work, on the pavement, and in the box so don’t judge unless you’re walking in my shoes.  My body is one EXHAUSTED mother!

Thursday:  My body said, “Row., you’re tired. Stay home. Rest.” Did I listen? No, of course not. I got myself dressed, and out the door I went.

I was late and I thought about not getting out of the car, of just driving away when I got there … But I was seen so there was no backing out now. So I got out and started …

The Warm Up:
Run 400
Leg swings – side/side, front/back
Good mornings
Then … Then … Wait for it … Sled Pull at just about my body weight to 400m! HOLY COW, Batman!

Strength:
Bench Press on a ball

The WorkOut:  (As if everything else wasn’t enough …)
4 Rounds
20 sec L sit
20 KB swing squats
8 burpee broad jumps

That workout took a lot out of me. Wait … The sled pull took a lot out of me. My trainer said he wanted to work my “powerhouse muscles.” Really? Yep. The backs of my legs were on FIRE!!! Yep. It zapped my energy. It tested my faith in myself. I asked to be killed. And yet … I survived. Thanks to my trainer.

Friday:  I so wanted to stay home.  Heehee.  It would be so easy for me to just climb into bed once Grace gets on the bus.  However … I know better, so I got my hubby up and off we went …

“Maybe we should’ve stayed home,” was my first thought when we got there. The box was full, people were everywhere … so we just settled in and started the warm up …

The Warm Up:
Row 1500m OR
Run 1 mile … I ran one mile
10 Wall Balls
10 Pull Ups
10 Walk Out Push Ups

Strength:
3 rounds of
10 Back Extentions
20 GHD Sit Ups

The WorkOut:
20 minutes, As Many Reps as Possible (AMRP)
Run 200m
15 DB Thrusters
Okay … I did this workout three weeks ago and jacked up my shoulder, so my DB Thrusters were modified to Back Squats. I was happy with my 45 lb bar. Once I started though, my trainer and his partner came at me with some weights for each end of my bar. They added 30 lbs to my measly little bar. What could I do? I just went with the flow, gutted out the workout and finished 8.5 rounds! It’s all good. =)

Saturday:  Would you believe me if I told you that I went and worked out?  Don’t.  I did nothing.  I worked a long ass 12 hour shift, came home, slept, then went to Stockton Thunder Hockey!!!!  I made myself have a rest day and spent it with my awesome Fam Bam!  I seriously still hurt.  My body hurts.  I’m sure it’s from the cumulative effects of constantly pushing my body and asking it to do more and more everyday.  EVERYDAY!  Even on rest days I’m still doing something.  Like today … Rest?  Hahaha!  I did a lot of stretching before and after going to the game.  I mean, seriously, I am very thankful for my body.  I am thankful for all that it does when I push it.  I know that I ask a lot of it, but it always delivers.  Always.  There’s usually some moaning and groaning coming from the mouth, but my everything else delivers.  So if I want to slack off a little and just lay in bed a little longer … then so be it.  My body deserves it.

Hockey was fun.  It was Halloween day, so my lovely daughter, Grace, dressed up as her requested “Dead Zombie Cheerleader.”  I never knew that she was such an avid hockey fan!  She was all over the place – screaming, cheering, clapping, and just having the time of her life!  I love it because it’s loud and fun!  I also love it because it’s time with my family that’s been a little to few and far between.

I can tell my body needs to get to the Chiro.  I also need to make another massage appointment.  My shoulder is still pretty tight and sore, and my legs are full of lactic acid!  LOL!  =)  I’ll do that next week.

I got my hotel for the Fresno Two Cites Half booked, and I got my registration in for the Walnut Creek Half Marathon finally.  Was just waiting on some final details.  I know.  Crazy.  So … it’s been a very eventful, busy week.  Next week doesn’t get any easier, it’ll be just as crazy with Fresno coming up.

On a good note … my muscles a poppin’!  Hot damn!  My trainer’s been workin’ me hard and he promised me that if I was faithful and put in 100% that I’d see results.  He was right.  I’m very pleased with what I’m seeing … No … I’m stoked!  I’m happy.  I’ve been working hard!  My trainer always tells me to “Stop testing the waters and just do it.”  I know … I think too much, and he can see that I do too.  He pushes me all the time, never lets me slack.  Love it and hate it at the same time!

Week 18 comin’ up … 4 weeks left.  I’ve gotta get this sh!t done!  I’m tired, but I’m not going to think about it anymore.  I already know what I need to do and I’m just going to work hard and get it done!  I need to get a 20 miler in!  Eeek!  Train HARD!  Train SMART!  Have FUN!  Let’s goooooo …. =)

It’s just about time to start gettin’ down to business … Week 16 … Uh yeah, Row.  We’re gettin’ down to the nitty gritty and it’s time.  There’s no time anymore to dilly dally or fiddle fart around.  Com’mon now, Row.  You better get real about this marathon, or this marathon’s gonna get you!  I know.  I’m just lazy, and like I said … I’m just not into it.  This marathon’s gonna end up biting me in the a$$ if I’m not careful.  Ah well …

Sunday:  This is the day of Nike Womens Marathon.  This race was my first real run that wasn’t a 5 or 10K not even a half marathon, but a MARATHON.  I started running this race because my husband thought I’d rock it!  He thought it’d be a great way to honor my father that passed away a few months before registration opened.  Thinking that it was a lottery, and that there was no way I would “win,” I entered … and then … I “won!”

This year would be no different.  I’m old hat at this race, right?  I know what to expect.  I know what to do, where to go.  I’ve got a routine down.  Right?  No sweat … Except this year was a little bit “off.”

Starting on Friday when our Party Bus took a dive while Chris worked to ready it.  He worked so hard to determine the problem, but he was unable to that night.  On Saturday he thought he had the problem fixed, only for it to hesitate as we drove it to go pick up Cory.  We took it back home because we didn’t feel it was safe to drive it such a long way, and we worked on formulating a Plan B, which was to find a rental car to drive.  As we searched for one, we were fortunate enough that Cory offered to drive to the city.  Thank God!

I, myself, felt “off.”  I wasn’t feeling like myself, I was so unusually exhausted that no matter how much I slept I never felt as if I was rested. I attribute this to me getting the flu shot, although this has never happened to me in the past after getting the shot.  So I dunno.  I just could not get myself together.  I thought it would pass and I’d just go about my merry way, but when you’re not 100% it’s rough going.

Sunday morning, I found myself awake at 0300 and unable to go back to sleep.  Try as I may, it was not happening.  0500 came quickly.  Cory and I dressed, and packed up our stuff and prepared to haul it back to the car that was at the parking garage.  Chris’ plan was to drive the car to a destination close to the finish line.  We left him at the parking garage and off Cory and I went to the start.

At the start of a huge race like this … we found ourselves in a sea of people.  There were 22,000 people registered to run this race.  Add on their families and miscellaneous viewers and you really have a lot of people!  A LOT!  I knew that going to the restroom prior to race start would be an issue.  The lines for the porta-potties alone were sooooo long.  I told Cory that it would be faster if we could just go back to the hotel and use the bathroom there, however we had no room keys!  Ugh!  Lucky for us, our friend Claudia was close by and she gave us her room key to use!  Quick jaunt back to the hotel, and less than 15 minutes later we were back while people were still in line to use the porta potty!  Wow!  Pre race we were able to get a good 1.5 mile warm up in trekking from the hotel to the parking garage, to start, back to the hotel, then back to the start.

Making our way to the start we encountered a mob.  We were gridlocked, stuck in a mess of people who happened to not be moving.  Seriously, Cory, Claudia, and I were stuck!  We tried to push our way through with no such luck!  Then Evan found us … actually, she saw ME of all people.  Evan barreled her way through that crowd like a champ!!! Yep!

We did the customary pictures at the start.  There was no reception for me so to post on Facebook, or tweet anything wasn’t worth the effort and waste of battery.  We just took the pics, and tried to send out a few texts … most didn’t go through at all.  It took us about 25 minutes to get to the start line.

I ran the first 2 miles with Cory and Claudia.  At mile 3, I turned around and they were no longer beside me.  I knew that the big hill was at mile 6 then again at mile 9 … I was prepared.  Running in a sea of walkers was no bueno.  Walkers, TNT walkers, 5 deep … WTHeck?  Where is race etiquette here, people?!  I found myself weaving in and out of walkers countless times.  I was not a happy runner.

You know how sometimes you just know that things are not going to go according to plan?  This was one of those times for me.  I’ve only had one really good running experience in San Francisco and that was my first Nike.  I just don’t know if San Francisco likes me at all.  I love SF.  I spent my summers there with my grandma, and I wanted to live there as a kid!  My memories of the SF Half from July hit me like a 1/2 ton of bricks.  It was as if I had PTSD!  Whoa, the flashbacks!  I never saw any of my running friends.  I ran alone … But I talked to myself and reminded myself that it would be okay and to just keep going …

Did I have a good run?  Of course, I did.  I love Nike.  I love that I am able to honor my father by raising money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society!  I should know better than to do well in SF.  I should lower my expectations and just be happy running. I was very disappointed that I did not see one friend (besides Cory who I drove up with, or Claudia who stayed in the same hotel as we did).  I didn’t see Shiloh, or Linda, no Mac, no Mel.  I didn’t see Felisa, or Norah, or Brooke.  I didn’t see Erika Rae.  My friend Jessica, nope.   I saw no one … Not even at the finish area.  Ugh.  It was really sad …  I was really sad.

This is kind of silly, but I only have one of my Tiffany Necklaces out and that’s my first one.  The others are still in the box.  Someone asked me why I don’t sell them on Ebay.  Well … think about it … they’re my medals.  I wouldn’t think about selling my other medals on Ebay, why would I sell my necklaces?  I worked HARD for these medals.

Post marathon, Cory and I did quite a bit of walking back to the car.  We know that we walked just about 2 miles to get back to the car.  It was a little difficult because … Because … I broke rule number 1 … “Don’t try anything new on race day.”  Technically, I didn’t break the rule.  I got new shoes and had worn them on short runs, but the long runs I didn’t try them on.  They felt okay with the short runs so I took a chance.  I felt some pain at mile 6 but gutted it out and finished the race.  Post run, my right foot really, really hurt.  Walking was slightly difficult.  When I got home, I set up my foot spa as an ice bath.  Oh. My. God.  That hurt!  I could only put my feet in for 30 seconds at a time and that was it!  Total mileage for the day 17 miles!  Ugh!

Monday:  I’m exhausted!  I mean EXHAUSTED!  Beat down tired and I just want to sleep.  Unfortunately, I promise my mother that I will help her with some things around the house that she needs done.  So I spend my morning with my mother.  As much as I love her, her negativity grates on me.  Everything is a “problem.” Oi Vey!  Really, Mom?  Negativity drains me.  It saps my energy.  I missed my morning workout, but it’s okay.  I contemplate making it a rest day for a minute, but I found myself ready to go in the afternoon so I took myself to AMAA and worked out with a bunch of my favorite people!

Kickboxing with my favorite people is awesome!  I love AMAA!  45 minutes of intense cardio combined with resistance training!  Yep.  Combo punches, kicks combined with squats, ground kicks.  Ab work … Ugh.  Yeah.  Love it and I felt much better after having finished.

I finally brought my St. Joseph’s/Stockton Half Marathon registration in to Fleet Feet for Tony to register me.  I lagged getting my registration in.  Oops!  Ah well, I got it in and I’m “In.”  While at Fleet Feet, I picked up some really crazy cool running shorts that match the jacket that Chris got me at Nike Town!  I’m excited to run which is weird because I wasn’t this excited to run Nike which is pretty sad.  To be more excited to run Stockton instead of Nike … I know, I’m pathetic!  But I am excited to run in my home town …

Tuesday:  You found me in the box today.  Chris and I hit the box at 0900.  Too crazy!  I will admit that I was a whiner today. Not really whining, more like sarcastic under my breath talking to myself, etc.  I don’t whine really. It’s a defense mechanism for me to become sarcastic. Really. I did go workout today so that’s winning for me.

The Warm-Up:
3 sets of each –
5 Deadlifts
5 Power Snatches
5 OH Squats
5 Rack Snatches

Strength:
Finding 70% of Max 3 sets of 2 reps of OH Squats
*Since I have this injured left shoulder, I was to do the same but of Front Squats.

The Workout:
3 sets of each
Row 500m
15 Pull-Ups
15 Ring Dips
(Time 14:30)

Wednesday:  I have to tell you that I made today a rest day.  Gasp!  I know!  My body is still not 100% – I still feel sooooo blah, and my poor left shoulder still cries.  I have this “issue” with my left shoulder. I injured it one day during an intense workout (probably the one where I skinned the cat), and ended up straining my sub-scapular muscle and even impinging it! That was 2 weeks ago. It still hurts.  I’m sure it’s because of the fact that I’m not a good “rester.”  I push my little body pretty far, and I test it’s limits more than I should.  So today … today I rested and my body sighed a huge sigh … only to remember that I have to work tonight!

Thursday:  My intent was to hit the box at 0800 – immediately after working my 12 hour shift.  Instead what happened was some things happened at work and I was not able to leave on time, so it was decided that I would hit the 1500 time slot.  I asked Chris to wake me up at 1400.  Wow!  I slept well, but not enough.  But I got up and I went.

Since my shoulder is still pretty jacked, and I was given orders to rest it, I reminded my trainer and he promised to “modify” my workout.  He told me that today’s workout would be absolute torture for my shoulder so I was to do a workout completely different from what everyone else was doing.  I was thinking that I’d get off scott free … Oh, no!  My trainer don’t play!  “Modified” workout my a$$!

The Warm Up:
Run 400m then 2 sets of –
20 High Knees
20 Kick Butts
20 Jacks
Then run 400m. Stretch.

My “Modified” Workout:
3 Sets of –
50 Jump Lunges
50 Ab Mat Sit Ups
Run 400m

Then …
3 Sets of –
15 Back Extentions
25 Box Jumps

My Cool-Down:
Row 1500m

I watched others do handstand crawl-outs, and rope climbs, and “L” sits.  My workout was definitely the harder of the two!  Wow!  I got my a$$ beat literally!  I know that my legs are gonna be thrashed tomorrow!

Friday:  My glutes and hammies hurt!  I have DOMS really BAD!!! They ache.  Seriously … I hurt.  BAD.  I got dressed this morning after work and headed off to the box, however, I was late so I went home thinking that I would go with Chris to the 0900 class.  I fell asleep – with all of my clothes and even my shoes on as I waited.  Oh boy.  I did nothing today.  Not a dang thing.  And I feel guilty.  I feel really bad that I did nothing.  I feel as if I am lagging.  I’m lame – figuratively and literally.  It hurts to walk.  It hurts to move fast.  I tweaked my shoulder a little more today because I couldn’t wait for someone to put the 5 gallon water bottle up on the dispenser.  I did it myself and just about tore my shoulder out of it’s socket!  Ugh.  I folded my laundry standing up because I felt bad.  Yeah … I’m straight trippin’.  I am also running on empty.  You know when you’re driving your car and you know that you’re just about out of gas?  You know when you look at your gauge, and check the range and it tells you just how much you have left to go before you run out of gas?  Well, I am running on fumes and saying prayers that I make it to the next station … You know you’ve done it.  You look at that gas gauge and tell your self, or like in my case, you lie to yourself telling yourself that you’ll make it to that next gas station.  Then you tell God that if he allows you to make it, that you’ll never do anything stupid like that again.  Yep.  That’s me in life also … always skating by on a wing and a prayer.  I’ve always made it, God hasn’t let me down yet.  Yet I know that if I continue down the path that I’m headed, that my luck will eventually run out and I’ll be stuck, out of gas and praying won’t help.

Saturday:  Uh … yeah … nothing.  Not a dang piece of training to post.  Zero!  All I did today was stretch my VERY tight glutes and hammies out, and ice my shoulder as well as try to stretch that out also.  I am having very serious doubts about running tomorrow’s half.  I am tired as all get out, there’s no time to rest because I’ve got stuff to do today, and then a birthday party to attend tonight.  Oi vey!  All I want to do is sleep!

Packet pick up for the St. Joesph’s Stockton Half was at our local Fleet Feet.  Grace and I were browsing around the store and I heard someone call out my name … I turn and see Erika Rae in line.  I haven’t seen her since June because I’m such a lame friend! She looked fab!  We hit the tiny expo and then headed out.  Grace and I did a few more things that we needed to get done before heading home, then it was time to get ready for zeeee party!

The birthday party was a 50th birthday celebration for my friends, Fern and Felisa!  Chris and I had such a great time mingling, then dancing.  The food was good, the company was great, and the party was rockin’.  We had a really nice time.  It’s just so out of our element to be partying.  But we had a good time.

Right when I got home, I got my race gear ready and went to sleep as I was sooooo tired.  It’s so irritating to run on lack of sleep … this was to be one of those runs.  I was hoping that between my DOMS and my lack of sleep that I would do okay … let’s hope.  (To be continued …)

That’s week 16, people!  I know that I need to get more rest.  I know that I need to take my rest days seriously and actually do nothing.  I push and push and push my body and myself, asking and demanding more and More and MORE …

I wish I could say that I was having a good time with running.  I’m just not.  I’m still having a hard time and I’m only running bare minimum.  I need motivation.  I need some really good motivation.  I feel as if I’m running on empty literally.  Most days I’m exhausted and I feel as if I’m not 100%.  The injury to my shoulder really has nothing to do with running – meaning that it hasn’t hindered it at all, but it still makes me realize how much I really thrive on being 100% and when I’m not … when I’m struggling … I realize how much I really use (and ABUSE) my body.  I don’t ever take my body for granted.  I am thankful for everything that I have been blessed with and I am grateful that I am able to move, run, throw, jump … everything.  You just don’t realize until you’re injured just how much you rely on your body.  I’ve been icing, getting massages, using heat, muscle rub, H-Wave, to help get it back to 100%.  I am not one of those people who will sit by idly and hope that it will just heal itself.  I have not taken any pain meds, not even a mere tylenol.  It’s not that painful, it’s just irritating.  And I’m more pissed than anything that I’m injured!  Really?  It’s a sub-scapular strain with an impinged muscle!  Wow!  And only on the left shoulder.

I have 6 weeks left, I’m guessing.  I’m hoping that all goes well and that my mojo will find it’s way back to me STAT!!!  Anyone wanna help a sister who’s floundering with motivation out?  I’m sure I just need a very swift kick in the a$$!!!

Until then … I’m not going to “hope” that week 17 looks brighter.  I am going to make sure that week 17 rocks me to my core!  I know that if it is to be, it is up to ME, not anyone else.  I’m going to take whatever fumes I have and make sure that I harness it and use it to it’s fullest advantage.  I will make it a great week … make yours the same.  Train HARD!  Train SMART!  Have FUN!  Go! Go! Go!